The CBUB Character Database

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ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!

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Martial Mayhem - Round One!

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The Predator vs. The Road Runner

ISSUE #41

Smurfs vs. Snorks

[ BeBop ] [ Dirty Pair ]

Cowboy BeBop vs. The Dirty Pair

THE SCENARIO

 

Han Solo Galactic smuggler and scoundrel, running on luck and and adrenalin he managed to become one of the most useful tools in Jabba the Hutt's crime syndicate. Long before Jabba wanted his head, Jabba simply wanted a "message" delivered to Solo - A message telling Han Solo to get it together before things got ugly. To that end Jabba the Hutt hired two sets of bounty hunters with one mission: Find Solo and give him the chance to make good. Enter today's contestants:

Cowboy BeBop: A down on their luck bounty hunting team with moments of wild success breaking up the long dry spells of boredom and near starvation. The team consists of Jet Black, a former cop and detective; Spike the highly trained former assassin with a mysterious past; Faye Valentine, the card shark with an ace up her sleeve and plenty of moxy; Ed the child prodigy computer hacker. Though teamwork isn't their strong suit, they always seem to come out on top when it matters.

The Dirty Pair: These lovely angels are nothing but trouble for their intended marks - bounty hunters and troubleshooters who usually cause massive collateral damage before bringing home the bad guys. The Dirty Pair are Yuri the feisty "chick with a blaster" who prefers to ask questions later. And Kei the sword mistress who balances her insane fighting skills with the voice of reason. Though they seem to get into a lot of compromising situations, they always make it out relatively unscathed (and with most of their clothes).

Join Us Now as we speed across the galaxy in a race to find Han Solo in a battle we had to call...

Man Hunt

THE SPORTS BOX

 

Garrod:   Okay...Systems Check! Mobile Suits...Check. Funnel Cams...Check. 20 Mile distance between us and the city..Check and check.

Hamann:   Is it really nesscary to be so far out? I mean..The Funnel Cams can cover the distance but it seems kinda ridiculous

Garrod:   Have you ever seen Kei and Yuri in action?

Hamann:   Nope

Garrod:   Then be quiet. Okay..3..2...1...We're on! Welcome all you fight fans! This is Garrod Ran in the Double X Gundam

Hamann:   And Hamann Kahn in the Quebeley, The Master of the Funnel Cam! We've got an exciting fight for 'ya this time!

Garrod:   Yes, we do... but let's take a look at what the viewers had to say...

 

YOUR OPINIONS


Ivan writes:

Ok, everyone knows that in the Star Wars Universe, Bounty hunters must appear clunky and inept in order to get any screen time. The stupider and clumsier a bounty hunter looks, the more legendary their exploits and abilities. I mean Boba Fett looks like a retarded Teutonic Knight meets the Rocketeer. IG-88's Head and Torso are the Transmission casing from a 78 El Camino. That brown lizard thing Bosk (or whatever) doesn't even appear to have opposable thumbs. None of these sleek, agile anime characters has any chance of actually catching Han Solo. That being said, I'm sure the crew of Cowboy Bebop will come the closest, because there are four characters, a dog, three small personal ships, and the Bebop itself. That translates into a LOT more merchandise for George Lucas to cram down our throats. Plus, I'd gladly listen to "Tank!" over "Yub-Nub" any day.


AnimeAndy writes:

Jabba's made a big mistake hiring the Dirty Pair. Whereever they go, chaos and collateral damage are almost guaranteed to follow. I mean, those girls have blown up *the entire planet* on several occasions. And Jabba doesn't want Solo dead... yet.

On the other hand, the crew of the Bebop have had good experience escaping from almost certain doom, especially Spike and Jet. I say the boys and girls from the Bebop deliver the message to Han Solo and escape from the mayhem wrought by the Dirty Pair in the nick of time.


Deep Sea Dolphin writes:

1.Yuri's the cutest of the members on both teams.

2.I've only seen Dirty Pair which gives them the advantage.

3.Has Cowboy Beebop ever had a situation where EVERYONE in the spaceport was really an assassin?

4.Yuri's the cutest of the members on both teams.

5.From the two episodes of Bebop I've seen, they don't break the laws of reality as much as Dirty Pair(which is a disadvantage).

6.Has the Beebop crew ever convinced people to negotiate a treaty after accidently wiping out the armies on both sides?

7.Did I mention Yuri?

I think that about sums it up.


Maximum Overdrive writes:

to the dirty pair two words: bitch whipping. i like dirty pair but this fight is going to be quick and painful!


Gosunkugi writes:

Oh, YEAH RIGHT. Like ANYBODY can stand a chance against EDWARD. This is going to be over so-o-o-o quick...


Zoltarak The Imposter writes:

You gotta go with the breasts


Myself writes:

I don't believe either team has what it takes to capture Han Solo.

The fight should happen as follows.

Both teams arrive at Solo's location at the same time.

Six blaster shots fly off and kill all but one of the dirty pair.

::Remaining hunters:: Looks like your out of gas.

::Solo:: Maybe.......

::Chewbacca Wookie slaps the last hunter after leaping from a tree::

::Solo:: .....Maybe not.


New Kid writes:

Han Solo was caught by Boba Fett, which shows that neither of the contestants won. But disregarding that, I'd have to say bebop for three reasons

Numbers: There are 4 members of bebop (not counting Ein), whereas the dirty pair are, well, a pair.

Weapons: Swords are useless agaisnt blaster (unless their lightsabers). Han Solo can handle blasters being shot at him. The falcons sheilds will miraculously hold. They deflect light beams. Missles are not light beams. Bebop has missles.

But neither of the above count if Ed simply hacks into the Falcon's computer. Han can't retake control of the Falcon. He can't even SPEAK to the computer. He get threepio to do it for him (the empire strikes back).

Therefore, bebop wins easy.


Atomic Horror writes:

Cowboy Bebop, if only because of the funky theme song.


DarthVegita writes:

The Cowboy Bebop crew has this one down. Sure, they fight and bicker the whole time, but when it comes donwn to the nitty-gritty, the ALWAYS find their man.

Collecting the reward is a whole different matter...


The Bunyip writes:

Voters, we must not ignore the Cross-Genre Hentai Factor(tm).

Kei and Yuri have actually spent more screen time as naked models for hentai otaku then they have actually spent in their own episodes of the Dirty Pair series. Therefore, as the fanfiction element takes over, Expect Kei to, ahem, dispose of Leia and start getting it on with Han as soon as possible.

All that the Cowboy Bebop team has to do is wait for the post-coital moment of bliss to occur, and then take out both Han and Kei in one strike.

Expect Han frozen in Carbonite, Yuri wearing a brass bikini and chained to Jabba, and the Cowboy Bebop team to fly off in the Millenium Falcon as they hire on with Prince Xizor and the Black Sun.


Quick2Die writes:

I voted for the dirty pair because I see that they have the girls on their team...I invoke THE BABE FACTOR™.


The Joker writes:

No contest,folks!The Bebop guys and girls are good.But there's good...and there's better.I mean,the Dirty Pair is practically invincible.They blow up everything around them,including rivals,and always end victorious.Besides,they have got much more experience in comics and screen than the Bebop crew.

Now,if we want a truly worthy of seeing match,let's pit Kei and Yuri against Lobo,the Last Czarnian...and pray for the galaxy to have insurance.


Dark Queen writes:

My vote goes for the Dirty Pair for two reasons.

1.) Becuase they sound dirty. (All right bad pun, I'm sorry.)

2.) As far as I know, Cowboy Bebop is the only show of the two that airs on TV. Therefore, with that note in mine more people will vote for Bebop because more have seen it. Just thought I would give the "little" people a chace.

And, as always, Snootchie Bootchies!


Justy Hakubi writes:

The Analysis... As seen on TV...

Cowboy BeBop is more diversified. Jet has the law enforcement connections (which in the SW universe would correspond to Imperial ties). Spike has mafia connections which will help immensely. After all they are both syndicate people and Spike specifically was a mob enforcer. I don't believe that has been brought up yet. He'll have a good idea of where Solo could be hiding out. Plus, he has that shaman he visits from time to time. Another point not really elaborated is Faye I see her as quite willing to use her charms to hook Solo. (Which I'm sure can also be used by DP, but IMO Faye is hotter...er better drawn). Faye is a good team player when she deems it beneficial to her. Hmm... I'm trying to think what Ein brings to the table. He may be able to understand Chewie (Jeez this dog talked to a cow). Then there is Ed... when appropriate SHE could locate and neutralize the Falcon.

As a partisan of Faye Valentine I would gladly vote just for her. If I can make a prediction Faye would pretend to desert the Beebop team. Hook up with Solo, betray him -in the morning- somehow and deliver him to Jabba.

When I think about the Dirty Pair their strength seems to be luck and getting themselves out of dangerous situations. I don't see Han as one who would get them into that kind of trouble. A main strength of theirs is the Central Computer which is a boon. However I see that as very susceptible to tampering by Ed (who could theoretically re-assign them to another case).

All things considered, I must say that the Lovely Angels have their wings clipped faster than a Soloian reciting of "Its not our fault!".


Melchior, the Geddon Knight writes:

Just a quick comparison.

If the Bebop team is working well, they catch the criminal who dies at the last moment.

If the Dirty Pair are working well, they catch the criminal alive... after causing more devestation than major armies.

Bebop will be listed on the "collateral damages" part of the bill.


Ghost writes:

Yet ANOTHER Anime battle, which hinders me from coming up with a long, witty battle analysis, thus forcing me to post this short and pointless one instead. It probably won't be published on the final Issue, thereby ruining my record. Five accepted Comments and it comes down to this? Damn, I'm bitter.

Anyway, I voted for Cowboy BeBop, basically because:

A) They have the advantage in numbers, and since they only need to find Han Solo before the Dirty Pair does, it's a definitive advantage.

B) They have a cute looking dog and people with cute looking dogs tends to win allot.

C) One of them is a mean looking guy with a badass-beard and what looks like a Borg implant. Now that's just scary.


Peter writes:

I would have to say the Dirty er Lovely Angels. It's going to be a tough hunt for both of them considering the man involved, but in cases in which massive planetwide destruction is necessary (or not) to complete a mission, Kei and Yuri are the girls who can't be beat.


Eddie Filth writes:

I was considering going for Dirty Pair but I then decided to put my vote for Bebop when I learned the target is Solo.

Despite the bad streak that's ben on not getting a good pay, Bebop has proven to be the ones for the job. Spike and Jake are excellent info seekers and talkers and have experts in finding people across space.

Only thing Dirty Pair does is blow things up.Finding Solo takes major percison which Bebop has and the Pair dosen't.


Demonicuss Krinn writes:

To catch Solo, you just can't go in with blasters a-blastin. You need to be cool, think it out, plan. Spike and Co. convince Han to talk to Jabba easily.


Devin writes:

Before or after Han takes them both out?


Spike_Spiegel110 writes:

The Crew Of the bebop have this one sinched

i mean who else can survive an alien bacteria or fight vicious in not one but 5 episodes

sadly enough well i wont ruin the ending of the series for all of u but SPike will catch han and if he donnt han dies bc thats how they lose most of their bounties hehehe


Warlord Ralts writes:

Hey, a professional assassin? Come on, he's gonna let the two day-glo doxies do all the leg work, and while his buddies back him up, he's gonna pop them in the back of their melon heads right in front of Solo, sending him a message he won't soon forget when cheap paint splashes all over his boots.....


Draco Starcloud writes:

Excuse me? You think Han Solo's gonna be caught by some down-on-their-luck bounty hunters who get beat by a lobster or some chicks who are lucky to escape each mission clothed are gonna be able to catch the great Han Solo? He and Chewie'll blast right through them in the Millenium Falcon and agree to take a desert hermit, a farm boy, and a couple of droids to Alderaan before these two groups will even come close!

So where's the "Han Solo" button?


Vertigo writes:

We are dealing with anime characters in the Star Wars Universe, which means that teamwork MATTERS here. Proof? Stormtroopers.

Now, think about the target. Han Solo is notorious for smuggling and womanizing. Who is he more likely to allow himself to be causght by? A group of five people who rarely get along, or two hotties that wanna get REAL close to him?


Alaric writes:

As buxom as these may be, how can you deal with a guy as...well, crazy as Spike, an utterly insane gambler and super hot babe in Faye, a former cop in Jet, a wiz computer hacker in Ed, and the best character in Cowboy Bebop, Ein! Bebop has this match won, with a 5:2 advantage over the lovely ladies over the Dirty Pair. I love both groups, but one must die!


Whyteknight writes:

*sigh*

Well, I feel a bit stupid...

In a moment of driveling ignorance, I accidently submitted my comments on this fight over in the fight SUGGESTIONS section, despite the fact that both are clearly labelled. Oh well, here we go again...

I guess I'll give this one to the Dirty Pair. There are three reasons for this.

1)They are hot

2)I am a guy, so I like hot girls

3)I don't like Spike's hair

.... it seems kinda base to just vote for the hotter team.... maybe I should research this a little....

NAH!!

GO HOTTIES GO!!!


Frodo writes:

The Bopep gang wouldn't stand a chance against Dirty 'trousers'

Nuff' said!


Darth_Maxx writes:

Oy! Spiku!

Hehehe... Spike smokes the Dirty Pair like there's no tomorrow. That's not even counting Jet and the others. He has the HAIR OF DOOM, and the skillz to match.

Yeah, he's had his bad breaks, who hasn't? He is SUCCESSFUL sometimes, and don't forget that he managed to survive against Vicious, which is a feat in and of itself...

This fight is going to be over before you can say, "3, 2, 1, Let's jam."


Gunslinger [Roland] writes:

if it had to be one of them I would say cowboy bebop, but we all of course know that they both cant because boba fett catches han solo..... ;)


Muryoken writes:

Dirty who?


BlackBass24 writes:

Maybe people are starting to forget, but the main aspect of this is that the objective is to find him, not to get him blown up. Although the Bebop team doesn't always get the money, at least they can control the things they blow up, unlike the Dirty Pair, known across the universe for massive amounts of destruction every misison they partake in.


lord_breetai writes:

Kei and Yuri collectivly known as the DIRTY PAIR, from Ditry Pair and Dirty Pair flash, have faced many challanges and always overcame them, but they may face their hardest fight yet in the Cowboy Bebop crew. Both of these teams are very very good, but in the end it hast to be the Dirty Pair.


Xerzes writes:

Hm..well, two Japan things I've each heard of approximately once. One a group of people who don't like each other, the other a pair of over-endowed females who have clothes-losing tendencies. This doesn't seem like a hard choice.


DamieN Brimstone writes:

both mangled and killed. IM TIRED OF ANIME!


EYE On CBUB writes:

There really are quite a few fallacies floating around out there in opinionland. Kei and Yuri are physically battling the BeBop crew. Both teams are trying to kill Solo. Kei and Yuri are only good at blowing things up. The BeBop crew hate each other.

All these fallacies are tragically wrong. I say people should do their homework before open their hole. And this opinion writer says that this battle will show the ultimate skills of both sides. Perhaps a system or two may blow up in the process, but who's quibbling over trifles.

This has been EYE On CBUB.


Noman writes:

Dirty Pair means two. As a Tom Clancy fan, I'm tired of people who say "screw reality", and this time those who would win in the real world will win. Four beats two. Only an idiot would carry around a sword when there's guns around. The cowboy group sounds like they can handle themselves when it gets down and dirty. The dirty pair look like a bunch of posers who would cry if their hair-do got messed up. Cowboy beb-bop has an ex-cop, who seems like he can easily take out some stupid upstart punks. In the real world experience beats anime stupidness and guns ALWAYS BEAT SWORDS! (Not to mention the whole strength of numbers thing AND varied skills).


fight suggester writes:

hmm.. I have never heard of these two contestants. BUT!!! based on the name i would choose the dirty pair, what kind of crappy shitty ass name is cowboy beboop?


Frosty Bob writes:

Well I think the Dirty Pair will win this simply due to being better at teamwork.

The Bebop crew might be able to find him first but simply put Faye Valentine is likely going to try to take him by herself now Han is pretty quick on his feet plus he has a certain Wookiee behind him in a fight. She will definitely be outmatched.

After that little encounter The Dirty Pair will come in and overwhelm Han and Chewie give them Jabba's message and make sure Han knows if he doesn't pay up within the amount of time they will be back for the bounty.

In any case me and Jabba go way back I think knowing what will happen in the future I will talk Jabba into hiring up the both these groups as bodyguards knowing that Luke will eventually come he is going to be in for a surprise if things fall according to the Star Wars timeline in this universe. It would then look like the end of the Jedi.


Cowboy Rocksteady writes:

Wow, Bebop got his own show, huh? I thought we wuzz friends, how could he have a show without me? After all we've been through working for Shreader and Krain! If it were Cowboys Bebop and Rocksteady, I sure we'd win.


Will writes:

Never heard of either of them.

Gotta say, the ladies with the big guns have MUCH better freudian imagery. And visible cleavage.

Who draws these things, anyway?


RoadWarrior83 writes:

I'm gonna have to put this battle towards the Bebop and its crew. As much as the Dirty Pair are skilled they lack one important ingredient...EIN!!!

You just gotta love that little data dog.


Goku_Mizuno writes:

Dirty Pair should win. They look better.


AngelusJC writes:

Chicks with weapons are hot.


AngelusJC writes:

Chicks with weapons are hot.


Wakboth writes:

Dirty Pair will get Solo in the end, but they'll leave four planets, seven space stations, one Imperial stardestroyer, nineteen smaller Imperial ships, twenty-six Rebel ships (including Millenium Falcon; it really wasn't Kei's fault...) and the brain of George Lucas in smoking ruins...


Jeff "T-Rex" Hayes writes:

The Dirty Pair have this Fight in the bag. Be Bop huh didnt they steal that name from somewhere? Like from one of the two villians from TMNT? The Dirty Pair are babes anyhow. Cow Boy BeBop is going to be booking like a fan boy to Rachel Weisz's house!!!!


Leo Tokarski writes:

Face it, this is Dirty Pair all the way. Why, you may ask?

The answer is simple: the Babe Factor (tm).

The Babe Factor (tm) is a simple rule: all else being equal, whichever team sends blood rushing to my crotch the fastest will win.

So, according to the Babe Factor (tm), Cowboy Bebop is gonna get blown up faster than bin Laden in Texas.


Bri Rob the Caveman writes:

I'll play the typical male here and vote for the two hot women.


Deristasion writes:

Give me a Break, Han Solo will waste all of these losers,neither of them will ever catch him.

Pls discount my vote,I only voted too get onto the board!!cause Han'Da Man" is gonna stick it too all contestants!!!!


tmquinn writes:

oh come on now...i had to vote for one of the two...but neither...i repeat neither of these two anime wannabes is going to find solo...and even if they did...

...well...

does "sorry bout the mess" ring a bell...

gimme a break...


Jruggg writes:

Gotta say that the Dirty Pair look more photogenic...

 

THE BATTLE

Garrod:   Yup! After a bunch of False Leads, Blinding chases, Intense fire Fights, and More Fan-Service then you can Shake a Stick at, Our 2 groups have Finaly managed to chase Han Solo down to a small out of the way Planetary System!

Hamann:   As We Speak We've got the Orbital Funnel Cams in hot Pursuit of Han's Ship as he enters the system..and right behind him..LITERALY..Is the Bebop!

Garrod:   Are they INSANE? It looks like their gonna Ram it!

Hamann:   And Ram it they did! Luckily they only clipped one side of it, but it was enough to force Han to drop down to a Slower Speed. Looks like He's not going to be able to Hyperdrive out this time!

Garrod:   And Here comes the Lovely Angels personal Ship...The Lovely Angel! And It's got Blasters Blazing...at the Bebop! Apparently the Term 'Share the Reward' for Delivering that message to Solo is non existant for Kei and Yuri!

Hamann:   And Spike and Faye are lifting off the Bebop in their own personal ships. It's like Mosquitoes vs Horse folks! The Lovely Angel just can't get a bead on the smaller, faster ships, but they aren't doing much to hinder it either!

Garrod:   And, Rather predictably I might add, Han is limping his way to the nearest planet. Lemme pull up it's stats: Ooo..heavy Industriel with lots of Innocent Bystanders!

Hamann:   That's the way we like it! Looks like the Bebop managed to see Han enter the Atmosphere..Faye and Spike have gone back aboard..And the Lovely Angels are Following as well.

Garrod:   As the 2 ships touch Down, it looks like we've got a Major Split up. Spike and Faye are having some kind of Argument..

Hamann:   Their storming off in opposite directions in a huff. Spike and Jet are talking...Their splitting up too. Ed's staying in the Bebop though.

Garrod:   Makes Sense. She's not much in a fight.

Hamann:   Ed's a girl?

Garrod:   Did you take a Stupid pill or something today Hamann? YES She's a girl.

Hamann:   Well Excuuuuse me!

Garrod:   We'll settle this later Hamann. Anyway, Kei and Yuri are splitting up too...Between the 2 Teams the entire city has been covered.

Hamann:   And It wasn't long before someone ran into each other! Apparently Ed is directing Spike and Jet from the Bebop itself. They just ambushed Kei!

Garrod:   You can't really tell though, the way Kei is swinging that sword of hers. She's litteraly slicing the Bullets out of the air!

Hamann:   Speaking of bullets, Faye and Yuri are having a Showdown! Their staring each other in the eye...And Faye pulls out an Uzi! Yuri facefaults and starts dodging...

Garrod:   Is it just me or..Yes..I was right. Each bullet is indeed ripping off abit more of her already skimpy outfit. I'm sure the Fanboys at home are loving this.

Hamann:   Luckily for our Censors Yuri manages to pull out her own blaster before too much can be shown! YIKES! Is that Bulding collapsing?

Garrod:   Make that 2 Buldings! Apparently Kei is making some sort of Mad rush at Spike and Jet, who've entrenched themselves in a bulding! She's slashing like crazy!

Hamann:   Jet retreats Further in the building as Faye and Yuri go into a running Firefight, exchanging Rounds of Ammo while utterly blasting everything around them.

Garrod:   And Spike has tossed his gun down, looks like he's out of ammo. He moves in towards Kei..

Hamann:   Look how Fluid he moves! He's dodging Kei's slashes without even trying!

Garrod:   Looks like Ed, back on the Bebop, has found Solo. She's sending Spike the cooridnates by Radio..

Hamann:   Just as Faye and Yuri arrive in the middle of the Melee! Between Jet's Covering Fire, Kei and Spikes Melee, and the Firefight between Faye and Yuri, Ed's had to scream to the point that EVERYONE heard it! KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Garrod:   What was that? It Came from over near the Bebop...Get a Funnel Cam over there!

Hamann:   Some sort of Bomb went off in it! But when?

Garrod:   Yuri must've managed to sneak one in before she ran into Faye!

Hamann:   We're not picking up any life signs from the Bebop..looks like Ed is out of the match.

Garrod:   QUICK! Get a Funnel-Cam back to the Main Battle! We just lost another building!

Hamann:   This is Getting Ridiculous! Yuri has managed to blast out the foundation of the building Jet was in! And Faye's Pulled out a Rocket Launcher! Where the @##!@ Did She get THAT?

Garrod:   Does it matter? Rockets are flying everywhere, Spike and Kei are still going at it, and Yuri...just grabbed one of the Rockets in Mid-air and tossed it at Faye!

Hamann:   Double KO! The blast took Faye completly off guard, but Yuri left herself wide open to a parting rocket. It's down to just Kei and Spike!

Garrod:   And those 2 are still going at it! Dodge, weave, Slice, Duck, Parry, Kick, Roll, Swing, Stab, Kick, Punch, Slice....We can barely keep up!

Hamann:   The Whirlwind of activaty is only getting faster! We can barely make out either of them now!

Garrod:   And the Dust that's being kicked up isn't helping any! Wait..the Smoke is starting to clear. I see someone standing over someone...

Hamann:   It's Kei! Spike's on the ground with her Laser Sword sticking out of his Gut. He'll feel that one in the morning! Thanks to Ed's Info, and with no one to stop her, it looks like the Lovely Angels get to add another Win to the Scorecard!

 

THE FINAL VOTE

 

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Cowboy BeBop: 516

Dirty Pair: 517

 

THE WRAP UP

 

Garrod:   Well that was a great Fight! Fan-Service, Collatieral Damage and much much Blood! Can it get any better?

Hamann:   And you said -I- was the one taking Stupid pills? Good Night Folks!

 

[The Comic Book Universe Battles]