EF Interview: Into the Mind of an Admin
Today, before you lays a never before seen exclusive. A look into the mind of an individual so unique, so entertaining, that he puts us all to shame with his every word. Armed with his unique brand of humor, and a wit sharper than any sword forged by man, this individual now roams the Electric Ferret site as an Admin. But who is this man? How did he become an Admin? Is it true that he has my mother hostage?
Read on my readers. For tis the tale of rags to riches. This is the tale of
Treacherous! CBUBer! FPLer! Admin!
Today's Topic: An Interview with Treacherous
For those of you who don't know Treacherous, 1) What?! How do you not know Treacherous? And 2) I have a short biography ready for you. It'll catch you up and explain some basic questions.
By Marvel Man
I first met Treacherous a few years back. Having wasted all of my fortune, and having been kicked out of most Internet forums for my extreme love of Marvel, I arrived to the CBUB as a young, naive, and lost man. It was during this time that I first encountered Treacherous. At the time, the CBUB was a different being than it is today. There were trolls and multi-accounters here and there, but for the most part, the CBUB was populated by excellent writers who filled the place with wonderful and often entertaining matches. Guys like Granobulax and Boston Celtic, and many more who's names have been lost to the ages. It was during this time, that Treacherous ruled as the undisputed King of the CBUB! The man roamed its halls with the respect of every man, and the heart of every maiden (So, about two girls. On a good day). Treacherous rightfully earned his place at the top through his matches, which were always excellent and definitely set the golden standard. I had the good fortune of reading some. Among these was his "Tournament of Fighters", which, on a separate note, was a tournament in which Iron Fist was eliminated before his time (Why! Why?!).
However, more so than his raw talent, his great personality was what won over many a peer. Indeed, when I was first learning how to use a comma (a skill I have yet to master), Treacherous took me in as a pupil. In the school of hard knocks, I, as well as many other young CBUBers, trained day after day until we could find the vote buttons with a blindfold on. We trained in the coldest days of winter, in the hottest days of summer, and the rainiest days of monsoon season (which totally sucked for our computers). Pretty much all I know about writing came from two sources. Public Education, and Treacherous (But it was mostly Treach).
Anyways, having done everything on the CBUB (and I mean everything. This man's record was as long as Marvel's awesomeness) Treacherous took a bold step into uncharted waters. The FPL.
The beast of the Electric Ferret. The hawk to the CBUB's dove. The part of the site which maintains itself on CBUBers' hopes and dreams. In fact, the FPL was started after serge broke up with his girlfriend, who loved to write. serge, in an act of anger, created a writer's greatest opponent. It fears nothing... It killed Amelia Earhart... It lives in your nightmares...
Knowing this, Treacherous still entered. Oh, what a dark day it was for the CBUB, for it knew, that its favorite son was gone.
Or was he?
Despite all odds, Treacherous triumphed as he always did. Battling through the FPL, Treach rose to Hall of Fame status. His two most famous characters lay below:
Now, flashforward: The times are changing. Looking for new leaders, serge came upon Treacherous. Beloved by all the men, and loved by all the women (and some of the men as well), Treacherous was a natural choice. It was then that Treach transcended into a new realm of power. He was now more than a CBUBer. More than a FPLer. He was... AN ADMIN!
Vowing to lead the CBUB into a new golden age, Treacherous now battles the evils of multi-accounting, trolls, and rampant corruption (or, at least, until the check clears). So, with my pleasure, I agreed to interview Treacherous (I was not at all intimidated into doing this...)
Mother, if you're reading this, I'll save you! I'LL SAVE YOU MOTHER!!!
Q. How long have you been reading comics?
A: Since around Elementary School. My first comics were Power Pack, Alpha Flight (Don’t tell Sober) and X-men.
MM: Ah, what an odd mix. Canada's crime fighters (being Canadian, Alpha Flight mostly battled angry lumberjacks, French Canadians, and the occasional beaver gang), a group of misunderstood but superpowered kids, and the X-Men.
Q. What is your favorite music group? Any specific genre?
A: I am really into an artist named Janelle Monae. She’s so eclectic. I like non-contrived weirdoes.
MM: *Google search* Oh, I saw her on Dancing with the Stars.
... I mean, uhh... I saw it on those ESPN awards...
Q. Do you have any kids?
A: I have a little 2 year old girl.
Still, now the world must wait and wonder if this young girl will turn out like her father. Will she be the next Treacherous?
Q. As a kid, who'd you look up to?
A: My dad. Still do. He’s a great man.
MM: That's nice. Y'know who I look up to?
My mother! What have you done to her?
Q. Is there anything you will debate over on the Internet?
A: I’ll debate anything I know anything about. However, I think I have A.D.D. Debates don’t hold my interest long.
MM: Whether to prove a point or not, Treacherous refused to answer any more questions and instead began to swivel back and forth on his chair.
We had to wait forty minutes before he finally calmed down.
Q. How did you pick your username?
A: It was my name when I left G.I.Joe to join Cobra.
MM: After this, I laughed for a good bit. Throughout the whole thing, Treach just gave me one of those death stares. I quickly surprised him with the next question.
Q. Quick! Your wife/girlfriend can't read this, so answer truthfully. Do you have a celebrity crush?
A: I don’t trust you at all. This has set up written all over it.
MM: See, Treach is just not that trusting.
Note: Mrs. Treach, sorry. I tried. Please don't kill me. I tried woman!
Q. How did you find the CBUB? The EF? The FPL?
A: Serge came down from the heavens and chose me to view it. I did. He was happy.
Q. Were you/are you, a good student in school?
A: Not until college. I hated school. I didn’t see the point until college…then…it was too late.
MM: At this point, Treach broke down. For a while. I'm not joking, it was at least two hours of crying. Heck, the staff and I went to eat at Olive Garden, we came back and Treach was still crying (Don't worry, we got him some breadsticks).
Q. Is there anything you regret?
A: Not seeing the point until college.
MM: It's cool Treach. You have a good future administrating the Electric Ferret. I'm sure the pay's good.
About being an Admin:
Q. What was your first reaction when you were asked to become an Admin?
A: I was a little intimidated. Plus, Cobra Commander wasn’t going to be happy with my many alliances.
MM: ... Is it safe for me to post this? Should I hire bodyguards? I don't want to mess with Cobra. I still have scars from last time...
Q. What have you done to help the EF?
A: Nothing positive. There was that one guy I killed for Iva…I’ve said too much.
MM: Aha! Now we know what happened to all the women and children on the EF.
Q. Have you ever Administrated a site before?
A: Two little sites called the Haven of Wiidom and Writer’s Kingdom. But don’t tell the other Admins. If they knew that they’d drop me like a bad diet. This is a private interview right? Right?
MM: This is true. The Admins follow a strict guide. Through intense bribery, begging, and sheer charm (which I call more bribery), I was able to obtain a few pages. Check em out:
Page 12: General Rules
Now that you memorized our 11 page oath, you are ready to advance to the general rules. Many of these will be explained with greater detail in the next few chapters.
1. You may never ever visit the CBUB. If you do, you will be demoted to a Moderator.
We were joking. If you visit the the CBUB, we will end you. For an depth look at how many ways we can do it, read pages 14-30.
2. You may never ever ever commit a grammar mistake. If you see a fellow Admin commit one, you must quickly edit their post and fix it. If you see anyone else make one, quickly point it out and mock them as best as you can.
3. Bros before hoes. Always.
4. You may never ever ever ever administer a website other than the EF. If you do, you shall lose all your Admin privileges. This includes use of the Admin lounge, use of the Admin concubines, and the tax free Swedish bank accounts.
Q. What are the daily challenges of Administrating the EF?
A: The killings.
Q. If EFers met you in real life, would they be surprised?
A: Yes. Someone once said they thought I was a redneck. I most certainly am not.
MM: Treach didn't help his case much. After this question, Treach made the staff and I listen to Willie Nelson cassettes, watch two hours of NASCAR, and then go hunting with him.
On the bright side, we ran over a deer, which was kind of cool. Well, in a "I finally killed something" kind of way.
Q. Which do you like the most, the CBUB or the FPL?
A: Come on Marvel. Come on. Are you trying to get me kicked out of the Admins?
The CBUB needs you Treach! It needs you!
Q. What is your favorite Official CBUB Match?
A: Goku vs. Superman. Classic
MM: Eh... It lacked enough Marvel characters.
Q. As you know, members run in fear from admins. Is this fear justified, or totally justified?
A: The Admins are harmless. People are really over exaggerating the baby sacrifices and the Conspiracies plot of destroying the world.
MM: You heard it here first boys and (hopefully) girl. Our suspicions were proven right. It is just a matter of days before the Admins rise up and overthrow our government. Hide your kids, hide your wife, etc.
But seriously, when they come for you, try to remember...
I was right!
Q. From the fine halls of the FPL, to the lowly CBUB slums, there have been rumors of multi-accounting running rampant on the site. Is the threat that bad? And if so, when and how will the admins deal with this?
A: Man is inclined to exaggerate almost everything - except his own mistakes. ~Author Unknown
MM: "In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres
Q. My connections inform me that there is an Admin only part of the forum. Is this true? And if so, how cool is it? Is that where all our female members are kept?!
A: Who are your connections? What do they know? Tell me now!!
MM: During the interview, Treach would occasionally state something like this. The situation usually ended like this:
Me: "You'll get nothing out of me!"
Treach: "Bah! That's what they all say! Behold!"
Me: "Haha! Do your best, you mo-... Wait, what's that? What are you doing?"
Treach: "Oh, you mean this autographed but also mint issue of X-Men # ? I'm just looking at it. It's kind of dark here though. I don't want to strain my eyes..."
Me: "No! Put the lighter down! NOOOOO!!!!"
Treach: "Oh man, this issue is way too heavy. I might just drop it unless, I don't know, someone were to hand over their sources..."
Me: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!! AAHHHHH!!!"
Q. What can EF Members do to help the EF?
A: Send me money.
Q What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?
A: G.I.Joe and Transformers
MM: You mean the movies? Wait, they were cartoons?
Q. Do you agree or disagree with that helmet to helmet NFL rule?
A: I think helmets should stick to their own kind.
Q. Have you ever smoked?
Q. Ever had a crazy girlfriend?
A: Better question: Have you ever not…
MM: Even better question: You have the money, now where's my mother?
Q. What type of phone do you have?
A: IDK, it rings a lot.
MM: Ah, yes, I think I know which one you're talking about it. I almost bought the same one.
Q. If you could have any accent, from any country, which would you have?
MM: I am unfamiliar with that accent. It could just be that I'm reading it wrong. The voice in my head speaks in a thick Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
Q. What type of reading material do you read?
A: Comics…the end.
MM: This is why he is an Admin. You guys reading this probably read books, and newspapers. Not Treach though. You've got to admire that.
Q. What do you look for in a woman?
A: Intelligent life.
MM: As in, extra terrestrial? A bit odd Treach. A bit odd.
Q. Do you trust our government?
A: I’m content to live in ignorant bliss.
MM: When asked who our current president was, Treach responded "Jimmy Carter of course... Right?"
Q. What's your favorite movie?
A: I don’t have a particular favorite. I like things with big budgets and explosions
MM: I just like big budgets... In my bank account.
Q. Which do you like more, Marvel or DC?
A: Are those my only choices?
MM: Is there anything else?
I'll just assume Marvel.
Finish this Sentence:
1. The egg came out of the bird?
2. The funniest thing I ever read on the Internet was your screen name.
MM: Oh, haha. Clever. Here Treach, let's celebrate your joke with some delicious, non-poisonous apples...
3. These questions are created by you, so…what can you expect?
MM: Ah! The flaw has been exposed...
4. The average CBUBer is extremely scared of multi accounters that may or may not exist.
MM: May exist? Treacherous is clearly implying there are tons of them! Quickly run for the hills! Abandon all hope, and hand over your women! Let us hope they know mercy...
5. The average FPLer is currently a bunch of CBUBers that don’t get it.
MM: So... Improvement?
6. The Internet is full of porn?
MM: *high five*
7. When my friends forward me funny cat videos on YouTube, I stop being their friends?
MM: Really? Not even the ones where the cat has mittens on its feet?
8. Power needs to be used by me?
9. A bad EF member should be dealt with in the most excruciating way possible?
MM: Wait, you're gonna make us read bad fan fiction?! Noooo!!!!
10. Comics nowadays are all written by Brian Michael Bendis?
MM: This is true in that "OMG! Why is this true?!" type of way.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest...
Q. How smart are you?
A: You really have to add common sense to my smart and even then, I don’t get much higher than a six.
MM: I add in my age and easily pass ten.
2. How cool are you to younger people?
A: If they can take a joke, then I’m great to them.
MM: Treach then told several jokes, all with a Seinfeld voice. It was painful.
3. How often do you read?
A: Whenever I’m not on the computer, working, watching T.V. or supporting a family.
MM: ... So... Is that three or four hours?
4. How much do you like the EF?
A: This much… *holds out hands*
MM: Dang. That's a lot. I only like it this much... *Holds thumb and index finger slightly apart*
5. How cool is the USA?
A: The US is coming to an end of its reign. I’ve got a passport for Canada ready. Look out Soberguy, here I come…
MM: Treach then busted out a big Canadian flag, announced his love for hockey, and chugged a liter of maple syrup.
6. How funny would you say you are?
A: Sorry, couldn’t hear you from all the laughing in the background.
MM: This true. I do all my interviews before a live audience.
Audience during my entrance... I should get riot walls.
7. How much time do you spend on the EF?
A: Too much. Way too much.
MM: ... don't we all...
8. How awesome is Marvel Man?
MM: ... There's no way you didn't understand the question. The correct answer is "OMG! Marvel Man is my hero! He is the coolest guy ever. Marvel for president!", or if you are Olivia Wilde then it is, "I want to make sweet love to him. Then give him tons of money."
Looking for this picture was awesome.
9. How important is grammar?
A: Just important enough for me to be able to understand what you are trying to convey.
MM: Me not understnd!
10. No seriously, how awesome is Marvel Man?
A: That’s going to cost you extra.
MM: More than I already paid?
11. How much do you like the Admins?
A: The admins are good people, despite being blasphemous, cynical, bastiches.
MM: Ah, do you feel the love tonight? (Boom! Elton John reference. And Treach said it couldn't be done...)
Bonus Question: How do you decide what you put in your signature?
A: It doesn't take long. People say the darndest things. I take those things and twist them to my whim
MM: And twist them he does... Like a pretzel.
And finally, is there anything you want the EF members to know?
A: I need you all to know that sending me money through any means is okay. Thank you.
MM: Yes. The bank account is under my name, but... uh... the whole thing is going to Treach...
*Insert interesting fact people would be surprised to know about you*
I’m holding Marvel Man’s mother ransom. Send that money. Heil Cobra!
He's not joking! Help my mother!
Well, this interview was a long time coming, and I want to thank Treach for his patience. Having said that, Treacherous is an amazing admin, doing things most admins don't have the guts to do (Like admit they were ever into the CBUB). The man is always there, ready to help the younger members, while also being able to provide humor and entertainment on a regular basis. Who amongst us can resist smiling as we read his ever changing signature? And while he is often seen in the FPL, he will always be remembered as that guy who used to write awesome CBUB matches. I've been on this site longer than I can remember (so three days, at least), and I can't think of a more trustworthy, funny, and all around likeable guy. Treach, had you not kidnapped my mother, I would still have wanted to inteview you. The EF will always be a fun, and highly nostalgic website as long as you're around. On behalf of all my staff, and the majority of the EF, I'd like to say: