Fanfiction - Funny quotes
Posted 24 September 2012 - 06:44 PM
This thread, is to post funny/amusing quotes from the various fanfics you've read
Please add the name, and if necessary the fandom, of the fic.
To get things started, here's one from the fic I'm currently reading
"Sometimes I really wonder how your mind works," Sai spoke his mind. Naruto shrugged.
"Lots of people do. My thought processes made the psych ninja cry once, in the Academy, when they were making sure we weren't going to go nuts and kill people on them if they taught us something. Or it could've been the wasabi I put in her coffee. I'm not sure."
Uprooted, a Naruto fic(on fanfiction.net).
Posted 24 September 2012 - 09:34 PM
The demon stood in front of a huge stereo and dexterously grabbed a CD from behind it with his tail and slid it into the tray. The demon grinned happily.
"Since the method of torture is up to me, I've decided to be creative. I hope you all like to mmm bop, because as of right now, our Hanson marathon begins!"
Unseen - Naruto fic.
Posted 25 September 2012 - 11:01 AM
"uh……wha?" Kisame blinked sleepily, "dammit Itachi, go to sleep!"
Never Cut Twice - Naruto fic(fanfiction.net).
Posted 27 September 2012 - 09:37 AM
It was a Harry Potter fanfiction, it had Harry and Hermione (a couple in this fanfic) sitting around somewhere and talking about something, the quote went something like:
"Don't worry Hermione, I won't leave you." Harry said as he tightened his grip on her waste.
I nearly spilled the coke I was drinking all over my keyboard when I read that.
Posted 08 October 2012 - 02:52 AM
"They hate me more than anyone," Gaara interrupted. A cruel smirk had begun to spread across his lips. "They fear me."
"Gaara, that's Shukaku talking. Look at me." He gently but firmly turned Gaara away from the courtyard. "I need you to start untangling what's a 'Gaara thought' from a 'crazy murderous demon thought'. Imagine your brain is a big plate of soba noodles, the regular kind and the kind with squid in 'em, so they're black, and before you, um, think your thoughts you need to pull your noodles apart."
Gaara looked at him blankly. "I do not like soba and I will not eat anything I do not like. You are… confusing. Let go of me."
"Can you just go upstairs let me talk to them alone? Please?" Naruto begged. "Forget the noodle thing, I'm terrible at explanations. Just concentrate on ways to do nice things for them, like… things that would make you feel good if someone did them for you. That's usually how you make friends with people. And stop happily threatening to kill them. That's bad."
Daybreak Part 1 - Naruto fic(fanfiction.net)
Posted 08 October 2012 - 03:01 AM
Another one from the same fic
Her crimson cheeks went even redder, but gradually her frantic gasping slowed. Naruto let her go as Gaara wandered over to the wall. She bowed very low. "T-thank you for helping me. I don't know why you did it, but I owe you my life. Thank you so much."
"You were right," he said to Naruto, resting his palm over his heart. "That does almost feel the same. Is… she one of the people you…?"
"Yup," Naruto said. "I'd like to introduce Hyūga Hinata, now that you're not trying to kill her and stuff. I'm pretty sure she's the nicest person in Konoha. She learned about my, uh, 'houseguest', and still stuck by me."
"Oh, I'm sure I'm not the nicest in all Kono–" Hinata began.
"See?" Naruto said, laughing, and then bent over Hinata's shoulder. "He's like me," he whispered very quietly, and then gave her a much abbreviated description of the circumstances that had led them both here.
Hinata's mouth formed a silent 'O' of sympathy as Naruto spoke. "If anyone knows what it's like to be a disappointment to your father, I do, Gaara-san," she murmured.
"Oh. I… see," he said, clearly grasping for the proper response and not finding it anywhere. "I am not very good at talking to people," he said finally.
A few moments of sandals scuffing the dirt, and then Hinata mumbled, "Me either. I suppose we have that in common too."
"Ah, you both just need practice, and soon you'll be babbling so much everyone you meet will want to smack you," Naruto said. "In the meantime, Gaara, you found the kitchen, right? Did they have any cold drinks up there? Why don't you work out your new friendship skills and get us a couple of sodas."
"Yes, that is a good idea," Gaara agreed. "It makes more sense than brain noodles. I will be back."
Posted 08 October 2012 - 03:09 AM
Tenten drew in a sharp breath. "Neji…"
"What?" He brought his hand to his mouth, self-conscious. "Do I have something in my teeth?"
"No... you smiled," she said. "I saw it! You totally did! And it wasn't that creepy smirk you do when you're about to make somebody's liver explode!"
"Hey Lee-san… if you want, you can borrow my makeup bag on the condition I get pictures afterward," Sakura offered.
"Holy crap, he did it again!" Tenten squealed.
Posted 08 November 2012 - 05:45 PM
“We have reports of a flying ball of fire coming in from the west,” she reported dutifully. Inwardly Hennessey’s heart sank. More paperwork.
“This better not be another phoenix,” the colonel growled. Seven of the birds had come to roost in the past two days and two buildings had nearly caught fire. Someone had shot the first with a gun, hoping for a meal. The resulting explosion as the bird regenerated itself had nearly melted the roof. The second bird was just the result of an unfortunate raven looking for a quick meal. Luckily the birds had discovered they liked perching on statues better.
“No sir. Our recon teams show that it seems to be a flying team of horses and fire,” the blond Lieutenant said simply. Her face showed none of her amusement.
“A flying team of horses.”
“Would you pass me my ulcer medication please?”
Every Silver Lining Has Its Cloud. Buffy: Tvs fic(crossover with Forgotten Realms). on tthfanfic.org
Posted 12 January 2013 - 02:35 PM
She had not been amused when he shared that particular insight."
The Empty Cage. Naruto fic(fanfiction.net)
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