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The Pragmatist


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#1 Ivan

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 01:41 PM

This is just for fun. Play along if you like.



The Pragmatist
Weapons and Arms

“Consider what effects, that might conceivably have practical bearings, we conceive the object of our conception to have.” -Charles Sanders Pierce

(sign above the door of The Pragmatist)


The Pragmatist is not a character. The Pragmatist is a specialized weapons shop in Khazan, a place you can go to get everything from the mundane to the hyper-exotic. For the right price they can buy/find/build almost anything, and customize it for your personal taste. They also do a notable amount of modifications and repairs. The Pragmatist has three full-time employees and a number of part-timers. (Some of these are listed below. ) The storefront, workshop, and accompanying warehouse are located in Northeast Kits, about a quarter mile east of Khazan International Airport, near The Spires. The Pragmatist also does a bit of online business, this makes up about 15%-20% of their total sales.
The Pragmatist Catalogue is a favored annual publication for many a weapons collector, detailing hundreds of pieces for everyone from the exotic sport hunter to the home-defense specialist to the vigilante on a budget. They don’t sell to out-and-out criminals and supervillains, obviously, but their weapons do occasionally find a way into the hands of Khazan’s seedy criminal underworld anyway. The Pragmatist has a reputation for craftsmanship, reliability, attention to detail, and being the stupidest place in Khazan to try and rob. Let’s meet the crew:

Zwolf Ironson is a dwarf. Not a fantasy dwarf, he’s just a short human who oddly happens to ascribe to certain stereotypes (he has a beard and a thick German accent, for starters.) He’s a consummate metallurgist, clockmaker, and absolutely brilliant with pretty much anything with moving parts. He has served as the resident smith at The Pragmatist for over 30 years, and although his current age is wholly unknown, he has a surprising amount of strength and fortitude for a man of his apparent age and stature. Zwolf is a shrewd businessman, he’s meticulous to a fault, and he has an astounding memory- he quite literally remembers every weapon he’s ever built, modified, or repaired, who he sold it to, what that person was wearing when he sold it to them, how they paid, and which pocket they put the change in. Zwolf is a firm but fair businessman, although he tends to have a paranoid streak in him- many of the more advanced weapons he designs have secret built-in fail-safes which enable him to personally disable them if they are used to threaten or endanger the shop or its employees.

Nicholas “Doc” Margrave is a former teen runaway, now in his 20s, who was informally adopted by Mama Cinco after he tried to defend her against an assailant (a decision which cost him his left leg.) He was apprenticed to Zwolf, and he eventually earned enough to put himself through college, earning a PhD in Applied Sciences. While he doesn’t have Zwolf’s uncanny skill, he is still a talented weapons designer with an affinity for electronics. He tends to work on the technological components required for certain weapons, and has even written his own proprietary programming language. Doc rarely interacts with customers, but deals directly with most of the part-time employees.

Mama Cinco is a former Black Serpent supersoldier, and rumored to be one of the deadliest women on the planet. The combination of her superior genetics and Black Serpent training means virtually anything is a lethal weapon in her hands, and that lethality is only multiplied when she gets a hold of an actual weapon. Nevertheless, Mama and Zwolf set up The Pragmatist as a legitimate business, and her days of assassinations are long behind her. She runs the register when she’s in the shop, and helps out procuring rare odds and ends for special orders.

and a few of the part time staff:

Jaime Encino is a high-strung expert in exotic energy who was fired from Levent Avionics for having an “unstable personality.” He occasionally does freelance work helping Zwolf and Doc repair or modify weapons with unusual energy signatures- artifacts , alien weapons, and the like. Jaime also speaks an astounding number of languages fluently, a talent which would be more useful if he used it for something other than swearing.

Charna is an extremely agile young woman with more balls than any man you’re likely to meet. She works as a kind of concierge, acquiring necessary rare items or information when called upon. It is rumored that she double-crossed Mama Cinco exactly once, and the resulting scars are why she wears her hood up at all times. Very few people have seen her face, although Doc seems to have developed a bit of a crush on her anyway. Charna has a special knack for finding things, an almost superhuman ability to instinctively know where to go and what questions to ask.

The Pragmatist employs a number of other part-time experts as the situation arises.


Wait, what? Ivan, what’s the point of all this? Are you planning some new character? No, I’m not. The Pragmatist serves several purposes simultaneously, including helping create a new FPL writing exercise that I think might be fun. Here’s a list of my intentions.

1: The Pragmatist is a quick go-to if your character is carrying a custom piece. Now that piece has a little extra in-continuity history just by virtue of a quick mention.

2: The shop serves as a story location that can facilitate several things. KPD investigating a murder? The ballistics experts pay Zwolf a visit. Vigilante group planning a raid on a Syndicate front? Lock and Load at The Pragmatist. Fighting a supervillain who controls metal? Get a custom cold-case fusion rifle that fires ceramic grenades. Looking to beef-up security around your Dockside warehouse? Order online now and save!

3: The Pragmatist can serve as a home base for RP stuff in Khazan- characters can stock up there and/or get missions from Doc. This is similar to the Storm City stuff Serge created ten years ago, a way to RP in Khazan without needing a huge overarching plotline: you can just get together and have a quick session. Also, the Pragmatist Catalog (below) can help create an interesting reward system where your characters can obtain powers beyond the scope of their original sheet for story or RP purposes, without having to recreate the whole character.

4: The Pragmatists Catalog is my new idea. Basically, whoever wants to can submit entries for weapons. This is like writing a single power description instead of a whole character, so it should be easy to add things to it. Also new creators can try their hand here first. The super-simple format for this goes as follows:

Item # and Name
Power Name/s, Level/s, and Modifiers
Description
Price
Where the Price should be based on the number of points spent. Basically a price in the hundreds indicates Standard, a price in the thousands indicates Superior, and a price in the tens of thousands indicates Supreme (The catalog doesn’t list Ultimate level weapons, those are by special order only.) Pretty simple, I think. Here are some examples.

Item # 71: Caltrops
Standard Piercing Weapon + Multi-attack
Drop ‘em on the ground. It’s that easy. These barbed, tetrahedral iron spikes will puncture the feet or tires of anything they encounter. Highly effective for evading pursuit. Not recommended for use against hovercraft. This package includes twenty caltrops.
$99.00

Item #142: Localized EMP
Superior Radiation + Area Effect
A press of the button is all it takes with this simple-to-use, non-lethal ordinance. The Localized EMP emits a burst of electromagnetic radiation just powerful enough to disable any electronic device in a 30 yard radius. Highly effective against robots of all types. Not recommended for use from a moving vehicle. Two minute recharge time between bursts.
$2,499.00

Item #1969: Sgt. Pepper Spray
Standard Inhibit Senses + Standard Illusion Control + ranged
A potent combination of pepper spray and psychedelic hallucinogens, this self-defense necessity ensures that any unwanted advances will be met with an effective non-lethal deterrent. Highly effective against both humans and dogs. Not recommended for use as a recreational activity. Side-effects listed on box.
$599.00

#2 treacherous

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 02:32 PM

Nyuk! Sgt. Pepper Spray.

#3 KevinDWolf93

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 05:47 PM

Definitely interested, I'd definiely enjoy getting some mileage out of all options. Speaking of which, for the catalog i got an idea or two, let's see how they stack up.

Item #269:Kinetic Energy impartion projectiles (K.E.I round for short)

superior seismic/crushing + ranged

Are rubber bullets and beanbag rounds just not doing it when it comes to a less-lethal firearm alternative? Try the K.E.I round, guranteed to turn any firearm into a manstopper and knock targets off their feet no matter what they wear. Where bullets meant for killing use most of their energy to penetrate the body, the K.E.I round's bullet is treated specifically to splat rather than penetrate and due to a secret method the bullet itself dissapates the energy over a large area of the outer part of the body(or armor) in a "rippling effect", likely sending your target flying head over heels hollywood style. Due to the design, the trajector of a bullet is comparable of that of a standard round with little drop in accuracy.
-$1,095 for a box of 50 rounds,can be chambered for most pistol calibers, rifle and shotgun calibers soon to come.
*Disclaimer*
refrain from headshots as the bullets impact acts like the epicenter of an explosive and has been tested to have enough kick to cause brain damage and other physical side effects, various calibers procure different forces transferred based off joules the bullet is carrying.

#4 Pseudonym

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Posted 28 June 2012 - 09:53 AM

Wooo! Cool Stuff! So I made some.

Item #40: Jetpack
Standard Flight
Wow, you won't believe how many people asked for this before we started including them on the catalog. The Jetpack is a personal vertical propulsion system. Worn like a backpack, this device will get you from A to B at an amazing speed. Runs on gasoline that you would find at any station. Holds ten gallons which will take you about 175 miles in any horizontal direction if you fly at the recommended height (about twenty feet in the air). With the glider attachment, which costs extra, you can carry yourself almost ten times as far.
Price: $999.99

#44 Flamethrower
Superior Fire + Ranged
It's a flamethrower, the basic deal. Useful for clearing away foliage or opponents. Shoots a jet of flame twenty yards forward. Do not stand in front of the barrel. Not for use under 12 years old.
Price: $4500

#59 Taser Glove
Standard Electricity
One size fits all snug as a bug glove. Delivers electricity for three seconds before the failsafe shorts it out. Perfect non-lethal pacification device. Not for use near water.
Price: $250

#232 Smoke Bomb
Standard Inhibit Senses + Area Effect + Ranged
Make a quick easy getaway in a cloud of smoke. Confuse an aggressor by shutting down their sense of sight. Chuck this product toward any opponent, and the smoke will fill the room.
Price: $400

Item # 250 Robo Pup Alarm
Standard Danger Sense
It's a tiny metal puppy that will follow you around. It will bark if it detects an aggressive presence anywhere around you. It is very small, try not to step on your new, little robot buddy.
Price: $150

Item #360 Remote Detonation Charge
Superior Concussive Weapon + Area Effect

Set up this bomb anywhere and you can use the detonator from anywhere in a two mile radius. Very dangerous. Lethal shockwaves within thirty yards radius from the epicenter of the explosion. Crippling effects within fifty yards. Comes with a variety of attachments including Cluster Bomb, Fragmentable Shrapnel bomb, and Incendiary.
Price: $5000
Fragmented Price: $5500
Incendiary Price: $6000
Cluster Bomb price: $6000


Item #370 Kangaroo Boots
Standard Leaping
With this product you can clear short buildings in a single bound. Leap higher than you have ever before and land unharmed as long as you land on your feet. Height of the jump depends on the physiology of the person using the product.
Price: $399

Item #378 Ghost Gear
Standard Phasing
Standard Invisibility
Standard Flight
Who doesn't want to be a ghost sometimes. They walk through walls, they float around. They are the line between existing and not existing. With this chestplate you are a whisper, able to move easily through walls, turn invisible, and float just like a ghost. This will not allow you to commune with actual ghosts, this is merely a technological mimic of the effects of undeadness.
Price: $1313.44

Item# 388 Dao Weather Sword
Standard Slashing
Superior Weather Control + Ranged
Each vicious slash of this weapon unleashes a small localized storm of strong winds in a direct line. Wind speeds have been tested at up to 125 miles per hour. Take an assailant off his feet from a distance with the Dao Weather Sword. Disclaimer: This weapon will not imbue a user with sword wielding knowledge. It is as dangerous as any other sword in addition to its wind powers.
Price: $2000

Item #414 Freeze Ray
Superior Cold + Ranged
It's a freeze ray. Using the latest, thermal technology, this ray introduces a wall of ice around whatever target is hit by the bolt. Will not kill people, people under the effects of the freeze ray are simply immobilized until thawed out. They have reported feelings of coldness, but nothing life threatening. Frostbite will eventually set in, however, between 24 and 48 hours frozen.
Price: $1750

#5 Ivan

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Posted 28 June 2012 - 02:20 PM

I'm starting to see that part of the fun of these is the Warnings and Caveats.

#6 Nilan

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Posted 28 June 2012 - 10:38 PM

Item #999 Maks Mace
Supreme Crushing Weapon

Tired of witty arch-nemeses claiming you hit like a girl? Desperate to impress your gorgeous but way-stronger-than-you cyborg date? Or just pitted against some massively armored douche you find impossible to lay a scratch on? Whatever your purpose, whatever your style, the exquisitely designed Maks Mace is now out and ready to come to your rescue at a ridiculously low price! Named after the legendary barbarian himself, this product guarantees to pack a punch and make you the envy of fighters everywhere! With unique grips to protect your palms from impact and an enchanted heavy-end strong enough to crush titanium like toilet paper, who knows what heights you could reach as you flatten mountains and create gales with a casual swing of your new toy? Buy now and become Khazan's new champion!
$84999.99

Disclaimer: The above was only an advertisement and is in no form or shape meant to be interpreted as an endorsement of the conduct mentioned in the marketing of this product. Flattening mountains and creating gales are harmful to the environment and should not be indulged in, unless explicitly requested to do so by the legal authorities. The Pragmatist is not to be held liable for apocalyptic events triggered by any unlawful or unintended use of its goods.

#7 force_echo

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 09:01 AM

Item #998: Overkillotron-9000

Supreme Disintegration, Ranged

Are you tired of having cost effective weaponry? Tired of not being able to completely disintegrate your enemies in a needlessly extravagant way when a simple bullet does the job just fine?

Well, do we have the weapon for you!

Utilizing the mysterious effects of dark energy(?)/magic, this gun can scientifically(?) kill nearly anything! Here's how the completely plausible and non-bullshit science works- The gun is able to create dark energy fields around every individual atom in the target using patented EinsteinPlasmaBosePlankHeisenburgGeorgeLucasCondensateBlackHoleWarpDriveHyperspaceDarwinHelenKellerInterdimensionalRealityBridgePowerOfGodbecausewhatthe*vulgarity* technology! Can ANYTHING with that kind of scientific terminology EVER go wrong?! Anyway, these dark energy fields apparently blow the target apart at the atomic level! Whoopee!

Buy yours today for only 99,999.99!

Warning, This weapon has a 75% chance of exploding in a nuclear explosion, turning everything in a 100 mile radius into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. The same scientists who made this weapon tell us that this wasteland will be mainly inhabited by mutated killer chameleons and awesome Spider-Men of doom. Also, everything in this blast radius will have a 50% chance of gaining superpowers spontaneously. Trololololol.

#8 Pseudonym

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 09:08 AM

You didn't give it a number or a powers list.

#9 force_echo

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 09:12 AM

Fixed

#10 Pseudonym

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 09:15 AM

You should also probably read OP.


Item # and Name
Power Name/s, Level/s, and Modifiers
Description
Price
Where the Price should be based on the number of points spent. Basically a price in the hundreds indicates Standard, a price in the thousands indicates Superior, and a price in the tens of thousands indicates Supreme (The catalog doesn’t list Ultimate level weapons, those are by special order only.) Pretty simple, I think. Here are some examples.

#11 LoneWolf

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 03:59 PM

Sgt. Pepper's Spray... A hallucinogen and inflammatory agent as well? Sounds like a hellish combination. Having experienced OC before, I could safely say that the mixture would be as close to experiencing biblical hell as one could possible come.

#12 Pseudonym

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 12:38 PM

Item #241: Earthquake Glove
Superior Seismic + Area Effect
Shake, rattle, and roll. Knock over everything in your vicinity. Direct a punch down toward the ground and watch the wave tear out in a radial direction around you. Your friends will be knocked off their feet! Small houses and sheds will topple over.
Disclaimer: Striking a person can cause the wave to propagate through their internal organs and do serious damage. Do not strike a person with this product.
Disclaimer: Will not work on air. There is no such thing as an air quake.
Price:$3499.99

Item #375 Sampson Bomb Slugger
Standard Crushing Weapon
Baseball Bat. This product is modelled after the bat used by Nicki Sampson, the most famous athlete is Khazan's glam baseball circuitt. The bat is three feet and three inches of polished black oak treated with a resin that seals the wood in tight for extra strength.
Price: $199

Item #220 Nunchaku
Standard Crushing Weapon
Do you want to feel like a ninja? This weapon is for you. There are two 8-inch rods of iron wrapped in hardened rubber connected by a six inch steel chain. This striking weapon has been used for hundreds of years. Caution: You are very likely to hurt yourself with this product. The swinging end reaches speeds up to 50 mph.
Price: $175

#13 Ivan

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 06:39 PM

Nunchaku
Caution: You are very likely to hurt yourself with this product.


That's the damned truth. My buddy Kyle grew up in Hawaii where his grandpa ran some kind of dojo, and Kyle has played with 'chucks since he was very small. We were camping a few years back and he whips out a pair of metal ones and starts flipping them around like Bruce Lee. Every dude in the circle wanted to "try" them, and because guys in their 20's are kinda dumb, every SINGLE interaction went exactly as follows.

Kyle: *hands nunchucks to next dude* Be careful...
Next dude: Yeah, sure. *other dude swings them around a couple times, then takes a swipe at a tree. The loose end bounces off the tree and slams back into the guy's knuckles.* SHIT! OW. *clutches hand in pain*
Guys in the circle who haven't gone yet: You pussy, let me try.
Kyle: *hands nunchucks to next dude* Be careful...

That happened to five guys in a row, including me. Our logo for the camping trip (drawn in sharpie on our biceps) was a picture of nunchucks with three words underneath: We. Were. Idiots. (I now own a padded pair that I can safely be an idiot with.)

#14 Pseudonym

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 08:30 PM

I kind of want Glam Baseball to be a real thing. I don't know what the rules would be, but all of the players would be scantily clad and the field would be rainbow coloured.

#15 Ivan

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 09:08 PM

Instead of dust in the infield, they have glitter.

#16 treacherous

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 10:31 PM

I still have a nice gash on my chin from Ill usage of nunchucks in high school.

#17 Darkender

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 09:59 AM

:( I never used nunchucks before...

#18 treacherous

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 03:49 PM

Man card please.

#19 Darkender

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 03:55 PM

I'm pretty sure you took that from me on Haven already...

#20 Pseudonym

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Posted 13 May 2013 - 09:52 PM

Item #1111 The Perfect Time Bomb

 

Standard Time + Standard Kinetic

 

Only explodes exactly when it's supposed to. The inner mechanisms are too complicated to explain in this small blurb, but this bomb knows exactly when the optimal time to go off is and then it will. It's the safest possible explosive unless, of course, it's your time to die.

Price: $14,999






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