Posted 18 July 2012 - 08:51 AM
This is the first character that I've created for FPL so please let me know what you think, Cheers.
Alignment : Solo Villain
Gender : Male
Location : Khazan
At the very start,
There was an old tart,
Who let out a fart.
But it was no gas.
The promiscuous lass
was pregnant, alas.
Out popped a child,
disgusting and wild.
His mother just smiled.
He was her beauty,
suckling her goatee,
as she sold her booty.
It was worse than we feared,
The baby looked so weird.
Clear of it, we steered.
An abortion that never was.
Drool dripping from his jaws.
We hated him, just cause.
So begins the story of this runt.
Born from a whore's farty grunt,
as he popped out of her c*nt.
He grew up a freak.
His voice was but a shriek.
What a damn pipsqueak.
He cried all the time.
Scraping like grime.
His breath, rotting lime.
Like those disgusting ghouls,
He dug his arse in swimming pools,
Using his fingers as his tools.
An unpleasant bum,
He smelt like eggs in rum.
We truly hated that scum.
Powers and Abilities
Iron Will - Standard
But he couldn’t be arsed.
That he was an outcast
Because of his past.
Cheerfully, he carried on.
Even when we were all gone.
Smiling from dusk till dawn.
That was when we decided
That his mirth was too misguided
And he must further be derided.
We asked a hired gun
To go have some fun
We had to end this one.
Psychic Vampire - Superior
The assassin was one of the best.
Hire him, and he does the rest.
A bullet would ring through the runt’s chest.
But the sight of this ugly boy
With his ill-deserved sense of joy
Destroyed our neat little ploy.
The killer was so full of disgust
Collapsing to the ground like dust
Into his chest, his own knife thrust.
The boy went on without a clue
As the killer’s corpse turned blue.
Without a worry, the runt flew.
Bio Vampire - Superior
He had vanquished the great killer
The man who we counted on as a pillar
But our story grows even chiller
The death seemed to greatly instill
In the boy, a sense of joy deeper still
Did he perhaps know of his little kill?
His smiles turned to a big laugh.
We spied on this disgusting pig calf
As he bounced up like a graph.
He touched the corpse that he found
Lying motionless, stinky on the ground
And danced about it, round and round.
Beserker - Superior
His laughing reached such a craze
The fat runt was clearly in a daze
We saw glee on his wretched face.
So ends the tale of this revolting kid.
Goodbye to him, we needed to bid.
As he danced, and splashed and skid.
But of our plans, was he aware?
I asked my son but he could only stare.
For the runt had fixed upon us a glare.
This song might save you, dear friend.
Our own fates, we could never mend.
As the laughing runt led us to our end.
Posted 18 July 2012 - 11:06 AM
It's a very interesting and very decent first try. It could even hold it's own on the killfloor for a while.
I'll give this one 2.5 out of 5 pandas. That poor half panda.
Posted 18 July 2012 - 11:22 AM
Thanks for the feedback again, much appreciated.
Posted 18 July 2012 - 11:56 AM
Posted 18 July 2012 - 12:03 PM
Either way, I do see your point, and I didn't meant to sound like I was countering it. Thanks again.
Posted 18 July 2012 - 12:07 PM
Posted 18 July 2012 - 12:10 PM
Posted 18 July 2012 - 10:19 PM
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