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Radical


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#1 Pseudonym

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 07:51 PM

So, this character was inspired partially by listening to a lot of Odd Future myself and partially by The Rookie's submission of Bonfire. Bonfire is a charater named after the most recent Childish Gambino album and is sorta the kind of a lot like Gambino. Young, dumb, full of promise and talent. Great on camera - that sorta thing.

My character is named after the most recent Tyler the Creator album. Fans of Odd Future will spot a lot of shout-outs to the Wolf Gang. The character himself is sorta based on Wolf Haley. So he's a little dark, hyper violent, misogynistic and a total asshole. Hopefully a good addition to the Fallen.

Supreme Body (4)
Superior Strength (2)
Biography

Theodore Crenshaw and his girlfriend sat together in the fires of a burning building. His concentration kept the fires at bay in a swirling vortex around them as they kissed. She smiled and he could feel it. Fire swarmed around the gymnasium, bursting in airborne explosions above the burnt black metal of the basketball hoops.

"Could you turn down the heat a little?" She asked. Theodore ignored her and kissed harder. She pulled away. "Seriously, it's uncomfortable."

"Take off your damn shirt and quit complaining."

"Theodore, stop." Theodore saw his girlfriend's eyes open wide as she realized her mistake. It didn't matter; the bitch had to learn. Theodore stood up, yanking her up by her hair. He stared daggers into her eyes and slammed her against the nearby wall.

"Don't you ever call me Theodore!" he growled through his teeth.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"That's the name my dad gave me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Radical. I'm so sorry."

"If I ever hear that name from you again, I'm gonna do to you what he did to my mom."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

He let go and noticed a huge welt on the back of her arm where he had pressed her against metal. Her fault, he reasoned. She knew his name was Radical. He sighed, lit up a cigarette and then said over his shoulder, "Hey, bitch, we're gonna get something to eat."

Personality

They sat together at a Chinese restaurant. She had ordered a shrimp lo mein. Radical ordered a 'any shit as long as its tasty'.

She took a deep breath. "Radical, we need to talk."

"You need to shut the *vulgarity* up and eat your noodles," Radical said through a mouth full of chicken.

"No seriously, listen to me."

"You aren't breaking up with me." The temperature of the restaurant raised enough that She noticed. "The last person to walk out on me was my dad, and you know how that turned out." Radical reached over and grabbed his girlfriend's uneaten food.

She sighed. " You visited him in jail and set him on fire."

"Burnt that asshole to a crisp."

The sound of sirens outside interrupted their conversation as it had many times in the past.

Powers

Supreme Fire Ranged, Area Effect, Multi Attack (9)

"They're starting to take notice" She said, worried.

"Good, those assholes are listening. They never said shit when I wasn't killing children and burning buildings."


The sound of police voice over a microphone blasted through the walls. "Bonfire, we know you're in there. Come out with your hands up."

"Who's Bonfire?" Radical asked his girlfriend. "He sounds like some kinda faggot." She shrugged.

Radical stood up, motioned for his girlfriend to follow him, and walked outside. There were at cop cars arranged in a barricade around the restaurant. Both doors were open on each and had officers aiming rifles over the tops. The speaker announcement came from a car to his left.

"Do not run. Put your hands in the air."

Radical looked at his girl friend, pulled her close and unleashed a holocaust on Goblin Street. Roaring waves of fire ripped through the street consuming everything in its path. Car tires melted into disgusting smelling black puddles. Flame ate through the skin of the officers who had come. Radical bent the hellish torrent of fire around himself, his girlfriend, and a getaway car.

Radical and his girlfriend piled in. Radical kickstarted the ignition and sped away from the massacre.

"Where are we headed?"

"Storm City. *vulgarity* this Bonfire, poser. Radical needs to make a name for himself in this city."

Supreme Power Manipulation Ranged + Area Effect + Multi Attack (9)


"I- I don't think I can do this with you."

Radical reached over to the passenger seat and caressed his girlfriend's face. "Guess I'll find another then." She reached for the door. Radical burned the eyes out of her head and chuckled, "access denied, bitch." Then he drove on to the Khazan News Network studio.

On the twelfth floor, Chip Goodman was finishing up a story about the humanitarian efforts of the Bravo Sentinels. The audience was applauding politely and laughing at the right points. Chip introduced a video and checked his watch. Thirty more minutes on camera before he could go home to his fiancée. The camera man motioned with his fingers that Chip had forty seconds until he was back on camera. Chip went back to scanning his lines.

There was an explosion in the right wall above the audience. Radical shot in, fire trailing from his hands. There were screams from the audience. Chip could see that a chunk of drywall that had blown in had knocked a woman unconscious. He tried to keep himself under control. He looked down at his microphone and thought about saying something. Then he looked up at the cameraman. There was more carnage in the audience as Radical whipped flame tendrils through the air. Radical looked down and locked eyes with Chip and ran down to the stage. He took the mike and said into the camera.

"Breaking News. I'm here to announce to you a new threat. My name is Radical. I'm here to break things. I am here to kill people. I am here to make sure you know my name. And Bonfire, whoever you are, wherever you are: when I find you I will kill you." Radical fired a radial burst in all directions, setting the room on fire. In the noise and confusion of an audience full of screaming, burning people Radical vanished.


#2 sirmethos

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 08:54 PM

Do me a favor, and change the formatting so it isn't in miniature gray writing.

#3 Darkender

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 02:07 PM

I like the idea for this character, but what you have hear just seems like a taste. It's missing an element that would really make this character good. I would say it's the characters depth. You need to add something to the character to make him more memorable other than he curses alot and is a Type A asshole. Something about his background, or a goal he has, something.

#4 Pseudonym

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Posted 29 March 2012 - 02:01 PM

Anyone? Anything?

@Darkender: I hope to build this character's goals through his climb to fame, fighting a whole bunch of Khazan's other Juggernauts.

#5 The Rookie

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    I like it on Omicron Ceti III, Jim

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Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:59 PM

All the Sin Eaters are based off music artist, was wondering when someone would pick it up!

Also, uh, damn, I was working on a character called "Radical" somewhat loosely based on Odd Future, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD ON THAT ONE

I have to echo Darkrender's assesment: it needs MORE. You got the genesis of a good idea here, just need to fill it out, flesh it out, expand it.

#6 Pseudonym

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Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:31 AM

I just finished actually. I re-wrote the last section to highlight the insecurity and such. The hatred of being overlooked. There will be more coming in Radical's fights.

I didn't know that all of the Sin Eaters were named after music anything, but when I googled Holocene to see if it meant anything, I noticed a band name so that makes sense.

Seeing as I'm doing this Radical, what was yours supposed to be like?

#7 Darkender

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 03:39 PM

The second to last sentence in the second to last paragraph is a little awkward. I'd take a look at that. Also the very last sentence.

#8 Pseudonym

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Posted 17 April 2012 - 04:36 PM

Good eye. Thanks.




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