Presenting a battle with your U.K Guest Hosts Clare and Bob

LAWMEN
ROBOCOP En Garde! JUDGE DREDD
ROBOCOP
vs.
JUDGE DREDD

ISSUE #177

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THE SCENARIO

Judge Dredd. Clone bred from the DNA of the great lawmen of the past to be the perfect law enforcer. Totally uncompromising and merciless, he is the Judge, Jury and Executioner of offenders in MegaCity1.

Robocop. Cybernetic reconstruction of Police Officer Murphy. On-board computer, titanium/Teflon coated body, and is absolutely unwavering in his role as the greatest lawman in Delta City.

Government cutbacks in the Khazan Police Department has left only enough funding for one of these two cops to stay on their books. They have taken it upon themselves to... discuss... who should stay and who should go.

Join us now in a battle we had to call...

You Have The Right to Remain Silent... *BANG*

This fight was home brewed by Guest Hosts Bob & Clare.

THE SPORTS BOX

BOB:   Good evening, Ladies, Gentleman and others to another enthralling contest. We are standing in the city's Shopping Centre awaiting the commencement of this weeks contest, Judge Dredd verses Robocop. A nice day for it Clare?


CLARE:   Not bad at all is it? Word has certainly got round about this one and it's pretty packed here today, either that or there's a sale on somewhere!. Looks like there's quite a lot of off-duty cops in the crowd , as well as a few uniformed officers too. Bet the Donut shops losing a bit of trade tonight Bob!


BOB:  Well, before this fight is over, there'll be plenty of objects with holes in the middle!


CLARE:   Ohhh..bad joke, I donut find that funny Bob! We'll just have to wait and see which one of the Lads of the Law is in for a dunking. HA!..dunking...get it?


BOB:  I...err...think we'll stop right there and get some viewer comments in....

YOUR OPINIONS

Favorite letter of the Week

Fire-Pig writes:

He may no live in a tin can, but he will kill when he feels the need, he does have a cooler gun and he isn't (usually) as cheesy as metal boy. Last weeks battle was a really tough one to call, but it has got to be Dredd all the way for me on this one. Of course it depends on what sort of Dredd you are talking about, if it is the younger one then he will have no problem in dispatching of the robot. Robocop always seems to want to 'take it on the chin' and if he adopts this approach against the LawGiver then he will be neck-high in shit. The only things the Robocop has going for him is his aiming and the fact that his first two films were excellent and the Judge Dredd travesty was nothing more then that - a travesty, however there was the Robocop series. Also if the fight lasts too long an older Dredd would tire with awful consequences. Dredd has the cunning, the weapons and the better run of comics to see him through this one without too much trouble. Also he always manages to escape death even against the toughest foe and Robocop was dismantled by a kid! A final point would be who is more likely to break the law? Both have been programmed to uphold it no-matter what. But Dredd would kill another law-officer if his life was in danger and he ain't likely to have a faulty CPU.




Mr. Silverback writes:

It all comes down to the technical specs, boys and girls. Let's take a look at those onboard command and control systems, on the basis of weight, Operating System, components, designer/manufacturer, computing power equivalent and accomplishments.

   Robocop:   Weight: 		Unknown, size is limited.   OS: 		MS-DOS (I'm not kidding, watch the movie)   Components:	Chips and wiring.   Des/Mfr.: 	OCP, possibly a division of Intel or Microsoft   Equivalent: 	An F-15's combat tracking systems.   Accomp.:	Lot's of mayhem, some good busts.   Dredd:   Weight: 		3.5lbs   OS: 		The human mind   Components:	2 Billion neurons, each a miracle of design on it's own   Des/Mfr.:	God Almighty   Equivalent: 	The Empire State Building stuffed with mainframes.   Accomp.:	World civilization.   

Robocop's electronic brain enforces the law, Brains like Dredd's made up the law, and Robocop himself for that matter. Robo will put up a good fight, but his destiny is to be a cleanup on aisle six this time.




Flynn writes:

The scene: A convenience store, late at night. The bored clerk's reverie is rudely broken by the sudden intrusion of a punk's switchblade. A pointless, brutal death. A quick rifling of the cash box. And a cosmic twist of fate happens to place both Robocop and Judge Dredd on the scene.

Robocop pulls his patrol car over. Through the wall, his infrared vision detects the cooling of the clerk's dying body. Getting out, he strides purposely towards the door. Before he has covered half the distance of the parking lot, Judge Dredd, led only by the instinct of the DNA of a thousand lawmen, tears across the pavement on his awe-inspiring lawmaster cycle. He senses criminal intent, and no door or even wall will slow down the LAW as his cycle bursts through the wall of the convenience store to come to a halt amongst the rubble a mere two meters away from the stunned punk.

As the punk quivers in fear, holding his hands in the air and pathetically babbling his surrender, the Judge intones, "The crime: murder. The punishment: DEATH!" The punk looks into the gaping maw of the Lawgiver pistol, and draws his last mortal breath.

At this moment, Robocop steps smoothly over the rubble to enter the store. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." he says to the punk. "You have the right to remain silent, the-" Robocop's textbook recitation of Miranda laws are interrupted by the thundering boom of the Lawgiver dispensing justice. "He'll be silent all right," says the Judge. "Take him if you want him."

Robocop considers. Inside his CPU, electrons cycle through his primary directives, coming to rest on "Defend the public trust." Facing Judge Dredd squarely, Robocop declares, "You have destroyed property and killed a perp who had surrendered. You are a rotten cop. No man is above the law."

Judge Dredd sneers, "I AM THE LAW. And you aren't even a man. I charge you with obstructing justice."

With a whir, Robocop's leg opens and he smoothly draws his pistol. But another massive boom from the lawgiver knocks Robocop backwards off his feet. With a roar, the Judge guns his lawmaster cycle and he surges forward to run over Robocop as he drives back out onto the street. behind him, Robocop gets up, undamaged, and pursues in his cop car. Using his built-in map of the city, Robocop takes a shortcut and gets ahead of the Judge. Turning back, he faces the headlight of the cycle and guns the engine. It is a game of chicken, implacable man versus driven cyborg. Both vehicles hurtle towards each other. The moment of truth is nigh.

At the last second, Judge Dredd twists a gear on his cycle and it takes to the air, swooping over the hood of Robocop's car, missing by inches. But as it flies past, Robocop fires three times into the underbelly of the lawmaster. Only his reflexes could fire with such accuracy while driving at such speeds. The lawmaster looses altitude, and crashes farther down the street. Judge Dredd rolls to his feet and stands to face this final showdown. Robocop stops, gets out, and walks down the deserted street to face this ultimate challenge.

Without a word, bullets fly. The lawgiver fires 17 different types of ammunition at Robocop, including armor piercing and grenades. Robocop strides out of the flame and explosions with only some nickel-sized dents in his armor. His CPU searches for it's target, crosshairs searching across the data from his visual unit. Despite the smoke, the thermographic vision locks on. His target has taken cover behind a dumpster. Robocop walks over and with an immense shove, tips the dumpster over, pinning the Judge beneath it.

Despite the terrible pain in his legs, the Judge fires again, emptying the clip. Robocop considers for a microinstant. The perp is resisting with lethal force. Crosshairs center. He fires a three-round burst. Judge, jury and executioner is no more. Robocop will continue to Uphold The Law, Protect The Innocent, and Defend The Public Trust.




warrl writes:

this is a tough call, I really like both of these guys but in the end I have to give it to Dread. The law Giver has armor piercing rounds and Robo just dose not have the kind of attitude to get the job done. Dread would execute his own mother if he had one...just for jay walking.




Big Bad John writes:

Well guys, you picked a good fight. Robo has been a fav. of mine for a lot of years but you gotta look at it from some different angles and there are some deciding factors. Now, is this the old Robo or is this Robo with his newest improvements with his left hand interchanging into a smart bomb launcher, machine gun and flame thrower. And does he have the jet pack? But Dredd has mobility and does he have the Lawmaster IV bike? And he has grenades, bigger machine guns than Robo could dream of, and he also has some pretty cool armor. I had to go with Dredd.




Catblade writes:

First of all I've been reading Dredd for several years now and there is nothing that he can't do. And besides he has the kewl motorcycle and the gun that never fails on top of the fact that he has arrested, with the help of his very lovely assistant Psi-Judge Anderson, Judge Death and the other super natural Judges, who important like that has Robocop arrested? Nobody.




Crimson writes:

Judge Dredd. Comic book lug and very uncool movie. Robocop, destroyer of cybernetic horrors which would make Judge Dredd screech like a cheerleader. Nuff Said



The Baroness writes:

Sly played Judge Dredd Peter Wier played Robocop Peter Wier also played Buckaroo Banzai. I hate Sly. I love Peter Wier. End of subject.




WhereWolf writes:

I was really tempted to vote for Robocop... the guy rocks! But he's still held back by morals, and that programming problem that won't let him blast employees of OCP. Dredd doesn't suffer from morality. He'd perforate his own grandmother if she crossed the street against the light. Also, Dredd hasn't made the mistake of producing 2 cheese-sucking sequels




predator writes:

I go with Dredd. I mean the guy is merciless and relentless. He will JUST NOT QUIT! And as for Robocop's armor, Dredd's lawgiver has access to almost any kind of ammo known to man. There's gotta be SOMETHING in his arsenal that will make penetration. And Dredd can do the job quicker. Let's face it, Robocop is slower than heck. Dredd by a long shot.




Phranque writes:

Let me put it this way; if this fight were an action movie, Dredd would be Bruce Willis and Robocop would be, oh...Leslie Nielsen.




'Lord' Rev. Dr. Paul Soth writes:

Dredd, without a doubt. First, RoboCop has too much human emotions, like compassion and mercy. Dredd has no use for these things.

Second, Robo is always malfunctioning, taking personal matters before everything else, such as seeking revenge, finding his family, helping his partner, etc. The only thing that matters to Dredd is The Law, nothing else matters to this man.

Third, RoboCop thinks of himself as Alex Murphy first, RoboCop second. As for Dredd, he is a Judge, nothing else comes second. Fourth, Robo is fixated about his humanity, Dredd could care less about his own.

And lastly, we must take the following into consideration: RoboCop, born Alex Murphy, rebuilt into RoboCop. Judge Dredd, literally born to be the greatest lawman ever. Dredd throws RoboCop off the force for his past behavior of taking the law into his own hands, charges him with Impersonating an Officer of the Law, Possession of Unauthorized Cybernetics, Possession of an Unauthorized Firearm, and other charges. The sentence: Death No one escapes the law.




Snowball writes:

My brother and I agrees... "I am the law!" sounds way better than "Don't move, creep. Dead or alive you're coming with me." C'mon. Murphy was a loser. Now, he's just a loser with a bulletproof body. He still can't do shit, is slower than a... pretty slow thing. Judge Dredd kicks ass, because well, he once killed Santa Claus and shot Rudolf down for invading Mega City One airspace. And then he slew Bambi and took her home to MC-1 for dinner. What's Robocop do? Shoots bottles of baby food. And then eats them. What a pussy...




Penult@riverstyx.com writes:

Robocop has an advantage that Dredd only wishes he had. In fact if you couple the fact that Robocop can actually speak English with his pissed off female partner you come up with more than Dredd's mumbled drivel and Rob Scneider's puny ass could ever handle! Picture this exchange: Robocop: "You're under arrest. dead or alive you're coming with me!" Dredd: "I *AM* the lawwww!" Robocop: Draws, blows Dredd's head off, spins his hand gun around his middle finger, holsters it, then shows said middle finger to the headless corpse of Dredd. The End Freeze Frame Roll the credits as the theme music swells in the background and empty popcorn bags hit the floor as the masses exit the theatre.




LD writes:

I HAVE to vote for Dredd. Robocop is but a hall monitor compared to THE police officer. No matter if this about justice big guns or popularity. Dredd has the edge. He knows how to take care of the creeps, how to blow their heads off with guns as big as his arms and he has the edge with the public too. Move over, Robocop !




MasterManG writes:

Now judging by the picture this is the comic book version of Judge Dredd ( Not that sissy Stallone crap ). The comic version will kick RoboCop's ass! The comic version of Judge Dredd has taken on Batman multiple times! If it was the comic version of RoboCop then I might tip the hat to him, or that version from the RoboCop vs. Terminator game, but from the picture I can tell it's gonna be that sissy ass movie RoboCop. Judge Dredd has to triumph if for no more reason than to prevent a RoboCop 4 from ever coming which in my opinion is a very good reason.




The Immortal Kahless writes:

All I can say is "Get the Judge a can opener."




CyberBoy writes:

No contest, Judge Dread has more experience, a better gun, shows no mercy, fearless, a true cop, better armor, and a lot cooler than Robowimp. I hope Judge Dread dismantles Robocop's sorry armor. I mean Robocop is one sorry hunk of scrap metal compared to Judge Dread. Judge Dread has to fight superhuman mechanical killing machines and Robocop is taken down by small Uzi's and machine gun 'Nuff said




Superfan writes:

Superfan is amazed that this could even be called a fight. I see this confrontation between the merciless embodiment of law enforcement whoop-ass, namely The Judge, against the creepingly slow garbage can with a visor, Robo-Cannon-Fodder, being decided by tactics, agility, and tech. Tactics:

Robocop: "I will stomp around the area in a very obvious manner, making myself an easy target. I will read Judge Dredd his rights before arresting him for having an attitude."

Dredd: "You have been found guilty of Annoying the Law. You have the right to report to a recycling bin IMMEDIATELY." Agility:

Robocop: "I will stomp around the area in a very obvious manner...without bending my knees, attempting to find cover, or move any faster then a pregnant yak."

Dredd: "This is your fine for littering, for being litter, for endangering street traffic by having your junky carcass spread across the road...AND, for Annoying the Law." Tech:

Dredd: "Exactly HOW many centuries ago were you equipped?" Put generously, Robocop is shrapnel on a stick.




The Tucson Coyote writes:

Only Four words guys! I AM THE LAW!




Mr. Maroon writes:

Robocop. I gotta go with Murphy on this one.. Only on account that he actually has a franchise going with 3 movies, and a cartoon series. Judge Dredd, only one movie and it reeked worse then Stallone's comedy "movies". My Gerber Baby Food is on the Robo.




TRANTOR writes:

Come on, this isn't even a fight! Robocop is a sluggish piece of scrap metal against the meanest baddest SOB of the law enforcement future. Not only does Robo have to follow the law (i.e. can't just kill anyone) but he isn't fast enough to stop the Judge. Dredd will eat him alive. The only way Robo wins is if a whole bunch of folks who only know the Stallone version (man was that bad) judge the Judge on his movie appearance and not on his comic book greatness.




Slaanesh writes:

How come no one ever realizes that all you have to do is shoot Robo in the exposed mouth? DREDD RULES. LONG LIVE DREDD.




slug writes:

It took Robocop 3 movies to come up with one bad enough to be on the same level as Judge Dredd! That, in itself, was an accomplishment.




Hoboflop writes:

I give it to Robo because that Judge Dredd movie TANKED.




Achin' Dave writes:

Dredd All The Way. He doesn't need a computer in his head to know what punishment as offender deserves. He IS the Law!




The Match Maker writes:

This is a close one. But in the end I would have to give it to Robocop. He simply has the best armor, and thus can take the most punishment. That and years of reading comics books have taught me one rock hard fact. Nothing good can become of clones!!! It's that simple!! That, and I give you this to think about. Robocop spawned two additional movies and a t.v. series. Not even Sly could bring Judge Dredd back for a return trip to the box office.



THE BATTLE



CLARE:   The rumbling of the ground beneath my size 4's it feels like a Lawmaster... the crowd are parting pretty damn fast....YEP! I spy Judge Dredd and it looks like he's ready to do battle. I can't tell you what kind of mood he's in by looking at him as the man only ever appears to have one facial expression but, going on past records, don't think he's a happy man Bob. A rather large clearing has been made in the middle of the centre and Judge Dredd has stopped in the centre. He's looking around the crowd.. Big bloke isn't he Bob?


BOB:  I bet he has trouble buying clothes!...Viewers, from the other side of the crowd, a large Police Pursuit Vehicle has pulled up...and out steps our second contender - Robocop. Don't these guys' chins look the same Clare?


CLARE:   Scary, but true Bob. Robocop is entering the clearing in his usual slow but steady pace, scanning the crowd for potential trouble makers. Looks like Judge Dredd has spotted Robocop , he's off his bike and staring the metal man down. I can smell the tension coming the crowd from here, or at least I hope it's that!


BOB:  Robo's sensors have locked onto Dredd...they both know one HAS to go because the Police Department budget can't support both.....


CLARE:  .... but which one will it be viewers? I can see Dredd's mouth moving, but I can't make out what he's saying. Any ideas Bob?


BOB:  No Clare, the crowd is too noisy with supporters. We'll have to switch to the floating mikes... "-paragraph two section twelve : No four or more wheeled vehicle is permitted onto a public Shopping Centre. Sentence : 2 years in the cube for starters." Ohh, Dredd's going for it!


CLARE:   For the viewers at home, Robocop has moved to where the LawMaster is parked and is giving it a once over. He's looking at the LawMasters tires.. He's turning to Dredd, lets hear what he's saying.... "- Section 14 of Highway code A12 states that tires must have a tread depth of 30mm. My sensors inform me that your back tire has an overall depth reading of 28.453mm. That's an instant $300 fine or your vehicle will be impounded...creep". That's not made Judge Dredd happy, has it Bob?


BOB:  Uh huh Clare, Dredd's in a fit. He stomps over to Robo's Pursuit Car and draws his Lawgiver....but not at Robo...he SHOOTS a 3-round burst into the front left tire! "Your tire is flat. Highway Code 19 Section 1 Para 3 : No vehicle can be in use while tires are not in a fit state for safe driving. 10 years. Its clocking up Punk."


CLARE:   That's a bit below the belt! Wait a minute, Robocop's moving to the front of Dredd's bike and...HE'S smashed his right fist into the front light and torn off both of the wing mirrors! " Driving with faulty headlights and without the correct mirror requirements under Section 13c of highway Code A11 means the vehicle will be impounded and you will be incarcerated for 2 years...Your move creep."


BOB:  Dredd's thinking......he speaks... "Section 1, Para 1, Judge's Penal Code : Willful damage to a Judge's Lawmaster. 25 years in an Iso-cube." Dredd's smiling folks....


CLARE:   ...and that's not a pretty sight. Robocop is moving towards the car...he's saying something... "Unlawful and illegal expenditure of rounds from a firearm in public area....endangering the lives of innocents and damaging police property...you have broken 7 separate regulations and are a danger to the public. Dead or alive, you're coming with me."


BOB:  Dredd's responding.. "Illegal ownership of cybernetics, threatening a Judge and impersonation a good Police Officer. All this plus 37 years of already outstanding sentences. You're coming with me dead creep. You have been Judged."


CLARE:   Eek!.. Robocop's looks mad.... "You are guilty of the Misuse of Police authority and failure to uphold the law in accordance with proper and standard regulations. You are guilty of the slaughtering of innocents and are a product of genetic manipulation which is currently illegal in this State. Hand over your weapons and come quietly or there will be...trouble."

BOB:  OOO THATS irritated Dredd! "Failing to uphold the Law? I AM THE LAW! And here's a new one : Ugly mugs are prohibited in this city! The sentence MUST be DEATH with a face like that!"


CLARE:   Ohh, what a bitch! Robo's not impressed! "I may have a face like a tin can, but at least you can understand what I'm saying. Section 3b of the Police Entry Application states that NO Law Officer shall have a speech impediment which interferes which everyday duty, this includes mumbling. Beat that punk."


BOB:  Dredd's flapping like a good 'un! "Police Conduct Regulations Section 9 Para 14 states : All Police Officers should be dressed in Uniform at all times when on duty. I've seen no uniform OR clothing of any kind. That constitutes as Indecent Exposure in my books. 90 years in a Iso-cube!"


CLARE:   The crowd have gone quiet...Robocop leans forward slightly... "You are violating Section 24e of the Moral Dress Code by wearing pants that are too tight. You are also guilty on 36 separate charges of not following the true format of the original AD2000 comics when you made the film".


BOB:  Dredd's leans into Robo's face...they're similar in size aren't they Clare? Shhh..he's speaking... "You are grossly guilty of making a film marred by poor special effects and using the same animation techniques as 'Jason of the Argonaughts'..."


CLARE:   Robocop's prodding Judge Dredd's shoulder padding. He's leaned in REAL close.... " You are breaching shoe regulations by having "step ups" built in to make you look taller than you really are. Also, I'm supposed to sound and act like a robot, you're not, and at least I got to make a sequel."


BOB:   Dredd's gone quiet folks.....he's staring into Robocop's eyes......


CLARE:   OH MY Bob!! I see tears! That "shorty" remark and sequel comment has cut Dredd to the core. He's not as tough as he looks!...I think he's realized that there's no way out for him....Dredd's hand is going for his Judge's badge....


BOB:   Hush...he's speaking.... "Guilty as charged. Its a fair cop." He's holding his arms out for the cuffs. Dredd's gone!

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

RoboCop: 285

Judge Dredd: 218

THE WRAP UP

BOB:   So, viewers, Robocop's the premier cop on these streets now. Clare, what is Robocop doing amongst that crowd?


CLARE:   He's arresting them for loitering! Is this guy good or what! Well that's a wrap folks and so it's bye from me and Bob!...O.k Bob, I lost...will you take a cheque??

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

RoboCop (TM) is the property (c) of ?

Judge Dredd (TM) is the property (c) of ?

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

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