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Match 10988 Test Character Zero vs. Gamers


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#1 Redemption X

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:03 AM

(NOTE: This is a legal battle between J.K. Rowling and The Rookie. It's NOT a fight between "Test Character Zero" and "Gamers". I choose "Gamers" to represent The Rookie because most FPL users are gamers. PLEASE READ THE DAMN SETUP BEFORE COMMENTING)

After making millions with the "Harry Potter" saga and being loved by most readers, J.K. Rowling has a lot of free time on her hands. So she decides to surf the internet to see what comes up.

One site catches her attention: FPL, Fantasy Powers League. Curious, she clicks on the link.

Browsing throught the fights, she notices one in particular: John Reynolds VS Serif.

The character of "Serif" intrigues her, so she clicks on the bio...and is stunned by what she sees:

"Sarah Serif grew up in Glasgow Scotland where the sky was always gray and the fear of rain was always present. (...) Sarah was always an odd child. She was skinny and awkward and was never very good at sports. She did have an affinity for words and wordplay as a young child though. Her parents said that as a baby she'd often play with word blocks, spelling out things her parents would say like 'budget' and 'debt' just by listening to them. As she grew older she would often challenge her father to games of Scrabble which recently she stared to get the upper hand on much to his chagrin. Sarah would compete in spelling bees and was usually at the top of the ranks, often winning. Her love of books was insatiable. Sarah would walk around, nose in a book, often forgetting what was going on around her."

"That's...that's ME! That's me, right there! I can't believe it! One of these 'FPL Users' used MY life story for one of his stupid characters! And they had the nerve to name me 'Sarah Serif'!" says J.K. Rowling

"From the age of four on Sarah would remember the stories vividly in her mind even though the tales were told from her parent's thoughts rather than from any book. She shouted in joy when the tale of Seamus the Celtic Wordsmith was able to defeat the banshee by summoning a horn to reverse its terrible wail. The stories of the Writer of Blood terrified her for weeks, a man who could control people by simply writing commands into his book. He was defeated by Jason the Righteous, an upstart boy from London who wielded a mighty sword that contained every word in the English language, the Lexicon."

"Those are the stories MY mother used to tell me! Seamus the Celtic Thief, the Serpent of Blood and Jason the Valiant!" says J.K. Rowling, shocked

"The stories continued as a nightly tradition, the tales getting more elaborate as time went on to keep Sarah's attention. On the eve of her tenth birthday her mother finished the latest story she had been reciting to Sarah, the tale of Madame LaChance and how she had to win a game of cards against the evil Pierre Dejardins for the fate of France. Sarah loved the climax as Madame LaChance slipped a blank card in the deck so when she drew it could be any card she wished."

"Madame LaChance...that's the story my mother told me that inspired me to create Fleur Delacour and the Beaxbatons students! How does this guy know so much about me?" says J..K. Rowling

" 'Ok sweetie, this is the last story. Tomorrow you're a big girl so no more.' "

"WHAT? Those were my mother's dying words! How dare he, that bloody internet wanker!" says J.K. Rowling, furious

"Sarah screamed as she stood there looking at the man in black. Party decorations had been strewn about the small apartment as she saw her parents laying there on the ground slumped against the wall. There were no wounds and blood had been spilt but they clearly had been killed, their eyes rolled back into their heads as the man in black began to laugh at Sarah."

J.K. Rowling almost chokes while reading that. This 'The Rookie', whoever he is, not only knows about her life, he also knows about her mother's death and how it made her feel. How she channeled that traumatic moment into the death of James and Lily Potter.

"The man in black flicked his fingers as the books and magazines in the room began to swirl together until they formed a large paper tiger. The papered beast snarled at Sarah, its teeth bared as the girl stood still in terror. She couldn't believe what was happening or why her parents would be murdered like this. All she could o was look into the gaunt face of the man in black.

Suddenly the door to her apartment burst open and another paper tiger lunged at the man in black's tiger. The two beasts snarled and rolled around as a man with wild grey hair, and even wilder beard and shabby clothe stepped through the door holding a large leather bound book.

'Salvador you will not win tonight!' he screamed as he opened his book and began to scribble something on one of its empty sheets. A fist made of ink suddenly appeared as it went flying towards the man in black who simply smirked. From under his black trench coat he pulled out his own book, holding it up as it blocked the fist before he started to scribble something on his book. He suddenly disappeared only to reappear on the window sill.

'We'll meet again Sarah Serif!' he yelled as he jumped out the window. As he did his paper tiger turned into nothing more than a pile of loose sheets.

Sarah ran to the wild haired man as she hugged him tight, her hand clutching his brown ragged clothes as she kept muttering thank you.

'Easy now Sarah come on we got to get out of here before anyone suspects anything.' As he explained this the man scribbled into his book. Sarah looked as she saw the word fix the apartment on 38 Cherry Drive Room 218. When she looked back the mess and debris were all gone and the apartment was back to its state ready for her birthday.

'Mister.'

'Banick.'

'Yes, Mister Banick how did you that.'

'It's simple Sarah, I'm a Wordsmith. Someday you'll be able to do this as well.'

'How will I be able to do this?'

He leaned over and whispered in Sarah's ear. 'Because you're one too.' "

"That's it?" J.K. Rowling thinks "They plagiarized my life just for a silly superhero story? And worse, one that sounds exceedingly similar to my own book series?"

"Sean clutched his chest, he heaved, he tried to pull himself back up but he couldn't. He first saw the book in front of him, sprawled open on the last chapter before a pair of feet appeared. H e looked up at the girl standing above him as she smiled wickedly down at him.

'Saa-Sarah?'

'Hmmm, yes it is. I guess it was a little too obvious to write the protagonist to look like myself but as any good writer does they take from their own life experience.' She starts to walk over to Sean as she uses her foot to roll him onto his back, pressing her heels down onto his throat as he looks up at him.

'Let's get some facts straight before we continue. One you're going to die. Why? Because someone paid me to kill you, plain and simple. Two, how much of that story was based on my own life? Well quite a bit, of course it was made to look a little rosier. Three, yes I am a wordsmith. We do exist as sort of a secret society away from your prying eyes. Four, you might be wondering why you're so weak. Well turns out the ink I use have some special properties. The reader of it has a bit of their own natural energy diminished. Reading it for a while, you barely feel it. Keep reading it, and well, you get to where you're at.'

Sean choked and gagged as he felt the foot dig deeper against him, 'I've only been reading for a few hours!'

'Have you?' Sarah tipped over the glass of milk which had gone sour and chunky as Sean stared at it in horror.

'You mostly did this to yourself though I have had to sneak in every few days to add to the novel but more or less you ignored the calls to your house, answered the e-mails asking where you were and pretty much remained engrossed in my story. It's been a few days now and the muscle atrophy and bone deterioration aren't noticeable but when your heart stops working on man.'

Sean stared up at her as she barely spat out 'why didn't you just shoot me or suffocate me with some pages then you sick bitch!'

'Well, because I am what I am. Believe me if you grew up in my world you wouldn't be normal either. Besides anyone can stab someone with a knife, isn't it more fun to know you died because of a really great story?'

With those words she twisted her heel into Sean's throat as he suddenly slumped dead. Picking up her book Sarah slowly walked out and closed the door escaping into the night."

"WHAT? They made me a villain! A nasty, remorseless, cold-hearted villain! They used my life story, my personal traumas, to create some stupid supervillain for their stupid little fight site! That's it, I'm gonna deal with this guy the same way I dealt with Nancy Stouffer and Steve Vander Ark: I'm gonna sue the hell outta him! The Rookie, whoever you are, your arse is grass! Good thing I have my lawyer's number on speed dial!" says J.K. Rowling

And thus, the trial begins: J.K. Rowling VS The Rookie. J.K. Rowling is trying to prove in court that The Rookie plagiarized Rowling's life in order to create "Sarah Serif", while The Rookie is trying to prove that Rowling is wrong and that "Sarah Serif" is entirely original. Nilan is acting as The Rookie's lawyer.

So, who wins this trial?

#2 Callisto

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:03 AM

Learn More About
Test Character Zero
Official Site: Nobody Links: Site Three Site Two Site One

Gamers
Read more about Gamers at Wikipedia
Official Site: Public Domain Links: Wikipedia Urban Dictionary Major League Gaming



#3 Nova Force Nova

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:52 AM

Kinda hard to judge how a trial will go without knowing who the lawyers are, what the jury's like, who the judge is, etc.

#4 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 04:42 AM

Judge Wapner presides.

Rowling has her usual team of lawyers.

Nilan, as I said, is The Rookie's laywer.

And if you want specifics about the jury, picture the jury from "Runaway Jury" WITHOUT John Cusack's character.

#5 force_echo

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 11:50 AM

Looks like someone's a little butthurt.

#6 Nova Force Nova

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 11:59 AM

Didn't we have a match like this, involving EF members used without their permission? And it got rapidly closed and destroyed and stuff? I think it was DRob's match. Of course, I'm presuming you didn't ask, you might have but I doubt it.

#7 DamagingRob

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 12:50 PM

Didn't we have a match like this, involving EF members used without their permission? And it got rapidly closed and destroyed and stuff? I think it was DRob's match.

:( So sad. I had pretty much gotten the green light to repost that, but never did get an answer from Tarv...

#8 DSkillz

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 01:59 PM

Didn't we have a match like this, involving EF members used without their permission? And it got rapidly closed and destroyed and stuff? I think it was DRob's match. Of course, I'm presuming you didn't ask, you might have but I doubt it.


Heh, that was BlueDream, and I think the post editing ("quacks" :D) had a lot to do with the fact that he himself was added to a match without his permission.

#9 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 02:34 PM

This is just for fun. It's not meant to be spiteful or malicious. I'm not "butthurt". Like Nostalgia Critic using stock footage of Nostalgia Chick in his "Ferngully 2" review.

#10 force_echo

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:14 PM

Drob didn't mean any harm either. Also, why do you keep referencing other sites in relation to EF? EF has its own rules, noone cares about the Nostalgia Critic over here, this isn't "Ferngully 2" (what a dumb sounding name).

#11 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:35 PM

Didn't see any "don't use CBUB users as characters in CBUB" matches rule anywhere.

If you want another comparison, it's like that episode of the 2003 Ninja Turtles cartoon that featured a cameo by the C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa. It was in good fun, so the Moo Mesa producers weren't offended.

#12 DamagingRob

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 03:36 PM

Eh. Mine was closed because I drew too much attention to it. If I had just made it and not made a topic in the Forums, it may have gone under the radar just like this one.




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