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A Day in the Life of a Character Reviewer

Posted by Marvel Man , 27 January 2011 · 2,802 views

With Marvel Man
Ladies and Gentlemen! This is Marvel's Corner!

Today I dive into one of the hardest jobs on the Internet (and by job, I actually mean volunteering. I have yet to be paid!). The job? Working on the Electric Ferret Site, as an Official Reviewer.

Yes. Every little secret, from the end of the year parties, to the staff only section of the site. If you dislike having your mind blown, don't read this blog!
Today's Topic: Working for serge!

Okay, first up, a quick Q&A from my audience:

Q. There are people who work on the EF site?!

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Treacherous, after a hard Monday morning.

A. Yes. The Electric Ferret site is run by a small army of administrators, moderators, and of course, reviewers. And by army, I mean maybe twenty people (tops).

Q. Sweet! How much do you guys get paid?

A. Oh, serge doesn't pay anyone. Or, if he does, he only pays in "That nice feeling you get for volunteering" currency.

But then again, who wants money? Aren't the best things in life free? So the EF Staff's labor must be the best!

Q. If you aren't paid, why do you work for the EF?

A. I can't answer this for everyone, but I know why I work for serge. He defeated me in battle, but spared my life. As payment, I agreed to come to his site and help review the endless stream of characters.

Q. Yeah... This isn't mindblowing in any way. I'm gonna go see Tarvius's blog...

A. Wait! He doesn't have any posts up yet. Please stay. I'm about to move onto what I actually do in my small corner of the EF. Don't you want to know about how we pick characters to review, and what not?

Q. I'm not really sure I should be answering questions. I am, after all, the Q...

A. Anyways... Let's move on:

Time: 6 PM

Alright, after a hard day of sleeping, reading comics for free at my nearby comic book shop (the trick is to find a quiet secluded spot), and another failed attempt at finding the Cash Cab, I log onto the EF website. At this point, I check to see if any of my questions in the bug forum have been answered (They aren't), before browsing the other CBUB threads.

Time: 6: 15 PM

Having posted my unique brand of Marvel related humor in as many topics as I could, I then browse through the other sections of the forum. The Artsy one, the Electricferret one, and the RP one. Whenever I have to get to the Image section, I quickly scroll past the FPL section (I usually close my eyes and/or hope that the screams of failed writers won't haunt my dreams all night).

Time: 6:20 PM

At this point, there's not much more to do on the forums. This is when the guilt begins to set in. Guilt from my inbox (yes, I realize I should clean that out; as long as I have three free spaces for messages, I won't), and guilt from my many projects. The RPs that died under my eyes. The FPL character that still resides in the deepest part of my Microsoft Word folder. Etc. Rocked to my core by all this guilt, I meditate on what to do.

Time: 6:21 PM

Having gotten over my guilt, I realize that there is still something I can do. I can review characters! Haven't done it in weeks. Still, I'm sure there's one or two characters waiting approval. I need to help out.

Time: 6:25 PM

Four minutes later, and I have filled out the twelve forms required to access Reviewer Controls. I attatch a copy of my birth certificate (as usual), to an email, then sign in with my thirteen letter password. I am then transported to the secret EF Control Room.

Time: 6:30 PM

Here, I brought my camera to the EF Base. Check it out:

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The "serge" Room:

As usual, the room is empty. Still, to speed up his imminent return, there is a stack of cash sitting in the chair (sometimes this causes serge to return).

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The Moderator Room:

I usually run into Tarvius here. He doesn't seem to be here today.

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The Review Room:

As usual, the room is completely empty. I rarely run into another Reviewer. Also, I see that Tarvius and his fellow Moderators are still trashing the Reviewer Room (they always remind us how we're not really "On the EF staff"). I can tell it's Tarvius by the lack of graffiti, which, if present, indicates that a rogue Admin got bored.

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Admin Room:

Speaking of Admins, check it out! I finally got in. Well, not "in" in. But hey, that twenty bucks I gave the bouncer was so worth it. I wonder what it's like when the Admins are in here...

Time: 7:15 PM

Okay, time to get to work. Having had my fun, I go back into the Review Room. Wading through the trash and empty pizza boxes, I reach my desk. A quick prayer to Stan Lee, and an even quicker kiss to the picture of Olvia Wilde I have on desk later, and I am ready to work. This greets me (from today!)

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900 Pictures???!!! Over 100 characters?! What?!

Time: 7:20 PM

Being the biased guy I am, I naturally check the Comic section first. After checking links here, and stating why that character is being denied there, I move onto the odd section. The Pop Culture one. Here, I find Goths being submitted.


After a quick click on all the links, I ask myself what type of matches need Goths? I mean, this is the CBUB! We want interesting fights! Action!

Feeling uneasy about the character, I leave it there for other gutsier Reviewers. I then switch to reviewing images.

Time: 9:00 PM

After a hard hour and a half of work, I check on my progress. To my dismay, there are still tons of images! Why?!

Enraged, I head off to YouTube to watch cute cat videos.

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Ah.... This is what life is all about...

... I will probably review more stuff tomorrow...
That's it for today. This is Marvel Man, signing off.
Until next time, Excelsior!

I myself am an EF Character reviewer!
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Canis Minor
Jan 27 2011 10:54 PM
Actually the screams on the FPL board used to bug me too. Now I can't fall asleep without their woeful moans falling upon my ears. Go figure.Anyway, this was cool, Marv. Now if only you guys could convince people to submit characters they actually intend to use, then you wouldn't have a problem.
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I myself am an EF Character reviewer!

Woo!That makes two of us brother. I kind of wish we had a tag, or usergroup...@ CanisHeh. Indeed. The screams tend to leave at around 4 AM. As for the character submissions, I agree completely. I wouldn't mind reviewing these as much if people actually used them in matches. That would be cool. Sadly, they're still using the same characters...MARVENOTE: There are exceptions...
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I presume the CBUB is kept in the basement behind bars.
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Jan 28 2011 06:43 PM
You have a good sense of humor.
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Nova Force Nova
Jan 29 2011 06:20 PM
Being a reviewer sucks...SO MANY POINTLESS SUBMISSIONS! *wishes for mass deny button*
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