Posted 13 June 2012 - 09:33 PM
All in attendance stood as Bugs made his entrance from the side adorned in a long black robe. He milked the moment for a minute before finally taking his seat.
“Please be seated,” announced the bailiff.
Bugs Bunny looked from left to right and then did a double take when he realized Mickey and Minnie Mouse were on opposite sides of the courtroom, both attired in business suits. Minnie sat at the prosecution’s table while Mickey was seated in the defendant’s chair.
“Well what do we have here?” Bugs wondered aloud.
“Case 1134B, Minnie For Mothers vs. Mickey Mouse and the Walt Disney Corporation,” announced the bailiff.
Bugs chuckled. “This should be interesting. Are you representing yourselves?”
“Yes, your honor,” answered Minnie. “I know the truth and I am more than qualified to share it with the world myself.”
Judge Bugs looked over to Mickey. “And you? I’m sure Disney has a stock room full of lawyers for situations like these.”
“Yes, they do Judge Bugs. But, I want the the children to hear it straight from me that these accusations against me and the company I represent and cherish are a hundred percent false. It is my honor to represent not only myself but the entire Disney corporation.”
“Well ok then. Let’s get started. Minnie, please proceed with opening statements,” said Judge Bugs.
Minnie organized some notes on her desk. She slowly stood up and walked over to stand in front of the jury. She stared at the ground for a few seconds. She smiled broadly as she looked back up at the jury.
“Once upon a time, I, like many of you, loved Mickey Mouse. I believed that he could no wrong. There was an innate goodness and joy in him that I found very appealing. Everything just seemed brighter when he was around. But recently my eyes have been opened and I am here today to tell you that it is all a facade. In reality, Mickey is a misogynistic mouse possibly bent on the destruction of the nuclear family as we know it!”
Gasps echoed through the courtroom.
Minnie continued. “I know it sounds shocking. Yet, when you think about it everything starts to make more sense. When you look through Disney’s enormous catalogue of colorful characters there always seems to be someone missing. That someone is mothers! What do Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine, and Pocahontas all have in common? Not only are they Disney Princesses, not one of them has a mother. At least not a biological mother. I formed Minnie For Mothers because I realized the psychological damage done to these characters because of Disney’s horrendous misogynistic tendencies. Ariel’s best friends were a perpetually frightened tropical fish and her father’s servant crab. Jasmine’s best friend was a tiger. Belle fell in love with a beast. While on the surface it seems sweet and lovely, the fact remains that she did not know he was human at the time. Such things defy the laws of nature and are clearly not the actions of someone who is of sound mind. Several state shrinks have assured me that such behavior can be traced back to a lack of a maternal figure. We are suing Disney for punitive damages and hoping for a legally binding contract that will force Disney to insert some mother characters into their stories.”
“Objection!” cried Mickey. “Most of the characters mentioned by Minnie were based off of pre-existing characters from folk literature. Their family predicaments can not be blamed on Disney.”
“Then let’s look at some Disney originals,” snapped Minnie. “Bambi, Tod from Fox and the Hound, Koda from Brother Bear, Nemo. All of these poor animals had to endure their moms being viciously killed in their movies, doing certain damage to their young fragile psyches, all at the behest of the woman hating executives at Disney and their star character, Mickey!”
Another round of gasps circled the courtroom.
“Simba would have probably made this list as well except we all know his life is loosely based on Hamlet so the Disney executives had their hands somewhat tied creatively. I am sure Sarabi is grateful for that.”
“Objection!” shouted Mickey.
Minnie spun on her heel and pointed an accusatory finger. “Don’t you dare bring up the dalmatians, Pongo and Perdita. They are just outliers. Not to mention the fact that Perdita nearly died in childbirth.”
Mickey remained quiet.
“It’s certainly an interesting claim you’re making, Minnie. But, you still haven’t stated how this ties into Mickey specifically,” said Judge Bugs.
“I would be happy to answer that, your honor. To do so I would like to call on my first witness. The prosecution calls Tinker Bell to the stand.”
Tinker Bell quickly darted to the witness stand leaving a trail of twinkling pixie dust in her wake. She stood on the Bible as the bailiff swore her in. Minnie waited for the fairy to settle in.
“Tinker Bell, how long have you been with Disney?” asked Minnie.
“Since 1953,” answered Tinker Bell.
“And in that time you have made quite a name for yourself.”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” said Tinker Bell.
“No need to be modest. You have become one of the most prominent icons of the entire Disney empire.”
Tinker Bell blushed.
“Such status must get you into a lot of parties, does it not?” asked Minnie.
“Yes. Many of the top executives invite me often. I think they just want me to sprinkle my fairy dust to liven up the party though.”
“And I’m sure it does. Tinker Bell, would you mind telling the court some of the conversations you overhear while you are at these parties.”
“Sure. They complain a lot. They complain about other companies, about their wives, girlfriends, mothers, and even their secretaries,” Tinker Bell explained.
“Really?” said Minnie.
“Yeah. they also talk about Mickey. Anytime some new movie idea is on the horizon they wonder if Mickey will like it.”
“Why would it be important that Mickey like it?”
“Because he is Mickey Mouse. He is the franchise guy, like in sports. He has the power to veto an idea if he doesn’t like it,” said Tinker Bell. “I heard that he is very particular on what he gives his ok to. He won’t sign off on something he isn’t proud of.”
“Thank you, Tinker Bell. No further questions.”
“Mickey, would you like to cross examine?” asked Judge Bugs.
“You bet I would,” said Mickey.
Mickey approached the witness stand with purpose, but greeted Tinker Bell with his vintage smile.
“Tinker Bell, always lovely to see you.”
“Thanks,” said Tinker Bell.
“My pleasure. Tinker Bell, do you believe that gossip can be a very ugly and dangerous thing?”
Tinker Bell hesitated before answering. “Yes...”
“So do I,” said Mickey. “Because it can lead to things like slander. For instance, someone could say that they overheard of your jealousy over my position. That you secretly want it for yourself. It is not that you are a bad fairy, but it is a wide known fact that because of your body size you can’t balance your emotions very well and being the iconic Disney character that you are, you would have the most to gain by dragging my name through the mud. Of course, I would never believe such awful rumors. I would want to see evidence before believing such a horrible thing which is why I never put too much stock into what other people say.”
Tinker Bell was speechless.
“One more question, Tinker Bell. At these parties that you attended, did you ever once hear me or anyone else say that I despise mothers or females in general?”
Tinker Bell was slow with her response. “No.”
Mickey smiled. “No further questions.”
Judge Bugs nodded at Tinker Bell. “Go ahead and take your seat.”
“Well played, Mickey,” mumbled Minnie. She stood up. “The prosecution calls Huey, Dewey, and Louie to the stand.”
As the triplets made their way to the witness stand, their Uncle Donald had a seizure of emotion in his chair behind Mickey.
“Boys! Boys! What are you doing?!? Don’t go up there!! How can you betray me like this? Betray Mickey?”
As anger spilled out of Donald, his words became incomprehensible and his physical contortions erratic.
“Baliff! Remove that duck! I will not have outbursts like that in my court,” said Judge Bugs.
Huey, Dewey, and Louie slouched in embarrassment as the blue rhino physically removed Donald Duck from the courtroom.
“Sorry boys,” said Minnie. “I’m not trying to cause conflict within your family. In fact, family is what brought you here isn’t it? Why don’t you tell the court about your family life growing up for those who don’t know.”
“Well, we spent most of our childhood with our Uncle Donald and our Uncle Scrooge,” answered Huey. “They were both very kind and generous to take us in. We never made it easy on them. Even Uncle Donald’s girlfriend Daisy has spent some time watching over us.”
“How are you related to your Uncle Donald?” asked Minnie.
“His sister, Della, is our mother,” replied Louie. “Or was our mother. I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“We haven’t seen or heard from her since the 1930s,” explained Huey. “We were just supposed to be visiting Uncle Donald, but we never left.”
“Except for in the late 80s, when we moved in with Uncle Scrooge for awhile,” added Dewey.
“We always have wondered about our mother, but Uncle Donald never wants to talk about it. We thought he was waiting until we got older, but we are older now and still nothing,” said Huey.
The three ducks began to get emotional.
“I remember hearing that Donald is Scrooge’s closest living relative. That would mean that she is.... but we just don’t know,” said Dewey.
“We also tried to ask Mickey about it because Mickey knows everything. But, he is always so busy,” said Louie.
“He’s here now,” remarked Huey.
Louie stared at Mickey. “Mickey! What happened to our mother?”
Mickey appeared visibly uncomfortable.
“I hope we can get an honest answer to that soon. Thank you boys for coming up here and sharing your story. I know it’s not easy.” Minnie looked up to the judge. “No further questions.”
Bugs motioned over to Mickey who shook his head no.
“I think it is obvious what is going on here,” said Minnie. “Mickey has creative control in the house that he built which means there are only two possible options. Mickey is either a complicit partner or the driving force behind Disney’s revolting pattern of countless deaths and mysterious dissapearances of its mother figures throughout its history and even in Mickey’s own inner circle. The prosecution rests.”
Huey, Dewey, and Louie left the witness stand as Minnie Mouse sat down with confidence at her table. Mickey refused to appear shaken.
“Mickey, would you like to take a recess before we continue?” asked Judge Bugs.
“No, your honor.”
Mickey collected himself and rose from his chair. He walked in front of the jurors and turned to face the masses in attendance in the courtroom.
“First of all, I would like to formally apologize to all of you here, including the jurors, and the baliff, and Judge Bugs. This has all been a monumental waste of your time. It is clear that Minnie is angry with me. I am not sure what I did to deserve this venom, but I am saddened that she dragged you all into it. To suggest a conspiracy within Disney against mothers is just ridiculous. Disney has always been and will forever be a family company first. All you have to do is look in a theatre while a Disney movie is playing or visit Disneyland or Disney World to know that I am right. The deaths that Minnie refers to in our movies, while tragic, are purely coincidental. If anything, they speak to the ability to overcome displayed by many of our heroes and heroines. An important trait to teach the children. Answer me this? If Disney hated mothers so much why would we make Ariel a mother herself in the sequel, The Little Mermaid II: Return to Sea, now available on DVD? But you don’t have to take my word for it. You can take the word of someone that no one would accuse of having an ulterior motive. The defense calls Goofy to the stand.”
Goofy clumsily stood up from his chair. He mixed up his right hand and left hand three times during the swearing in process. As he approached the witness stand, he slipped and fell in face first taking out the microphone with him.
Judge Bugs buried his face in his hand. “Baliff, will you please assist the witness.”
Once Goofy became situated, Mickey began to engage him.
“Goofy, how long have we known each other?”
Goofy counted on his fingers. “I would have to say it’s been about eighty years now.”
“In those eighty years have you ever heard me say any disparaging comments about mothers or females in general?” asked Mickey.
“Gee golly no! You are one of the kindest, most generous characters I have ever met. That is why you are my best friend.” Goofy beamed with pride.
“Thanks, Goofy. What about anyone else associated with Disney?”
“Ok. Now I want you to think really hard, Goofy. Can you ever remember a time before just recently where the treatment of mothers was an issue at the Magical Kingdom?”
“No. I can’t say that any occasion comes to mind,” answered Goofy.
“Thank you, Goofy.” Mickey turned to face his accuser. “Your witness.”
“Very predictable, Mickey,” whispered Minnie. She pulled a photo from a manilla envelope. “And unfortunately very short sighted.”
Minnie approached the witness stand.
“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you wear a suit, Minnie,” said Goofy.
“Do you like it?”
Goofy gushed, “Gawrsh, I think you look great.”
Minnie lifted the picture in her hand so just Goofy could see it. “Can you tell me who this is?”
“Why that’s my son, Max. My pride and joy,” answered Goofy.
“Where is Max right now?” asked Minnie.
“Maxie is in college. He was always so smart.”
“You must be very proud.”
“I am. I can talk about it all day if you let me.”
“I’m sure you could, Goofy,” said Minnie. “How does Max’s mom feel about him being in college?”
Mickey let out an audible groan of realization. Goofy’s face dropped.
“Where is Max’s mom, Goofy?”
Goofy did not reply.
“Do you know who Max’s mom is?”
Goofy remained silent. He stared at the ground as he finally answered. “Her name was Mrs. Goofy. She did off camera work during some cartoons in the 50s. No one ever got a chance to see how beautiful she was. My son’s name was Goofy Jr. at the time. I was so excited to have a family. So excited.” Goofy paused. “One day Mickey told me that Disney wanted to focus on other aspects of my character and my family was put on hold. But, he promised me that one day I would get my family back. In 1992, I was given my son back for a new show to be called Goof Troop. Mickey told me that Mrs. Goofy would not be coming back and he wanted me to call my son Max now so there would be no confusion with the cartoons from the 50s. Mickey said we were going to show the world a new kind of family.”
“None of this seemed strange to you?” asked Minnie.
“Gawrsh! Lots of things seem strange to me. But I will always trust Mickey’s judgment.”
“Does Max ask about his mother?”
“All the time.”
“Do you still think about her?”
“All the time.”
The court room was quiet. Goofy lifted his head and there was an unfamiliar expression on it that Minnie had never seen on Goofy. It was genuine sadness.
“No further questions, your honor.” Minnie began walking back to her chair. She tilted her head back and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Goofy.”
Judge Bugs shook his head. He stared at Mickey. “Would you like to call another witness?”
Mickey stood up and sighed. “No. My other witness was forcibly removed from the courthouse. I would just like to say that I know it looks bad, but you have to believe me there is no malicious intent at Disney towards mothers and there is certainly no malice coming from me. If people have learned anything today, I hope it is that although we always put our best foot forward and greet every day with a smile, the characters of Disney have clearly gone through their fair share of suffering. Please, don’t add to it by giving credence to this frivolous lawsuit. The defense rests.”
“Wow! Just wow! You guys have one screwed up operation going on over here. Now it is in the hands of the jury. Until they arrive at a decision, this court is in recess,” announced Judge Bugs.
Posted 13 June 2012 - 09:33 PM
Read more about Minnie Mouse at Wikipedia
Official Site: Disney Links: Wikipedia Disney Archives Disney Wiki
Read more about Mickey Mouse at Wikipedia
Official Site: Disney Links: Mickey Mouse Wikipedia page Disney Archives: Mickey Mouse Judith's Mickey Mouse page
Posted 14 June 2012 - 04:12 PM
Posted 15 June 2012 - 12:47 AM
As for the match, looks like Minnie would win this case, but it's possible Mickey would win the war with his background politics and whatnot.
Posted 15 June 2012 - 10:45 AM
Posted 15 June 2012 - 11:49 PM
DSKillz - I am proud of my back to back 2nd place finishes, and I am certainly trying for the win. I think Treacherous wrote something about a challenge for the champions for sometime down the road which would include all the winners. That is something I would definitely want to be part of. It's probably just going to get harder from here as interest in the challenges grows. Which is a good thing.
Posted 16 June 2012 - 06:31 AM
Posted 16 June 2012 - 08:23 AM
Bambi is NOT an original Disney character. He comes from the book "Bambi: A Life on the Woods" by Felix Salten, which predates the Disney movie. As such, his predicament cannot be blamed on the Disney Corporation.
Todd is NOT an original Disney character. He comes from the book "The Fox and the Hound" by Daniel P. Mannix, which predates the Disney movie. As such, his predicament cannot be blamed on the Disney Corporation.
Pongo and Perdita are NOT original Disney characters. They come from the book "The One Hundred and One Dalmatians" by Dodie Smith, which predates the Disney movie. As such, their predicament cannot be blamed on the Disney Corporation.
Posted 16 June 2012 - 08:54 AM
Sadly, I must vote for Micky. The jury will be more familiar with him and he seems to be better at this than Minnie, and with the backing of the entire Disney Corporation he can't lose.
Posted 17 June 2012 - 12:24 AM
Posted 18 June 2012 - 12:43 PM
Posted 18 June 2012 - 10:15 PM
A Great stuff sir. I hope you win.
A Excellent setup which I enjoyed
Minnie Mouse: 7
Mickey Mouse: 23
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users