Mid-Ship Misadventures!

contestant En Garde! contestant
The Love Boat
vs.
Sinbad

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THE SCENARIO

Ahoy, matey! Hoist the sails for high adventure as the crew from The Love Boat takes on the Crew from Sinbad in a fight we like to call....

High Seas Cheeze!

THE SPORTS BOX

(We join the program already in progress)

PAT:  ...Welcome back folks! The battle for naval supremacy continues here as Sinbad and the crew of the Sea Dragon close to board the Love Boat! It's a lovely day and we wish you well from the Bay of Khazan. I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. There hasn't been much action up to this point. We've seen the Princess Cruise Luxury Liner try to ram the much smaller wooden Sea Dragon, and we've seen the sorceress Maeve without success try to conjure a water elemental. This look like it's going to be the big enchilada now, though. Any comment Pat?

PAT:  Captain Stubbing and the Love Boat crew have known it would come down to this, Jay. They've been working on their defenses. Pound for Pound, though... Sinbad and crew are the better fighters.

JAY:   Strange Pat, but public opinion has favored the Love Boat all week at the polls. Let's take a look at some response we've gotten.

YOUR OPINIONS

Spencer Howard writes:

Is this a joke????

  • Stubbing with the power to blind everyone in the stadium with that sheen only a head like his could reflect.
  • The brutish yet sly wit of the Doc
  • Isaac had to take to the seas because he is wanted in nine states for battery with a Martini shaker
  • Julie your Cruise Director going into this super charged with the best white Columbia has to offer.
  • Gopher is now a US Senator with the power of the US Military at his disposal.

And the topper!!!!!! It is an Arron Spelling Production... 'Nuff said!

THE BATTLE

PAT:  Hmmmm... Powerful stuff Jay. O.K and we have something going on down in the Bay now. The Sea Dragon has gotten close and the crew of the Love Boat appears to be trying to catapult items at Sinbad's Crew....

JAY:   What's this, Pat? The Love Boat is jettisoning all their has-been guest stars at the Sea Dragon!! There goes Charo...

PAT:  Direct hit with Charo! She just bounced off the Hull, though.... Yet somehow that was deeply satisfying.

JAY:   They've thrown Dick van Patten...

PAT:  There goes Zsa Zsa Gabor! Captain Stubbing of the Love Boat is pulling out all the stops.

JAY:   Sinbad and crew have busted out the grappling lines. They are going to board!

PAT:  The Love Boat has catapulted David Hartman at the Sea Dragon, Jay...

JAY:   Direct hit with David Hartman! He's taken out a mast!

PAT:  The Sea Dragon has lost it's maneuverability.... Captain Stubbing is ordering full power to the princess Cruise ship.

JAY:   They're gonna ram 'em Pat.

PAT:  And the Love Boat has mowed over Sinbad and all his crew! Blood in the water. Well I guess that's it...

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

Final Vote:

Sinbad: 60

Love Boat: 79

THE WRAP UP

JAY:   Hey, come on. Is that it? Is that the whole fight? Don't Cheeze out.

PAT:  Yeah, well.. I have homework to do. Besides it was a cheezy match-up. So... From Khazan Bay I'm Pat....

JAY:   Wait, let me get another line in.

PAT:  Go ahead.

JAY:   ...And sharks are now in a feeding frenzy around the sinking Sea Dragon... Except Maeve teleported away and wasn't harmed 'cause she can do that and she's cute.

PAT:  Are you satisfied now?

JAY:   Yes.

PAT:  O.K, be here next week when Wonder Woman takes on Xena. From Khazan Bay, I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. Good day all.

Special thanks to Nostalgia T.V. for pics used in this weeks bout.

Special thanks to Virus' Sinbad! for pics used in this weeks bout.

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