The CBUB Character Database


Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable


Shaggy vs. Dagwood vs. Jughead


Boba Fett vs. Batman


Defiant vs. White Star

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine


Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero

ISSUE #115

Robin v. Robin v. Robin v. Robin

ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!


Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix


Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs


Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek


Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn


The Joker vs. The Green Goblin


Borg Cube vs. Death Star

ISSUE #149

Dr. Doom vs. Magneto


Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye


Hulk vs. Doomsday vs. Juggernaut

ISSUE #107

Tom and Sylvester vs. Jerry and Tweety


Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons

ISSUE #106

Nightwing vs. Daredevil

ISSUE #152

Yogi & Boo-Boo vs. Chip 'n' Dale

ISSUE #176

Daredevil vs. Snake Eyes

ISSUE #170

Jason Voorhees vs. Ash Williams


Voltron vs. Power Ranger's Zord

ISSUE #145

Planet of the Apes vs. Star Trek Away Team


Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger


Iron Man vs. Steel

ISSUE #171

Batman vs. Dr. Doom


The Borg vs. Aliens


Elvira vs. Vampirella

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France


Smurfs vs. Snorks


Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #158

Bond Girl Blowout


Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D


Supergirl vs. A-ko vs. Ryoko


Men in Black vs. Marvin the Martian

Beatlejuice vs. The Crow vs.
The Joker vs. The Mask vs.
Pennywise vs. Violator



There Can Only Be One! Yes, the population of Homocidal Clowns has gotten a bit large of late. Seems like every time you turn around there's a new nutcase who wants to turn a funny face into a visage of doom. Well, no more. Tonight... under the Khazan big top... we've got quite a circus for you. Six happy faced psychos step in. One steps out. It's the granddaddy of fun time carnage here in Khazan... and you're invited. Lets look over the contenders.

Beetlejuice: The Ghost with the Most from Beetlejuice. This fun time undead psycho is only too happy to mess with your mind. His ghostly yet wild antics can cause quite a bit of bodily harm though.

The Crow: Undead revenant avenger from The Crow. Seemingly invulnerable, this white faced wraith is quick to show evil that crime isn't funny.

The Joker: Clown Prince of Crime from Batman. He's a maniac who laughs at wholesale destruction. When the Joker is in town, the joke is on you.

The Mask: Wildman crimefighter from The Mask. Smooookin! The green faced freak with the cartoon schtick, he's an unstoppable force of lunacy.

Pennywise: The clown faced fiend of horror from Steven King's It. Feeding on fear, this happy faced entity knows how to liven up a party.. and It knows what scares you.

Violator: The hellish clown from Spawn. He's fat. He's happy. He's evil. With this guy on your side, you don't need any enemies.

Join us now in a battle which is no laughing matter that we had to call... House Of Fun!



Callisto:   ...Yeah, and so I says to her,  Gimme the freakin' Georgio gift set I paid for or I'll gut you right here in front'a God and everybody .

Harley Quinn:   Wow, just like that huh?

Callisto:   Yeah. But the perfume counter girl Continues to be snotty! I couldn't even believe it! I mean, here she is staring down five feet of cold steel, me about to run her through, holding my reciept which says I get a Georgio gift set...

Camera Man:   We're live in five seconds... Four...

Callisto:   ...And she wouldn't give me the gift set! Still!

Harley Quinn:   Oh! Oh! Waitasecond! Was that you? Oh, yeah.... sorry. No, really. You weren't owed a Gerogio gift set.

Callisto:   Excuse me?

Harley Quinn:   Yeah, you had to buy the bigger sized perfume bottle to get the gift. See?

Camera Man:   And we're live!

Harley Quinn:   But you just had to get all Goddess on me and get freaky.

Callisto:   Wait. You mean you work the perfume counter at the mall? That was you without makeup?

Harley Quinn:   Yeah, you know... just a little part-time something to keep my hand in.

Callisto:   Your hand into what? Hey! I did buy the bigger sized perfume! You called security on me!!

Harley Quinn:   Ooopsy. Did I? Hey, I think we're live here.

Callisto:   You owe me a Georgio gift set, clown girl.

Harley Quinn:   I do not!

Camera Man:   Right. Let's move to the viewer mail...




Em Ekahs! writes:

Since all of these beings are from Fictional Non-Reality Bizzaro Happy World where basically anything can happen (the gateway to which is known, on this planet at least, as Hollywood). Because of the very nature of their existance, no matter how supremely powerful any of these beings is, they can be defeated by anything stronger than A Rag Tag Group Of Misfit Kids (Pennywise is the ultimate source of evil in the universe for Chrissake!).

What does matter in this strange alternate dimension, accessed through H'Awwly-Wud, is an actors Badassity factor. Let's look at the contestants.

Michael Keaton: Badass

(Played the original Batman, even if he did lose his way in Returns; Beetlejuice a strong plus, but not particularly hardcore.)

Brandon Lee: Hardcore Badass

(Kung Fu and The Crow, plus direct lineage from Bruce Lee. Step aside, son.)

Jim Carrey - Puss-wah

(The Riddler was... decent, but substandard next to the Joker. Mask and Ventura just real-life cartoons.)

Tim Curry - Major-League Puss-wah

(Take a pick: The butler from Clue or the concierge from Home Alone 2. Plus, cross-dresses in spare time.)

John Leguizamo - Badass

(Shut up shut up shut up. Four words for you: Tybalt, Prince of Cats. Now back off.)

But, in the end...

Jack Nicolson: Ultimate Hardcore Badass

(You need an explanation? Here's a flashlight, find your ass instead. Yes, you can use two hands.)

Maskim Xuul writes:

What is the secret of comedy?


...and that is what will determine this strangely-balanced fight.

By way of explanation, let's take the fighters one by one...starting with the lightweights:

THE CROW: Fast, lethal with weapons and hand-to-hand, heals from most any damage...but our undead avenger has three major disadvantages in this fight:

1. Empowered as a spirit of vengeance, the Crow's powers work only to that end...when he acts beyond that limit, his powers fail him. I doubt that he has cause to avenge himself on ALL of these opponents.

2. A vulnerable avatar in the form of a mortal crow. Several of his opponents will realize the significance of the bird - Beetlejuice and Violator, being supernatural beings themselves...and, of course, the Joker. (More on this point later.)

3. The Crow isn't funny.

One, two, three...goodnight, Mr. Lee. That's what happens when you bring a Crow to a Clownfight.

PENNYWISE: "What, Pennywise a lightweight?!?" Yes, he THIS fight. Because IT - a telepathic, empathic extraterrestrial parasite - fights by manifesting the mortal fears of IT's opponents. If you don't fear IT, IT can't do much to you.

And IT just doesn't have any soft targets here. The Crow and Beetlejuice are DEAD...not much is going to frighten them. Violator is, ahem, A FRACKIN' DEMON FROM HELL. Anything that scares him, would scare Pennywise worse. If the Joker's scared of anything, nobody's figured it out yet...he's too insane. And the Mask is secure in his own invulnerability...almost.

And here's the best chance for Pennywise to get a hit in. Underneath the Mask is a more-or-less normal human, with human fears. My guess is that Pennywise will pick up the weak link quickly, play upon the wearer's underlying fear that the MASK is taking control...driving him mad...he MUST take the mask off before it's too late...

...leaving a normal, confused human standing helpless in the arena. Whereupon Pennywise neatly rips off his head, jams a wooden stick in it, dips it in caramel and hands it to a kiddie in the front row.

Let Pennywise enjoy his moment to shine. Because as soon as the others locate the giant hairy bug-spider (which is IT's physical form - something that I've never quite forgiven Stephen King for), that poor bug is gonna be saddled and ridden around the arena like Teddy Kennedy at a downtown-Boston fetish gala.

THE MASK: This is where TIMING comes in. Because if Pennywise doesn't take out the Mask, I'm not sure who can. Is there an upper limit to his power? CAN he be hurt? I see the Mask and Beetlejuice squaring off in a zaniness duel...and weirding each other to a stalemate. The only way to defeat get him to take off the mask.

...which is then free for the taking...

I will assume that the mask will not work on dead people, demons from Hell (who don't need it anyway), or extraterrestrial hairy spiders. Which leaves...

Does the thought of the Joker with the powers of the Mask frighten anyone? If so, I'm pleased to recommend the graphic novel, "The Joker vs. The Mask." The Joker knows all about the Mask. It was a bad day in Gotham.

BEETLEJUICE: Another heavy-hitter with a weak spot. Can't kill him...he's already dead. Remarkable magical powers, plus a mean streak and a sense of humor. Almost impossible to stop...unless you happen to know the simple incantation that sends him home. Any of the fighters may figure this out...but one, at least, will certainly know it: the Joker. (More on this later...I promise!)

VIOLATOR: The 800-pound gorilla of this fight. If you've forgotten, this is, ahem, A FRACKIN' DEMON FROM HELL. Who likes to rip people - and other demons - to bits. Without a handy Achilles' Heel that you can use to defeat him. WITH a sense of humor. Timing, again...if the others gang up on him early, they MIGHT be able to knock this guy out before he starts turning them all into meat sculpture. If they don't...folks, it is not going to be pretty.

And last but CERTAINLY not least:

THE JOKER: Outgunned? Maybe. Outnumbered? Sure. Outclassed? NEVER.

First of all, the Joker will win the Best Dressed Award, no contest. Guaranteed.

Second, he MIGHT be outgunned...but who knows? This guy is liable to bring anything from a hydrogen bomb to an epileptic emu into the arena with him. And he won't just be gunning for the other five "pretenders"...he'll be targeting the entire audience, as well.

He's got experience, he's got the mad skilz...he's made a career out of toying with one of the greatest analytical minds in the comics world. He is, in his own words, " crazy as a squid on skis." Nobody's been able to cage him or kill him yet.

And he has one advantage that none of the other contestants has (see, I PROMISED I'd get to this later):

The lovely and devoted Harley Quinn. Who knows the profiles...including the weaknesses...of all the other fighters. And probably isn't above a bit of cheating, besides.

In this fight, the Joker remains - as is fitting - the Wild Card.

So, in conclusion, I'd put my money on the Violator...but my vote goes to the Joker, who will out-style anything else in the arena.

Oblivion430 writes:

Been a while since I posted my first comment on Spidey/Wolverine, but I just have to step in here and defend the legitimate right of the one fictional character worthy enough to claim the title of The Clown Prince of Crime. knowledge on the other contestants in this madcap melee of maniacal murder is a bit limited, but it matters little. The Joker is the perrenial paragon of criminal conception (gotta stop with the aliteration...). A nexus of evil and cruelty and unyielding hatred towards humanity, held together and made mobile by a cold calculating mind that brings horrific reality to the immense terror he concocts. It is fitting that he has always been Batman's worst nemesis...for much like his archetype, he has no super powers, nor does he ever need them. As Batman is a human embodiment to the pure will to fight for all that is just, The Joker is a mortal encasement to the inexplicable desire to make the populace of the world suffer. He was one of the rare supervillains that comic book writers even considered allowing to kill a major hero (Robin) back when killing and murder were no-noes for the most part in the comic world. And the fans recognized his candidacy for such a role by telling the writers to go through with it.

Now...lets look at the opposition... a perpetrator of disorderly conduct and sexual offender at his worst, in spite of his supernatural abilities. The only thing going for him in this fight is that he was played by Michael Keaton, which keeps him in the fight for about 15 minutes longer than it would have normally.

Continuing with the spectral contestants...Pennywise, from what I can recall of the movie...was a bad MotherF'er, and was pretty intimidating. But I also seem to recall him getting beaten by a handful of middleaged dredges who couldn't get over their fears as kids.

The Violator is a short, overweight ripoff of The Joker...and as anybody who has ever bought their girlfriend a cubic zirconia for an engagement ring knows....imitations don't last when the chips are down. His big demon form might pose a bit of an issue at first when he Hulks (TM) out, but he's used to outwitting Spawn, who's a perpetual dumbass in my book (no chick is worth ANYBODY'S soul). He'll be humbled by the master in the end.

The Mask is out of this match from the beginning....slapstick is not an equal to sadism. His smile will only get bigger when he starts sucking on Cameron Diaz android filled with nerve gas....

And finally...the only real competition...The Crow. A true good guy, but he falls under the same category as Spawn (Reincarnation only makes heroes depressed and miserable...). His fighting abilities are sharp, as is his will....true good guys are The J's Achilles heal. Nonetheless...this boy isn't in the same league as the Dark Knight,and will be put down thusly.

And if all of that doesn't convince you....look at the actors that played these characters.

John Leguizamo? One Joke Wonder.

Brandon Lee? Points for being the son of the Great One, but benched on account of the fact that HE DIED.

Tim Curry? Flabby English Chap who does decent voiceovers and plays pompous schmucks? Not tall enough for this ride.

Jim Carrey? Overrated as a comedian, and was part of the conspiracy to ruin Batman in Forever...let alone his stint as Truman.

Michael Keaton? Great as the Dark Knight, and great Mom?????

And then...Jack Nicholson.

The Hollywood embodiment of chauvinism, he says and does what most men have only dreamed. Also, the only man who ever played a CONVINCING evil of Stephen King origin in the Shining.

Am I too far off topic?

Anyways, The Joker kills them all in 2 hours 47 minutes....

Muramasa writes:

Let's take a look at each character, shall we?

The Joker - A comedian who swims through some toxic waste and, after his wife leaves him, goes insane, gathers some goons, and commits sadistic crimes, only to be stopped by the world's greatest detective, basically a guy in a Halloween costume with mucho dinero. Joker's a normal human with a psychosis. The best thing he can do is shoot at you.

He'll be the first to go, as he is physically a normal person, and only has a gun, a mallet, and an acid-spraying flower for offense.

The Crow - A guitar playing pretty boy who gets whacked and decides to come back from the dead to get vengeance on the gang who killed him. He's got some acrobatic skills, typical martial arts moves, and guns. He's not much more physically capable than a normal human, but he's completely unkillable unless the crow itself if killed.

He'll be the second to go, because he can only do as much as your typical human action hero, and even though he can't be killed directly, the crow can't survive a battle of this magnitude.

Beetlejuice - A rude, crude ghost who comes up with wacky schemes to rip people off, one could guess he was a car salesman in life. Not much of a fighter, the most he did was scare the living and become a giant snake to hassle some ignorant city folks. Sent back to the underworld by getting swallowed by a sandworm.

He'll be the third to go, because while he has some great supernatural abilities, he's not much of a fighter. Up against one of the demons in this fight, he'll turn tail and run like the coward he is.

Pennywise - As far as anyone can tell an embodiment of evil. Basically a demon. Lots of supernatural abilities. But he tormented kids and later adults who were already scared of him from childhood. Let's face it, he got beat by some schmos with a slingshot.

He'll be the fourth to go, because while in a world where nothing else is different from our own, he seems like an unstoppable force, in a world where a lord of Hell manipulates a government official, he's just another funny looking guy.

Violator - The firstborn of the Phlebiac brothers, he killed his own demon father, welcomed a new master, and sought to rise up the ranks to become the general of his army. We stepped into the big leagues now. While the previous characters regularly fight flesh and blood people, Violator regularly fights a hellspawn who's such a badass he killed Violator's master and was offered his throne. He's had his head cut off and returned to fight again.

He'll be the fifth to go, because he's a resilient fellow and can dish out some damage against human and supernatural alike.

The Mask - Poor, poor Stanley Ipkiss. Working a boring 9 to 5 job and leading a meaningless life, he happened upon a mask enchanted by Loki that turned him into a smooth, wise-cracking, invincible jester who did what he pleased and had the means to do it. There's one important fact about the Mask that makes him the top contender in this battle of laughs. HE'S A CARTOON CHARACTER! He works on CARTOON PHYSICS! He's basically a bloodthirsty Bugs Bunny, who no matter what you do to him, will not get hurt. He can pull a truckload of TNT out of his pockets and stuff them down your throat. He can run like Speedy Gonzales. He can ride a missile up your butt. He has too many ways to win.

The Mask will see victory with a smile.

Darkshifter writes:

Though Beetlejuice has a great weakness, the others don't know that! Why would they say his name three times if they didn't know about the quirky little flaw. Besides, all the "Ghost with the Most" would have to do is but a happy little steel plate over the people's mouths. Bam, no talking! And c'mon! he's already dead! it's not like he's worried about biting the big one. All he'd have to do is use his neatherworld expertise to: kack the joker (Wiping his mouth off would probably do it since the clown prince of crime wouldn't be able to be funny anymore...his worst fear), kack the bird (can you say big mallet?) and off goes the Crow, Take the mask away from the mask (anything the Mask can change into, so can the B-man, hence they'd have a little changing contest probably), and feed Pennywise and the Violater to a Sandworm! Screw that, just shove all off to Sandworm land! end of the battle!

Hey, he didn't become the "Ghost with the Most" by playing fair!

fetus danglin' hobo writes:

it all depends on who fights who first. pennywise , since he feeds off of fear,(although the most powerfull) will have a hard time scaring beetleguise and the violator,(two demons who've seen it all) and might not strike fear in the crow,(he's a force of revenge you know) but old pennywise would make mincemeat out of the other two heavy hitters the joker and double time outta the mask, (keep in mind he was taken down by a little kid with a sling shot, heaven forbid dennis the menace show up)

the violator is about as big a rip off of the joker as spawn is of batman, the joker would ice this tubby doppelganger for that alone

(nothing beats the original) however if the fat little meatloaf wannabe decided the crows crow would be a nice snack, count the crow out. the mask (comic book, not movie) could destroy the violator, but should he be caught with the mask off, the ugly little troll doll gets another kill, and a hell of a lot more powerfull with the mask on.

the crow would only fight those from whom he returned from the dead to kill, and he'd stand a chance if he'd lamanate that bird in adamantium, poke an airhole in and throw it in a saftey deposit box halfway across the globe; no more weakness with the bird tucked away (get your mind otta the gutter) he'd survive, but what could he do to the heavy hitters really?

Beetleguise of cours has the name weakness, and come to think of it, there is that sandworm phobia isnt there? whether its pennywise turning into a big old clown worm and chasing him around the niether world, or smarter adversaries like the joker figuring out the name thing, the juice is better off having a latino song and dance competition with the mask,(which the dirty demon would win,(i mean come on "day-o" rocks) the only way beetleguise wins the fight is if he gets the mask.

and speaking of the mask, who's behind it? the powers amplify your own basic personality and give yo the power to act upon any of your desires, so it is important that it be someone with an appetite for destruction to survive this fight, and not , say mr.Rogers or al gore.

the mask would be a tricky one to bring down with the mask on, but if its off, whoever is behind it is food, thats why the call it "the mask" and not "the guy who wears the mask" assuming he keeps it on, violator gets violated, the joker gets trumped, the crow flies through space, and beetleguise gets squashed.

and the best (or worst) for last, the original gangster clown prince of crime, who can take on batman by his lonesome, and made it cool for clowns to kill people (instead of just funny, like the old days) always the wild card, you never know what the joker is going to do next, or first for that matter, but the outcome is always the same, blood, death and carnage all around, with MR. J dancin' on top of it. he is just an ordinary guy, however, and this smiling posse isnt quite so delicate as batman is while dealing with thier rivals however, any one of them could take the joker down for the count, but do not underestimate the king, the joker is clever and crazy enough to take out this collective of clowns and hang them on the wall in a post-mortem sideshow.either the joker dies right away or comes out on top.

all in all it sounds like a great fight, prehaps missing a few superclowns but the lineup of greats more than makes up for it.

Ivan writes:

The Crow - Mark Dacasco - 1 Saturn Award Nomination

Pennywise- Tim Curry- 1 Emmy Nomination

Beetlejuice - Michael Keaton 1 National Society of Film Critics Award

Violator - John Leguizamo - 2 Emmy Nominations, 1 Golden Globe Nomination, 1 Emmy Win

The Mask - Jim Carrey - 2 Golden Globes, 6 MTV Movie Awards, lots of nominations.

The Joker - Jack Nicholson - 3 Oscars, 3 British Academy Awards, 6 Golden Globes, 6 New York Film Critics Circle Awards, countless other awards and nominations.

Oh, you wanted a real Fight Analysis? Blah. Ok. The Violator is a pushover and will have to resort to the old “Giant CG Demon” trick. Then he gets taken out by BJ and the Mask working together. BJ then gets freaked out by a giant Sandworm (courtesy of Pennywise,) and disappears for the durration. By now The Crow has managed to procure some silver jewelry and an asthma inhaler from some lame, angsty, Goth-weenie fanboys in the stands, and busts a cap in Pennywise (who makes his escape in a sinister looking Ice Cream Truck driven by his brother, Sweet Tooth.) The Mask busts out a flamethrower and toasts the birdie. At this point the security crews find the body of Stanley Ibkis riddled with bullet holes. Suddenly the arena begins to fill with a strange, familiar green gas while the voice of Ira Gershwin rings out over the loudspeakers: “Who’s got the last laugh now?”

Drone47 writes:

Pennywise:Attempts to shapeshift into the worst fears of all his opponents at once, and immediately explodes from the effort.

The Crow:Declares himself winner of the match by virtue of his regenerative abilities, and is promptly dropped into a vat of acid by the Joker(and as any D&D player knows, acid damage can't be regenerated).

The Mask: Turns himself into a tornado to attack the remaining contestants, and accidentally sucks up a roll of duct tape. This leaves him nicely trussed up for...

The Violator: Who chokes to death on the Mask after trying to swallow him in one gulp.

And the winner is.. Beetlejuice! Seriously, did you think the Joker had a chance against a near-omnipotent poltergeist, capable of teleporting the Joker anywhere he likes? Besides, in the Batman movie, the Joker was defeated by Batman, who was played by Michael Keaton, who also played Beetlejuice!

Gothamite1 writes:

It has to be The Joker. He's the first and the greatest. All the others are based on him and are just cheap copies.

Except maybe The Crow. But when he tries to show the Joker the suffering of all his victims The Joker just cracks up and starts laughing. As the Crow see's the suffering of all the Jokers victims all he will be able to do is scream and wet his pants.

Lets not forget the Joker's mind almost destroyed the Spectre. He's the wraith of God so that's no easy thing.

As the rest of the group are fighting each other they notice what the Joker is doing as he takes advantage of the Crow's immortality and starts killing over and over again.

When it comes to power, The Joker is nothing, but if you're judging this fight on insanity then it has to go to the man who killed Robin (as in Batman and...) by beating him to death with an iron bar.

He crippled Batgirl and took photo's of her bloody, naked body so that he could drive her dad insane (shame on you if you haven't read The Killing Joke).

He even poisoned Lois Lane so that he could get Superman to kill him in order to save her life. Joker figured since he couldn't kill Superman then making him break his moral code on never taking a life was the only way to get revenge for not letting him blow up some little kids.

The guy made Carnage wet himself in the Batman/Spiderman crossover.

All Pennywise ever did was scare a bunch of kids and kill a couple others every few years.

As the clowns realise the real depth of the Jokers insanity they just slowly back off letting the Clown Prince have fun.

Lord Dreamer writes:

Pennywise wins hands down!!!! The others all may have their strengths, but Pennywise is the eternal devourer, harvesting the fears of adults, children, animals, and immortal cosmic entities.

Bettlejuice has a morbid, yet dramatic flair; He's undead, but a very weak one. Pennywise feeds off of the fears and thoughts of others (Beetlejuice's vulnerability is known and used immediately).

Joker has a manic psychosis that drives him to try the same foolish failures time after time. Pennywise starts imitating him, forcing Jocker to face himself and his hopeless reality. Once Jocker is trapped within a catatonic state of fearful hallucinations, Pennywise feeds on him at leasure for the next 50 years or so.

Crow is motivated by his anger and rage both of which are the result of fear of his traumatic death and the attack and murder of his wife to be. Pennywise works on these emotions to tear his mind apart and eats the avian crow as a snack.

Mask is a quasi-insane and quasi-immortal comedian, the best way to crush him is to isolate him from his audience, with no-one to watch and enjoy his antics, he has no reason to do anything. Solution, Pennywise attracts then kills off all kids in the audience (or if not allowed to do this, he will mesmerize them and the parents in the audience so that they don't pay any attention to the Mask). Mask melts into a shapeless puddle and retreats back to his miserable life.

Violator is a fairly formitable immortal and demonic character with the ability to regenerate, transport via fire, and make bad jokes and monologs. Pennywise ignores all attacks from Violator until all the others are dead. Pennywise then opens his eyes wide and shows Violator the Dead-Lights of anihilation at the end of existance. Violator has no pure, innocent (and thus powerful) weaknesses or faiths that can be twisted into weapons agains Pennywise's true form. Violator screams in mortal terror (for the first and last time), then ceases to exist.

Jesus writes:

Ok, firstly, the Crow is not a clown, but we'll let that slide. Second, that whole bird getting waxed thing is only in the movie, according to the comics (which almost everyone else has and every other fanboy goes by) he don't leave until his job is done, no matter what, and its hinted that not even then. it's not like he has just a superpower or something, he's there to do a job that he won't stop until its complete, and if his job is to kill these other clowns, than he'll do it.

Draco Starcloud writes:

I'd say this is a toss-up between Violater and the Joker for a few reasons.

1. Pennywise's only power is being a scary weird thing. He's gonna get thumped due to being a big wimp.

2. The Crow looks like Sting, the pro-wrestler. Pro-wrestlers are all talk. Therefore, The Crow is all talk and will get thumped.

3. Someone will just say "Beetlejuice Bettlejuice Beetlejuice." and there goes "BJ".

4. The Mask. He'd normally be a contender, but most of what he does is harmless. THe only tough thing I can think of him doing is shoving large poles up mechanics' butts. *shudders*

5. Ah yes! The Joker! The one man who could shoot down Batman's fancy plane simply using a gun he pulled out of his pants. *shudder* The Joker is very, very evil. He does all kinds of nasty things. I still remember that bomb cake he tried to blow up the mayor with! He's so nasty, I bet he could think up all sorts of tricks for dealing with Violater.

6. Violater is a big, fat clown. That is, until he turns into a giant monster! ROAR! *scares small children* That's pretty much the only way I can think of Violator winning this match. Turning into a monster and eating someone.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Either Joker wipes the floor with them all or the Jester Gundam comes from nowhere and blows them all up.

DAS IST EIN JELL-O JIGGLE?!?!?!?!! writes:

Ze maks and ze violator are autopmatically disqualified, conzidering zer movie eizer sucked, or had John Leguizamo. Nuff zaid. So, indeed, ze only real battle is ze crow, ze Joker, herr pennywise, und das beetle juice. Vreally, ze crow isn't a shrew clown, hence, he is disqualified. Deeto on ze beetle juice. So,j00 have ze one who gave me nightmares, and vwas played by teem curry, or vwas played by Jack Nichols-on, and vwas ze psyco who rid us f ze one known as "Robin". Teem Curry vs. Jack Nicholson...............Dr. Frank-und-furter vs.........ze guy who died in easy rider. Teem curry's goatee vwins! HAHAHA! SCHNEL?! SCHNELL!?! Teem curry betrayed by hees own facial hair! Zen, ze Jack Nicholson is beeeetan by "ze man"'s night stick! Teem Curry's Facial haire all ze way! Bwahahahah! Oh my, vhat a mess, my shinaman partners are coming! I am not gay, I am fancy! Slap you i will, little boy! DAH! Mein haire iz messed up! SIGN ZE PAPER! OLD MAN! noo...... SIGN ZE PAPER OLD MAN! noo!.... ZIGN ZE PAPER OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no........! *ssssssssssssssss* WOW MEEYAN HE JUST PUT THE CIGARRETTE OUT IN THE GUYS EYE?!?!?!

spiney norman writes:

The Joker is clearly the least powerful in this battle. The others are all alligned with trickster gods, the powers of Heaven and Hell, and elder gods. The others are all nearly invulnerable and have a wide array of destructive supernatural powers. The Joker doesn't have a prayer...

Here's how he wins. The Crow and Violater are natural enemies and go after each other right away. Violater has more ray power and begins to overwhelm the undead avenger.

Fortunately, the Mask is even more powerful and correctly guesses who the badguy is here. Pulling out a giant toon mallet he mashes Violater to a greasy spot. (1 clown down)

In the meanwhile Beetlejuice has been running from Pennywise. He may be the ghost with the most but no mere ghost wants to mess with an entity on the level of IT.

These two come careening into Mask and Crow and there is a different pairing off. Beetlejuice and Crow go at it in an evenly matched ghost duel while Pennywise and Mask pull out the big guns.

The big guns work for the Mask who overwhelms IT's envoy with an overwhelming and unpredictable assault. The conflict leaves him drained though, and he staggers back, pulling off the mask to wipe his brow.

Beetlejuice has the Crow on the ropes till the ghost of Shelly apears and whispers something in his ear. With a smile the Crow rises and says "Beetlejuice" three times, banishing the Ghost with the most to the nether regions.

The Crow turns back to the combat to see Stanley Ipcress convulsing on the ground, his face twisted into a horrible grin. Over his stands the Joker wearing the mask!

Mr. J. pulls out a monsterous toon gun and fires it. The Crow flinches, but quickly realized that nothing has come out of the barrel except a sign saying "BANG".

Suddenly there is a real "bang" and the sign is launched to spear the dark spectre's body through! The Joker is the winner and the commentators are left to reflect on the terrible irony of a Brandon Lee character killed by a harmless-seeming prop gun.

D.Merzel writes:

The way I see it

The mask's powers are greater than any other force (no shown limits) in this arena, it has a connection to LOKI's powers, who was a trickster god and father of all the entities that would destroy the world in ragnarock. Makes what anybody else here can do look rather pathetic


Ipkiss always loses the mask. Thus it is open to the individual who can wear it.

Supernatural beings may experience feedback. Only one other mortal out there.

The Joker aka Mr J is the only other person capable of wearing it.

Spell it out, JOKER with MASK unleashes INNER POTENTIAL

There's going to be nothing left but clown shoes out there and a certain gent in a purple tux with a very green smily face and hair

Only question it it the mask or joker who won?

Final question

Where Ronald McDonald? Mr J want's to have a word.

Matt writes:

Joker's winning. Hmm. I'm guessing a lot of people were won over by Harley's argument that the Joker "doesn't get scared."

Read a book, people. I know that Stephen King's IT is big and thick and scary, but you'll live through it. Trust me, the book itself can't hurt you. Well, paper cuts, but...

Anyway, I know that my opinion is far too logical for this website, but here goes anyway:

The fight is taking place in Derry, Maine. How do I know this? Because Pennywise *never leaves* Derry. If they want him to come to the party, they either go to Derry, or they bring Derry to Khazan. Either way, the other five are on Pennywise's home turf, and Pennywise *owns* Derry. Pennywise *is* Derry. He knows where they are at all times (four supernatural beings and the most psychotic person even Pennywise himself has ever encountered? Oh, yes, they show up on his radar like aircraft carriers). Meanwhile, they're watching every drain, manhole, and sewer-grate, not knowing which direction he's coming from...or they're not watching, in which case they die even faster.

Now, as to Harley's argument: Pennywise doesn't have to scare the Joker. He can *own* the Joker. Read the book. Pennywise has thousands of years of experience in possessing the violent and mentally ill. The Joker, being both, is Pennywise's bitch the second his foot hits the runway.

Not long after, the Joker encounters the Crow, who has spent all day killing the redneck residents of Derry, who either don't like the looks of a man walking around wearing make-up ("Get ahta town, pre-vert!"), or either think he has a "purty mouth." The Joker gets out his anti-aircraft pistol, reduces the Crow to a few drifting feathers (having been fed the critical info by Pennywise, who will surely either know about Crows or sense the link).

Now, either the Mask or the Violator could take out the Joker, seeing as how they're both immune to normal weapons. On the other hand, the Mask isn't much for real violence. He dodges, makes his victims dance, etc. Sure, that'll keep him alive against the Joker, but once the Violator has finished skipping rope with the Joker's intestines, he'll be going after the Mask, and I don't think the dance routines will work quite so well against him.

That leaves the Violator against Pennywise. If you've only seen the TV movie, then you might think that the Violator has a chance.


The humans who defeated Pennywise in the book were only able to do so because they were invested with the power of the Other. Somehow, I don't think the Violator is.

The Violator is a mere demon. Pennywise's physical body, even the spider form, is only a tiny aspect of the totality that waits in the Outer Dark. In short, Pennywise is a Thing That Should Not, for example, Cthulhu.

The Violator's taking a little trip into the Deadlights.

In the end, only Pennywise is left standing. The rest...all float.

Dark Queen writes:

Hmmm.... Red nose.... white face.... traditional clown outfit... an ancient evil bent on terroizing children in a small town in Main. That is my winner.

I've seen the movie and I have read the book and I can tell you that this guy has successfully creeped me out. I had to stop reading the book for a day because I got so unnerved, and that never happens to me.

This is a great example of taking something so innocent, a clown, and making it truley frightening. Beetlejuice and Mask are too comical to scare a person, the Joker is a mortal and would easily sucumb to PW antics, Clown would lose becuase he works for Malboja/Satan and we all know that Satan never wins. Now Crow isn't scary, but I would have him as a close second. The only reason I would choose him to loose was becuase you have to consider that the actor for Pennywise was Tim Curry. How can you not give credit to a guy that can scare the pants off you yet make you laugh in a muppet movie?

Exactly my point. Snootchie Bootchies!

X-Dude writes:

Joker all the way! He's the only one who actually got a GOOD Movie AND a win track! He's beaten Green Goblin (I agree with Harley, greenie's a born loser - and don't get me started with the fact that Marvel editors ressurrected him because they couldn't find better villains for Spidey), and was in the First Bat-Movie - the one that DIDN'T suck! But let's start one thing at a time.

The scores of all competitors(From both CBUB and WWWF):

Joker: 2-0-1

Mask: 0-0-1

Crow: 0-0-1

Violator: 0-0-1

Beetlejuice: 0-0-1

Pennywise: 0-0-0 (still a newbie)

Thus, we have an advantage for Joker

J:1 M:0 V:0 P:0 C:0 B:0


As an avid Steven King Fan, I must say that the book "IT" was crude in style - but okay. The movie stinks like Limburgh Cheese as old as Monty Burns - and you're using the movie version. Blech. Joker, however, also has a Steven King connection - and a good one at that. Joker is Jack Nicholson. Jack killed Leo Dicraprio (+1!). Jack is also in the Shining - one SK movie that didn't stink. The Crow movie suck like the Luisitana, The Spawn movie wasn't so hot, and while Mask(+1) and Beetlejuice(+1) were good, they don't hold a light to Jack, who shined brilliantly in Batman I. Joker gets 1 point per movie, plus another for offing Leo. Did I mention that Joker in the Comic Book and Animated Series kicks royal booty(+1)?

J:5 M:1 V:0 P:0 C:0 B:1


One thing that might be pointed out is that Beetlejuice is Michael Keaton, who happened to be the same Batman who kicked Joker's sorry butt. While this might be a point in his favour, Jack "Joker" Nicholson is on another level. A Few Good Men, Batman, The Shining, the list goes on(+1). Pennywise's association with the winning Carrie is dragged down by the losing Cujo, and is partly stolen from him by Joker in the Shining. Pennywise, therefore is tied. Mask is Jim Carrey(-1), who was in Batman Forever(-2) Ace Ventura, etc... For that alone, Joker wants him dead. The rest? I don't know, nor do I care.

J:6 M:-2 V:0 P:0 C:0 B:2

... Final Tally? Joker avoids the match arena, then drops an Army Surplus Nuke. Boom. Not even Pennywise makes it to see another day. another tally for the J-Man...

The Saint writes:

First down is The Crow. Being bnked from all sides by either superior firepower or evil genius, he's out of luck.

Next is Mask. Once Joker realises he's Jim Carrey, AKA the Riddler, he'll yank the mask with a plunger, then offs him, again. Then he takes his nifty mask and...

Dear Lord, what have I done???

Joker, with the MASK???

Screw the Fight. Joker alone is scary enough. Even the Hulk had problems with him. But a Joker-Mask??? Game over. Let's see how the rest of the fight goes:

IT sees a threat in Joker, and tries the deadlights on him. J pulls out a mirror, in whichPennywise sees his movie, as well as the seven snot-nosed nerd-punks it could't beat. It burns up in screaming agony.

Beetlejuice tries to scare J-M, but... well, let's just say that the spirit ends up curled up in a corner, mumbling to itself. NOTHING beats the Joker in terms of Demetia - let alone a super-powered J-M.

Violator, miffed, tries to show how much of a badass he is. No Such Luck. J-M stuffs him in a bazooka and sends him to Teletubby land. Hey, if the cartoon Mask humbled the Devil, Bob, so badly he wound up a second-rate loser villain like everyone else, so can the super-evil J-M. And Violator is a poor excuse for a devil to begin with.

With J-M supreme, he heads back to Gotham city. Sleep Tight, Bats. The Boogeyman/Joker-Mask is coming for you...

"Tim" writes:

Well, first off and foremost, I'm going with Pennywise. I mean, come on, The Joker? Whoever put him in there needs to lay off on the pipe, he's from, well, Batman. That pretty much takes him out of the game.

Meanwhile, we've got the other four. BeetleJuice? Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. That takes care of him.

Now Violater, He might pose a 'bit of a problem. Demonic, hellspawned demons sometimes do. Having little fear, the easiest way for Pennywise to deal with him would be to use the "Deadlights." Infact, that takes care of the Mask and the Crow, too, when you think about it...

Dcsensai writes:

Well lets take a look at the 6 competitors. First we have the Joker. He is an insane chemically altered living human. My prediction is he is going to lose this fight so bad there going to have to bury him twice. Then we have The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss. When he has the mask on he may seem all powerful but when the mask is inactive/not being worn Ipkiss has an even lower survival rate in this match than the Joker. Now we go into the undead combatants. Pennywise is next on the list. While he may have powers over those that fear him Violator, beetlejuice, and The Crow wouldnt fear him so that puts him out of the running. Next to go would probally be The Violator because unlike the other two he can be killed by physical harm to his body. Then it is between Beetlejuice and The Crow/Eric Draven while your thinking that if Beetlejuice kills the crow eric is out of the match while that is true Eric wouldnt have the crow be in the ring with him he would have his feathered friend be on the outer wall in safety. All the eric draven has to do is find out that if you say Beetlejuice's name thrice and the ghost with the most is toast and I am sure that his avian companion would be able to get that much information to him. so in summary the way its going down is: Joker, Mask/Ipkiss, Pennywise, Violator, Beetlejuice, and taking it all is The Crow/Eric Draven for the Win.

Orion writes:

Well this battle is interesting. First off, why is the Joker winning? I mean please, ok he had a shot against the Green Goblin, but against the Mask? The Violater? Pennywise? Even Beetlejuice has more power then the joker. The joker is outmatched this time, this underdog rooting is just plain wrong! The Mask is a fool yes, but he has the powers of a God, he would immobilize the joker with one of his pranks in a sec. Giving him a royal class wedgie or something and then mess up his make-up. Even if the Joker shot him in the face with his, well lets just call it his compensation for him lacking something. >;) The Mask would survive, he is invulnerable, the Joker, and any of the other competitors only hope would be to steal the mask and rip it off his face. If that is even possible now that he hasn’t got his dog or any bystanders to worry about.

The Crow is undead, sure he can take a few bullets, but can he face up against a rocket launcher? I think not. Then we got Beetlejuice, sure he got magical powers but in no way do they compare to the Mask his powers. He can morph the surroundings ok, but the mask can turn into a Supermask or what have you and he would destroy everything in his path. Say bye bye to Beetlejuice. No need to use the stupid name trick, however, knowing the Mask and all he would just use that trick to annoy him and rub it in his face after he had defeated him.

Then we have Pennywise, oh yeah he would win. With him being an inept spider and all, using a little phantom and mystical powers that will have no effect what so ever when you stop believing in them. The Mask would make fun of the phantom and everything that he throws at him. Can a God even be scared? I bet the Mask would just turn into some ESP guy and track the little bugger down, and then turn into military guy and launch a couple of missiles at his lair. Say bye bye to Pennywise.

And then we have the Violator. Can we say; target practise?

I think I have said enough, Pennywise and the Joker will both lose against the Mask.

Supercryptid writes:

I don't know much about the other guys involved in this battle, but I have seen the movie "It" and Pennywise seems to be able to take any form he wishes, which can be a very BIG advantage. Obviously, he can only be seen by people that he allows to see him, so being an invisible attacker also makes him a force to be reckoned with! Of course, we should all know that he could beat the Joker. Come on! The Joker is really just a human. Pennywise could just turn into Batman and beat him, simple.

Eddie Filth writes:

I could see Joker getting the votes soley based on his status as a pop culture icon.However, were dealing with some powerful supernaturals such with Mask,Violator,Eric Draven(not the Crow, the Crow is the bird that brought him back to life) which no acid spitting flower will hurt. I decided to cast my vote for Draven. His supernatural abilities grants him the power to take all the punishment he can take and also seems to have some natural sense of his enemie's weakness ans strenghts. Granted he loses such powers should the Bird be harmed or killed but that would take some serious research on the other guys part.

openly totaly writes:

beatlejuice beatlejuice beatlejuice...(poof) one down. Really with all those crackers spinning jokes you know his names goint to come up at least 3 times in the puns allone.

who is that nasy thing with the teeth...? looks odd/stupid to me.

the clown from spawn, doesn't he qualify as a demon, not realy a clown, i mean, well, i dont know i just didn't like the movie, and i didn't like that character in particular... well the movie was fine, but ill be cast into a barrel filled with guinis if ill vote for him.

that leaves the last 3 who must like the bond girls be taken to the test: character, looks(or in this case joke cracking ability and general coolness), and fighting ability.


character: He's been through alot, pushed into a pool of nasty bits by the dark knight, yadda yadda,insane yadda, really bonkers, yadda yadda, totaly off his rocker, k I get the point and so does he. 1

looks: or genneral coolness and joking abilities. well hes got style... had a smuck of bat jokes, rymes, not that funney, but nontheless he scores. .5

FA: seriosly people hes out classed here, like calisto said, the rest of em got demonic/otherworldly/godly powers, him just a sad boy with a bunch of tough lads looken to start something. 0 points, oh he had a big gun, anybody wonder weather the goo damaged more than his face??compensating maybe??-0.5

total: 1 out of 3


(oh yea!)

character: f*ck ya! depressed, on some outhere vendetta, the wole sad clown thing, poetic sence of justice, yes character is not an issue: 1.5

looks: trenchcoat, permanent neon green/orange lighting, coolest "clown" makeup ever, no a single cheezy line, guitar, crow, cinematic shots, yes definitely cool! 1.5

fighting ability: he's the sone of Bruce Lee!!!! oh yea, the crow thing, well, im shure he could like, send it to his grandmothers or something for the fight. 1.5 (where is the damn nunchuca??!)

total: 4.5!!! out of 3


character, yes, and well ya ok ill give it too him, loki and all that, shure fine whatever. 1 point

looks: the coolest of the bunch(well except for birdy boy), and the funniest of the bunch he scores major here. 2 points!!

fighting ability: well with that mask on he's damb fine at not getting hurt, however he does patheticly little on the offensive, pluss he has that anoying habit of takeing the fool thing off. .5 points

total: 3.5 ! out of three.

the crow sticks his bird in some safe spot befor the fight and opens up some major cung fuo whoop ass.

the crow to win.

The Bunyip writes:

The fact that the Joker is winning proves once and for all that Electric Ferret is being overruns by idiots.

The Joker...THE FREAKING JOKER! The most overrated character in comic books today, PERIOD. The villain who made deus ex machina a staple of DC comics is NOT the badass you all seem to think he is.

What's the joker got? Money, brains, firepower and henchmen. Let's see how this rates against the competition:

The Crow: demolishes henchmen, overcomes brains with special effects, ignores firepower, doesn't NEED money.

Pennywise: okay, fine, the Joker would take him out in five minutes, granted.

Beetlejuice: Okay, I think the Joker could beat him too. Intrigued with the name, Joker repeats it three times just to make sure he gets it right, nullifying BJ (The Michael Keaton - Batman factor can't save him).

Violator: ignores firepower, enjoys the taste of henchmen, controls other people's money, and has the lords of Hell provide all the brains he needs.

The Mask - The CLEAR winner here. Incorporates others' firepower, brains, henchmen and money into his own act, ignores the laws of physics (anime or otherwise) because he can, and he's a freaking bound Norse deity.

The Joker wouldn't last ten seconds as soon as his toys and henchmen run out - why else does he always run from Batman?

The Bunyip writes:

A note to all you twits voting for Pennywise -

Did you all forget that this site is called COMIC BOOK UNIVERSE Battles - as in the idea that the rules of the game are the rules in comic books?

Would a Steven King creation last more than a few seconds in the Marvel, DC or Image comic realms? I think not. Okay, Pennywise is a badass - when he's fighting KIDS! Give me a break! The Great Lakes Avengers could smack him down.

My vote for biggest clown goes to the collective CBUB fans who voted for Pennywise.




Callisto:   Hello and Welcome back! Yes, it's a floppy shoed battle to the death here, this week as Clown takes on Clown for the final laugh.

Harley Quinn:   The Arena has been outfitted to look like a three ring circus. We got a trapeeze down there, some barrels, a little clown car, some animals in cages...

Callisto:   And here comes the contestants! Entering the ring from six seperate entry points to the roar of the crowd!

Harley Quinn:   Awww... and there's my puddin'. Yeah, lets all watch as Mr. Joker mops da' floor with these bums.

Callisto:   And there's the bell! Our fight in on!

Harley Quinn:   The Crow wastes no time! He immediately pulls dual machine guns out and starts firing! Joker ducks. Pennywise and Beetlejuice appear unconcerned...

Callisto:   Violator is morphing from Clown mode to full Demon mode...

Harley Quinn:   ...The Mask, drawn to the rampaging Crow, moves at super speed over to him...

Callisto:   Crow starts unloading clips into the Mask... No effect! Let's get some sound from the playing field. Microphone please...

The Mask:   Say, that's pretty good shootin' there, Tex. But can you do this?

Callisto:   Goddess! The Mask just pulled a guided stinger missle launcher out of his pants!

Harley Quinn:   The Crow starts running... The Mask fires! Fire in da' hole!

Callisto:   Wait! The rocket whips past the Crow... races upwards... and hits a black bird in the rafters! Singed feathers fly out of the explosion!

The Mask:   Oopsy! Missed. Maybe I outta get this thing checked out. Ha! Ha!

Callisto:   The Crow is looking pretty sick all of a sudden. Meanwhile on the field...

Harley Quinn:   That big demon Violator is chasin' my puddin'! Run Mr. J!

Callisto:   And Beetlejuice has materialized in front of the Mask! The Mask points his rocket launcher at Beetlejuice...

Beetlejuice:   Hi, howyadoin'. Beetlejuice is the name, removal of the living is the game. My card.

The Mask:   Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice:   That's the name, don't wear it out. I'm the ghost with the most, babe. Well, since guns don't work on a dead guy, I guess this'll be a piece of cake. Let's see.

The Mask:   So, it's Beetlejuice, then.

Beetlejuice:   Uh-uh... don't say the B word.

The Mask:   Hmmm... let me see what I got in my pocket here. Say! You think this might work on a ghost?

Beetlejuice:   What you got there my green faced freaky friend? Is that some sort of... nuclear device?

The Joker:   Really? Can I borrow this for a minute?

Callisto:   The Joker races by! Grabbing the small nuclear explosive from the hands of the Mask! Violator hot on his trail... wait, Violator dissappeared!

Harley Quinn:   And reappears right in front of Mr. J!

Violator:   Play time is over, girly man. Time to get Violated.

The Joker:   Oh, don't tease! Mama told me you uptown girls are all alike

Callisto:   Violator lunges! Mouth forward... gonna take a big bite outta the Joker.

Harley Quinn:   Mr. J drops the nuclear explosive down the demon's throat and ducks!

Callisto:   Wait... what's that looming up behind Violator! Oh, my. Is that...

Harley Quinn:   ...Oh My God. I ain't much up on religion, but that looks like... some sort'a Mega Demon! Beezlebub, Lucifer... someone big in da' underworld anyways.

Callisto:   Joker sees the big demon behind Violator... is he scared? He starts laughing!

Harley Quinn:   Mr. J aint'a scared of nothin'!

Callisto:   Violator whips around to see what's so funny. Ah. Well, Violator is scared, anyway.

Harley Quinn:   Yeah, if a demon can show fear, he's showing it.

Violator:   Oh, hey. Boss. Good to see ya'. I was just...

Uber Mega Demon who may or may not be Lucifer:   You have failed me for the last time.

Callisto:   Ouch! Lightning fast the Uber Demon lashes out and takes off Violator's head with a clawed hand!

Harley Quinn:   Violator starts to dissappear, leaving behind a charged Nuclear detonator! The clock is ticking!

Callisto:   Wait... not a Mega Demon! It's Pennywise! Now he switched into his clown guise.

Harley Quinn:   Once again, Joker picks up the nuke and lobbs it over to the Clown of Terror, Pennywise!

Callisto:   And, the Joker is running again!

Harley Quinn:   Meanwhile... The Mask and Beetlejuice are still debating over weapons. There's a large pile there where the Mask is emptying his pockets...

Callisto:   The Joker ducked into the micro-clown car. Good for him! The Micro Clown car is GodProof(TM). Nothing can hurt him there.

Harley Quinn:   Waitasecond! Hey!! THat's me down onna field! How'd I get there?

Callisto:   You dope. That's Pennywise looking like you! And, Pennywise, looking like our own Clown Girl, politely knocks on the Micro-Clown car door.

Harley Quinn:   Oh, No! Mr. J! Don't open the door!

Callisto:   Ha! He's opening the door! And, apparently you are giving him a giftwrapped package.

Harley Quinn:   I can't watch.

Callisto:   Let's switch to the Inside the Micro-Car Cam. And, the Joker opens the giftwrapped package... and, yes... it's a ticking Nuclear Explosive. Three... Two... One...

Harley Quinn:   Nooooooo!

Callisto:   The Micro-Car can't contain that blast! The Arena flashes white! Fire in the hole!

Harley Quinn:   I bet Mr. J made it out alive. Let's wait for the dust to settle.

Callisto:   Yeah, right. Good luck.

Harley Quinn:   ...

Callisto:   ...

Harley Quinn:   Well, I see Beetlejuice and the Mask down there.

Beetlejuice:   See, I told you! Can't hurt a dead guy.

The Mask:   Well, guess you were right there! Ha! Ha!

Pennywise:   Well, that's three down. You guys are making me do all the work out here. What's going on over here.

The Mask:   Well, you see, we seem to be at am impasse, here. A mexican stand off... if you will.

Beetlejuice:   We outta be reasonable and just see who can scare the most mortals.

The Mask:   Nah. I got things to do.

Pennywise:   Me too. Besides, I already know what scares our green faced friend here.

Beetlejuice:   Yeah? What's that?

Pennywise:   Well, just take off his mask. He's a normal guy named Stanly Ipkiss. Kind of a loser, too, really.

Beetlejuice:   Oh yeah?

Callisto:   Beetlejuice dissapears... wait! The Mask is suddenly holding his face... trying to keep the Mask on!

Harley Quinn:   Ho! Ho! Beetlejuice the ghost has wedged himself between the mask and Stanly's face! He's prying the mask off from the inside!

Callisto:   with a howl from beyond, the Mask comes off and falls to the ground!

Harley Quinn:   Pennywise pulls out a gun and pops Stanly! Sheesh!

Pennywise:   Thank you Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!




'Nuff Said!


Violator: 183

Beetlejuice: 317

The Crow: 530

The Mask: 540

The Joker: 1066

Pennywise: 1132




Callisto:   Well, looks like we have a winner! Beetlejuice is banished after his name is said three times. And... well, guess you need a new boyfriend, Clown Girl.

Harley Quinn:   Nah, this is Khazan. Just a little stroll to the cloning tanks and my man will be good as new.

[Visit Current Battle]   [See Back Issues]
Other CBUB Fights
Issue #74 The Joker vs. The Green Goblin
Issue #81 Violator vs. Ghost Rider


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