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Fantasy Powers League Battles Presents:


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Poll: Doc Velocity vs. Unicorn Boy (26 member(s) have cast votes)

Who wins?

  1. Doc Velocity (11 votes [34.38%])

    Percentage of vote: 34.38%

  2. Unicorn Boy (12 votes [37.50%])

    Percentage of vote: 37.50%

  3. Ermine (9 votes [28.12%])

    Percentage of vote: 28.12%

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#1 treacherous

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 01:22 PM

Here's how this works. These are mini-fics with only one purpose: to see which FPL characters would win in an actual fight. That's right, it's CBUB on the FPL. Feel free to argue for the character of your choice keeping in mind that you are arguing based on who has the better power set. Since this isn't something we normally do on the actual FPL fights, I thought maybe you guys would enjoy this thing I started here: http://www.electricf...showtopic=14855 So, this is Part 1 and after I tally up the votes a week from now, I will write the post fight wrap up. So, read on and enjoy.

A Conspiracy Special Event!!

Posted Image vs. Posted Image

Takes place long before official Khazanian Presidential Elections...

“You have learned your lessons well, Doc. Soon you shall be ready for the Great Hunt…er…um, I mean the Great Challenge.” Ermine chirps. The white haired man-beast sits peacefully atop the head of the famous explorer/dinosaur/AWESOME Doc Velocity. Together they traverse the tall Khazanian Mountain, Spiritual Quest. “Kewl! OMIGAWDWTFAPPLESAUCEBBQ! I'm finally a’ gonna be a STREET FIGHTER!” Doc picks up a nearby acorn and juts her appendages out mimicking a Hadouken attack. She tosses the acorn at a nearby tree, “HASONICBOOOMKEN!” She screams. Ermine chimes in. “Yes, my spirited apprentice. You’re getting it.” He says sarcastically, steepling his fingers evilly and smiling to himself. “Fufufu!” He laughs quietly. He thinks to himself, “Yes, yes indeed. You have far exceeded my expectations as gameful prey and soon I will let you free, hunt you down and slay you like the great beast I am. Fufufu!” he quietly laughs again. “Are you laughing at me?” Doc asks. “No!” Ermine returns. Doc continues walking, blissfully unaware of the weasel/mink-thingy’s nefarious inner thoughts. “OMG! Training is tough. I’m all like UGH. You’re all like TRAIN and deep stuff! I’m all like WHOOOOAAAA DUDE LAY OFF! YOU’RE TOTALLY FRYING MY BRAIN! You’re all like FUFUFU! Whatev’s that is? Now, I’m TOTALLY like DUDE I’M HUNGRY AND STUFF!” Ermine merely leaps from the head of Doc and begins to walk to a nearby tree. “I have no idea what you are talking about, but I do have a special treat for your final lesson. I have hired a special someone to tutor you. If you can beat this instructor, then you should be ready for me to eat…I mean anything!”

“Raptor Fightan Powurz!” Doc yells spontaneously and begins doing something akin to Power Rangers fighting poses. “After this we eatz Colonel’s Buckets!” Ermine smiles. “Yes, after this one of us will eat.” “What?” Doc replies. “Nothing. Continue…uh…whatever it is you do.” Ermine then rests upon the tree. “Our guest should be here anytime.” As he closes his eyes, he notices Doc imitating Karate Kid’s Crane Kick. “That’s right, you just keep on doing whatever it is you are doing there. Fufufu.”

Elsewhere…

A young naked…person walks up silently behind a little old lady. “Help you across the street ma’am?” He/She/Perhaps it asks. The little lady does not look back to see the unclothed…person. “Why yes, that is very nice. What a gentleman you are.” She remarks, lending out her hand for assistance. Immediately she is shoved in the back into the street. Several cars veer to avoid hitting her. She screams as a five car pile up soon ensues. People run to avoid being hit. Some do not succeed. As the man/boy/girl leaps up and down in joy at his actions, several men nearby scream threats at him. While others dial the police, they rush to apprehend him, but he quickly pulls a gun from…you don’t want to know where. They back away, when suddenly he tosses it to the meanest looking man. “Here ya go. Happy shooting.” He then runs to the fretting old woman with his hands in a threatening gesture as if to choke the life from her. “What are you waiting for?” One of the hapless strangers yells. “Shoot it before it hurts her.” He cries. The mean looking guy does just that. Cause he is mean looking and that’s what mean looking guys do; shoot first and ask questions later. Unfortunately, as soon as he shoots, the man/boy/thing is gone. The now stray bullet slams into the chest of the little old lady. Grey haired blood splatters everywhere. She collapses to the ground. A woman screams. “Holy Shit!” Someone yells. “That guy shot that old lady!” Someone else screams. The street, littered with wrecked and burning cars, injured and/or dying victims and one dead old lady, is now set to utter turmoil. In close proximity, Unicorn Boy peeps from behind a building. “That’s just a good old fashion job well done. Good thing I had this great disguise on…” He looks down at his naked form. “…or I would’ve been done for.” With an approving wink and a nod, he exits the scene.

Later, at the park…

As Ermine sleeps and Doc tweets, a young naked boy/man/girl/thing walks slowly towards them. Doc thinks she sees something in her peripheral vision and turns towards it. It is gone. She frowns. "Did anyone just see that? To me, It looked like a Leprechaun to me? If anybody else seen a Leprechaun say YEAH!" She says. Meanwhile, Unicorn Boy blinks back into existence behind the spot where Doc was once sitting. “Yeah!” He whispers. However, she is gone. He looks perplexed. “HIDEY HOLE!” She screams from an undisclosed location. “STALKER ALERT!” She then screams. Ermine leaps up. “Ah, our guest has arrived.” He announces. Climbing up a tree to get a better view, he yells to Doc, “It is time for your final test, little one. FIGHT!” Immediately, Doc leaps from her hidey hole and towards her MP3 player. She hits play and the music from Mortal Kombat begins to play in her headphones. She begins to gyrate in something akin to the Night at the Roxbury dance. Unicorn Boy looks mildy perplexed, but amused. He smiles. “You’re cute. I could just eat her up.” He says to Ermine. “Me too.” Ermine replies.

To be continued based on your votes!

#2 treacherous

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 06:16 PM

Let's kick off this event, shall we. Needz me some debating!

#3 Updatedude

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 09:55 PM

Posted Image

Sister Corn, the answer is always SisCorn!

#4 treacherous

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 04:19 PM

WHOOOAAA!!! SISCORN! SHE/HE/IT LOOKS EVEN MORE COOL THAN UNICORN BOY!! WHOOOAAA!!!

Votes end sometime this weekend...maybe. We'll see. Come on people? Where is the love for two of the most successful characters in FPL?

#5 M Bison

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 04:24 PM

Here's the thing: Unicorn Boy thinks he can teleport about, being all psychopathic and sexually androgynous and all around getting up in Velocitys' face, but he forgets one thing: Doc Velocity is a freaking dinosaur. See, he'll be all annoying and stuff, and she'll think it's funny for a bit, she might stop and tweet maybe, but eventually he's gonna do something dumb, like destroy her phone, and when he does that, he's gettin' eaten.

#6 treacherous

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 04:30 PM

Oh Snap Unicorn Boy/Girl/Thing, you goin' to take that!

#7 ThreeDark

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 04:33 PM

Mercury is the tastiest blood, as Lord Voldemort knows.

#8 treacherous

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 03:45 PM

Hmm, interesting results. Threeway tie means it ends in sex.

#9 deojusto

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 04:21 PM

Hmm, interesting results. Threeway tie means it ends in sex.

And nine months later, Cthulu was born

#10 treacherous

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 04:26 PM

It's a tie now.

Does this not frighten anybody? Look closely at the numbers.

Doc Velocity [ 6 ] [33.33%]
Unicorn Boy [ 6 ] [33.33%]
Ermine [ 6 ] [33.33%]

#11 ThreeDark

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 04:30 PM

The count total doesn't help.

#12 treacherous

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 03:56 PM

This baby is ending Friday. Plenty of votes, but not much talk this time.

#13 deojusto

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 04:20 PM

This baby is ending Friday. Plenty of votes, but not much talk this time.


Last time it was me and Hugo arguing. Threedark and Gigs seem less interested in that.

#14 treacherous

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 04:27 PM

You'd be offended by the amount of things Threedark and Gigs are uninterested in.

#15 ThreeDark

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 04:53 PM

It's more like we have other places that we 'argue'. Even then it's more like we make points, then agree on something and then never do anything about it.

#16 Updatedude

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 10:25 PM

Rar! I disagree with ThreeDark! Rar! Velocity will end up with Prince Chewing Gum, not VVVVV. Rar!

#17 Landon

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 10:52 PM

Real men vote for Ermine. He's a suave, confident, manly man. Unicorn Boy is a fancy-non-pants nudist whose favorite color is EVERYTHING. And Doc? She's a GIRL! Everyone knows dinosaurs can't be girls! Silly fake dinosaur.

#18 M Bison

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 02:37 PM

Silly Landon, assuming we're real men.

#19 treacherous

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 04:25 PM

I'm going to let this vote ride out a few more hours, then poop it's gone. Then to wrap it up.

#20 treacherous

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 08:36 PM

...and done. Looks like the answer is and always will be...Unicorn Boy. Wrap up coming soon.




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