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That Glasses-Wearing Roach Girl


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#1 Landon

Landon

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 11:06 PM

Someone I follow on Twitter posted a writing challenge earlier today. It had to be 300-500 words and use the phrase "Her bosom would make you dream." This is the result. It's a dialogue between Landon Hexx and an unnamed buddy of his. Could be anyone he's talking to. Doesn't really matter.

“So I had one of those dreams the other day.”

“What? Where you claim Venusians want to play poker with a deck of Tarot cards for the fate of the Earth?”

“No. The other kind.”

“Where one of your ex’s wants to cook you in a cast iron pot filled with peanut oil?”

“Sorta. Yeah, There was a chick in it. Not a real life ex, but one of those Dreamtime ex’s that you only date in your nightmares.”

“The sort where her bosom would make you dream within a dream, because she’s all hot and stuff, but that dream involves her bosom becoming two snapdragon jaws that rape your belly button?”

“Yeah. Exactly like the dream I told you about last week. Except this time the Dreamtime ex wasn’t mad at me.”

“Wait. What? Since when do you have dreams where you’re on friendly terms with women. Especially women who dared to get to know you?”

“Totally! I was like, “I thought you wanted to flay me last time we met,” and she was all “That was before and this is now and let’s just be friends and forget about all this Apocalypse nonsense,” and I was like HUH?”

“Weird. Are you sure this wasn’t just a regular dream? Like, non-prophetic and non-”you’re entering the dream world” or whatever? Normal people have those kinds of dreams. Maybe you’re becoming normal, man.”

“No way. I don’t dream regular shit. This was for real.”

“So what does it mean.”

“Hell if I know.”

“And you’re sharing this with me because...?”

“Because... I thought you might know?”

“Who was this lady? Most of them have wanted to flay you at some point in time.”

“You remember the one who’s the reincarnation of a roach hive mind from the future?”

“Vaguely. But only because of the hive mind part. You don’t meet many of those. She was the one with the glasses, right?”

“Yeah.”

“OK. Now I know. You rarely make nice with the nerd girls. She was a nice change of pace. Not a bitch. Just out to kill you.”

“I think wanting to kill me at some point makes her a bitch, regardless of everything else.”

“Then every woman’s a bitch by your standards. Also, you’re a sexist bastard. Bastard.”

“I can live with that. So, any ideas?”

“She’s from the future, right?”

“Yep.”

“Maybe she realized that if our plans fall through, her future will cease to exist and she’ll cease to exist and she isn’t keen on non-existence and wants to switch sides?”

“But our plans are worse than their plans.”

“True, but you never told her that, did you? And they never told her that, did they? She just knows that their plans will fuck up her existence.”

“That’s right! We can use her ignorance in our favor. Awesome!”

“Yeah. Right. Yay. Use the hapless roach girl for your own selfish, sexist amusement. Fucking bastard.”

#2 deojusto

deojusto

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 08:34 PM

I thought it was pretty good, you keep a good sense of voice throughout and the dialogue seems real. You kind of have to know a bit about the Landon character before reading it to truly know what they're talking about, but it manages to get a lot out in a few hundred words.




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