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Official Girl Problem Thread


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#21 Darkender

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Posted 17 July 2011 - 10:49 PM

I can quote that song too. If you havin gender problems I feel bad for ya son, I got 99 problems but a tranny ain't one.

*Goes to YouTube*

*Listens to song*

Yea, I thought so. You must've heard a Sri Lanka remix.

#22 Nilan

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Posted 17 July 2011 - 11:14 PM

*Goes to YouTube*

*Listens to song*

Yea, I thought so. You must've heard a Sri Lanka remix.


*Sri Lankan remix

I can only listen to a Sri Lanka remix as much as you can to an America remix.

#23 Nilan

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Posted 17 July 2011 - 11:17 PM

I am consistently attracted to unstable whores. Here is one such anecdote:

I was once best friends with this chick named Courtney- you all know how that goes. She was supremely hot, she thought I was smart and funny, but she just wasn't attracted to me "in that way." We ate dinner together every night, shopped for groceries together, watched movies and cuddled, I talked to her mom on the phone, we were married in her copy of The Sims and she would tell me about improvements she was making to our fake house. We made up songs together, songs with disgusting, hilarious, sexual lyrics, and infused them with well-blended country harmonies. Courtney was desperate for male companionship, she was consistently attracted to older men (she lacked anything resembling a father figure in her life) and most of the guys she dated were ten years older than she was. She would tell me stories of these guys, it all seemed very creepy to me, but I'd genuinely try to be supportive. Courtney consistently described me as a "super-nice guy," and tried to set me up on dates with her fat friends. One night she got drunk and performed oral sex on two of my buddies. Afterward, when it became apparent that I was bothered by it, these guys (who really were good friends) sat me down and spelled it out for me- Courtney was fairly well known for giving blowjobs, I should have already known this fact but was blind to it because I had placed her on a pedestal. I stopped hanging out with her and started hanging out with the boys again. She wound up pregnant and alone. These days when she posts pictures of her daughter on facebook, I can't help but think that little girl is going to grow up and and be just like her mother.


Ivan, if you havin moral problems she feels bad for ya son, she got 99 problems but givin head ain't one.

#24 Confession FPT

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 12:25 AM

I'm gonna kill this girls boyfriend. In the most humorous cartoonish way possible. Any suggestions?
(PS - She probably still won't love me, but at least I'd get to stop hearing about their sexual encounters)

#25 Nilan

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 01:07 AM

I'm gonna kill this girls boyfriend. In the most humorous cartoonish way possible. Any suggestions?
(PS - She probably still won't love me, but at least I'd get to stop hearing about their sexual encounters)


If you havin mental problems I feel bad for ya son, that girl has 99 problems but dealin with a psycho who wants to kill her boyfriend ain't one (hopefully).

#26 LoneWolf

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 01:45 AM

God I'm bored. I want to hear what your girl problems are. My GF calles me all the time when I'm trying to sleep or play WoW... it gets annoying.

#27 Djgambrell

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 01:39 PM

God I'm bored. I want to hear what your girl problems are. My GF calles me all the time when I'm trying to sleep or play WoW... it gets annoying.

I can beat that :) I found the perfect girl but am to afraid to talk to her :P

#28 Shockwave

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:04 PM

Let's see here.....

Me and my current GF broke up 2 years ago, my "friend" told me a bunch of crap about her to the point that I was afraid I was just gonna start swinging and not asking so I avoided her like any sane person avoids pain. She started dating this one guy that was okay at first, I "dated" her best friend. She broke up with me because "Religion is getting in the way." (She's Lutheran I'm Catholic). "Went out" with a few other girls for no more than a few before I broke down and started hiding from society in general. Threw myself into my work and started feeling for this one girl who's in a weird relationship and sees me as a brother. GF and her friend start working at the same place, I start feeling for her again, we get back together.

Wow, I just comprised the last two years of my life into a paragraph. I feel so lame.

#29 Soberguy

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:06 PM

Blah blah blah some ugly girl likes me blah blah blah.

So, is it possible to say no to a girl without crushing feelings?


Probably not, especially if we are talking teenaged here. The only thing you can do is damage control. Just be up front and let her know you think she's cool and everything but you're just not interested in her "that way". She'll either be cool about it or freak out. You can't control it either way so don't bother - and don't lose any sleep over it. Women will react as they will - as long as you don't bullsh*t her or lead her on you're covered.

#30 Soberguy

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:09 PM

I haven't gotten any since I moved out to the West Coast... 2 years ago....

I miss High School and College when it was easy.... :)


The only thing which changes about women as they get older is what they think they want. Adapt and learn, young padawan.

#31 silversurfer092

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:12 PM

Let's see here.....

Me and my current GF broke up 2 years ago, my "friend" told me a bunch of crap about her to the point that I was afraid I was just gonna start swinging and not asking so I avoided her like any sane person avoids pain. She started dating this one guy that was okay at first, I "dated" her best friend. She broke up with me because "Religion is getting in the way." (She's Lutheran I'm Catholic). "Went out" with a few other girls for no more than a few before I broke down and started hiding from society in general. Threw myself into my work and started feeling for this one girl who's in a weird relationship and sees me as a brother. GF and her friend start working at the same place, I start feeling for her again, we get back together.

Wow, I just comprised the last two years of my life into a paragraph. I feel so lame.


I can top that. Past two years of my life:Posted Image

#32 Shockwave

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:14 PM

I'm more into boys convincingly dressed as girls.

Posted Image

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#33 Soberguy

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:16 PM

My advice to you all, dont get attached and assume theyll backstab you. that way you are expecting it.


My advice to you is to get your thumb out of your mouth and ask the last girl you loved for your balls back.

Will women hurt you? They all have that capacity. So what do you do?

OPTION 1: Don't trust any of them and set yourself up for a series of horrible relationships and self-fulfilling prophecies.
OPTION 2: Trust them all and have quality relationships, then for those times you DO get burned, break open the Emergency Dumping Kit (contains: one bottle of Jack Daniels; the phone numbers of your three loudest, angriest friends; a cash reserve to spend on other bitches; one DVD copy of "Swingers" and porn).

#34 Soberguy

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:16 PM

And yes, I'm answering all this nonsense. Buckle up.

#35 force_echo

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:18 PM

My girlfreind won't leave me the *vulgarity* alone. Every *vulgarity*ing week, I go to this barbeque, this church thingy, this freind's house, its insane man. I like her, but I need some space. Oh, and she won't stop *vulgarity*ing texting me, thats the biggest problem, my freinds say that telling her to stop texting me is suicide, but I think ignoring her would probably be worse. Idk man. Idk.

#36 Shockwave

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:19 PM

I can top that. Past two years of my life:Posted Image


Awwwww.....surfer needs to hook up with a girl. Go to the local geek spot. You man find:

Posted Image

#37 Shockwave

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:21 PM

My girlfreind won't leave me the *vulgarity* alone. Every *vulgarity*ing week, I go to this barbeque, this church thingy, this freind's house, its insane man. I like her, but I need some space. Oh, and she won't stop *vulgarity*ing texting me, thats the biggest problem, my freinds say that telling her to stop texting me is suicide, but I think ignoring her would probably be worse. Idk man. Idk.


Here's a tip, turn your phone off or tell her you need some personal time. It worked for me, course she ended up being even more worried when I did call her back.

#38 Marvel Man

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:23 PM

First of all, props to Sober for using his Old Man Logan wisdom. He's helped me in the past, so you should all listen to him.

because "Religion is getting in the way." (She's Lutheran I'm Catholic).

I can totally relate. Except, it was Catholic & Baptist in my case. Actually now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever dated a Catholic girl...

Hmm...

Wow, I just comprised the last two years of my life into a paragraph. I feel so lame.

Hey, cheer up. Most superheros get their entire backstory summed up in a sentence. Congrats!

#39 Marvel Man

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:29 PM

My girlfreind won't leave me the *vulgarity* alone. Every *vulgarity*ing week, I go to this barbeque, this church thingy, this freind's house, its insane man. I like her, but I need some space. Oh, and she won't stop *vulgarity*ing texting me, thats the biggest problem, my freinds say that telling her to stop texting me is suicide, but I think ignoring her would probably be worse. Idk man. Idk.

Use the good old, "My phone is out of battery" excuse, or just leave that thing somewhere. Of course, I realize this might be inconvenient for some, but it beats your alternative. I mean, you're right, ignoring her is insane. If we're talking teen girls here, you're not gonna get on her good side by ignoring her.

MARVEDIT: Also, depending on the girl, you might be able to just talk her into not texting you so much. Still, that's your call.

#40 Soberguy

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:29 PM

I am consistently attracted to unstable whores. Here is one such anecdote:

I was once best friends with this chick named Courtney- you all know how that goes. She was supremely hot, she thought I was smart and funny, but she just wasn't attracted to me "in that way." We ate dinner together every night, shopped for groceries together, watched movies and cuddled, I talked to her mom on the phone, we were married in her copy of The Sims and she would tell me about improvements she was making to our fake house. We made up songs together, songs with disgusting, hilarious, sexual lyrics, and infused them with well-blended country harmonies. Courtney was desperate for male companionship, she was consistently attracted to older men (she lacked anything resembling a father figure in her life) and most of the guys she dated were ten years older than she was. She would tell me stories of these guys, it all seemed very creepy to me, but I'd genuinely try to be supportive. Courtney consistently described me as a "super-nice guy," and tried to set me up on dates with her fat friends. One night she got drunk and performed oral sex on two of my buddies. Afterward, when it became apparent that I was bothered by it, these guys (who really were good friends) sat me down and spelled it out for me- Courtney was fairly well known for giving blowjobs, I should have already known this fact but was blind to it because I had placed her on a pedestal. I stopped hanging out with her and started hanging out with the boys again. She wound up pregnant and alone. These days when she posts pictures of her daughter on facebook, I can't help but think that little girl is going to grow up and and be just like her mother.


I too have a soft-spot for crazy whores, and they are particularly attracted to me as well. There are two main issues here:

1) CRAZY BITCHES: Oh crazy bitches, how we love you! You are intrigung and full of drama and excitement and danger! We want to help you with your problems and you have a pathological need to seek out our attention. Also, you are freaks in the bedroom and often easily sexually available. There is though, brothers, a dark side. The drama and excitement quickly fade into a frightening parade of disturbing life events. What was once "interesting" are now "hideous character flaws". That crazy freaky sex is still crazy freaky, but you suspect you're not the only one partaking of it and that rash just isn't going away. Stay far away, children. Far far away!

2) FRIEND ZONE: Classic friend zone for Ivan here. If any woman gives you the just be friends speech and you still have romantic feelings for her, push the EJECT button immediately. No good can come from staying friends with someone you are interested in. For every girl who eventually comes around and falls for the loyal hound following her around through the friend zone, there are 100 more who just get dragged through the dirt. Show some self-respect and move on boys.




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