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Jungle - Boogie
hobbes En Garde! tigger
HOBBES vs. TIGGER

THE SCENARIO

We have dropped both Tigger and Hobbes off in their Native Asia for a week. They will exist on the lay of the land, and without contact with the outside world.

The contest: Who can annoy, startle and otherwise boggle the most indigenous peoples and tourists in the time allotted. Watch out... they could be lurking anywhere!

Join us now in a contest we had to call...

Tyger, Tyger burning bright...

Fight suggested by Noel Schornhorst.

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT: LIVE broadcasting from the Jungles of Eastern Asia... I'm Pat Summers!

JAY: And I'm Jay Peoples! We are airborne today, keeping tabs on the closing day of the amazing Tigger v. Hobbes showdown that we have been tracking all week. Both contestants have been tagged with radio trackers so we can follow their movements in the dense foliage.

PAT: That's right, Jay... and our scanners indicate that Tigger has just crossed into Vietnam while Hobbes is skirting the border of Cambodia, now. The score on the books with the Judges is pretty tight... so I think we are going to see some big bids for big annoyance out of these two characters today.

JAY: Indeed! Now, while our contestants look for some fresh mischief to get into, let's see what the viewers had to say...

YOUR OPINIONS

Dark Queen writes:

Hobbes is my choice. I mean when you hang out with someone like Calvin you must know plenty of ways to annoy someone. Plus, Hobbes is a good hunter and would have the element of surprise with him. As for Tigger, he's not annoying, he's just plain stupid.


Rich Stellato writes:

Hobbes wins paws down. He has to deal with the imagination of Calvin all day and you don't hang around with such sheer, unadulterated genius and not pick up something. Tigger has nobody to draw inspiration from, and as such, he will not be able to compete.


A. Moser writes:

Hobbes may have the brains, but only Tigger has the loveable spring of the tail. He'll be jumping circles around Hobbes.


Lord Kthululu writes:

I don't care if he turned out to be a traitor, Hobbes was the best character from Wing Commander. (What? Calvin & HOBBES? Wasn't that cancelled?) Erm....well, same reply anyway.


Kevin writes:

I voted Tigger. I believe Hobbes has the better knockout punch but I just don't believe he will ever lay that punch on Tigger. Tigger has the ability to avoid Hobbes the whole fight and would win on either a decision or TKO... a TKO because eventually Hobbes' bad habits would take over and he would simply lay down and take a nap.


Neo-Calvinist writes:

Maybe Tigger can bounce pretty high with that tail of his, but Hobbes could knock him out of that tree with lofty rhetoric. Tigger's got the Disney corporate backing, but that's made him soft. Hobbes'll beat the stuffing out of 'im, no question.


ferret writes:

Tigger would have problems surviving against Piglet, yet alone in a jungle. Hobbes would survive on attitude alone. Yes, I know we all love the Tigger, but that's why we should keep him safe at home. After all, he is the only one.


Lone Eagle writes:

Hobbes has no chance, because Tigger is just naturally annoying.


Jeff Hayes writes:

Hobbes is the man when it comes to cartoon tigers. Tigger would be just bouncing around and tire himself out while My man Hobbes would ROPE A DOPE his silly butt around the ring!!!!


Andriod writes:

I like both Tigger and Hobbes, but Hobbes will win. He has the training and the maneuverability... he lives with Calvin!! Tigger has only got the bouncing and the endangered species thing going for him.


FirstofTen writes:

Hobbes all the way! Although Tigger is pretty cool, he's not much of a threat, hanging out with Christopher Robbins. Hobbes, on the other hand, is Calvin's constant side-kick and that's like being best friends with the spawn of Satan. Hobbes gonna kick some massive tiger tush!!!


Cornholio writes:

Hobbes will last longer because the indigenous Asians, p.o.ed at all the crappy movies Disney's been producing lately, will form a big, unruly mob and ANNIHILATE TIGGER! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON-BELIEVERS!...or maybe just Tigger's.

Hobbes' only problem will be poachers. If they see just a stuffed toy tiger, Hobbes will be fine. If they see a live tiger, though, he may be in for trouble!


Lorreee writes:

Tigger could whip hobbes' butt any day! Tigger is bigger, better and can bounce farther!! If you like Hobbes over Tigger you need a cat scan!!!


Sailor Callisto writes:

I have no clue what Hobbes moves are but any one from Winnie the Pooh is da bomb!


Susie An Moe writes:

Hobbes will maul Tigger. Even though Tigger has the spring tail function, Hobbes has the wit and cunning of the philosopher he was named after.


Skyler writes:

Well in a battle like this I would have to say that Hobbes would win because when Calvin opens the door to his home, Hobbes kicks the snot out of him. On the other hand, Tigger is just a stupid, self-centered, dweb. I mean if I could either hang out with Calvin or that stupid Pooh, It would be Calvin.


CatLaughin writes:

It's going to be Hobbes all of the way. After all, he shares a room with Calvin, which means that his survival skills *have* to be top notch. Also, he has demonstrated time and time again that he is the undisputed master of the Pounce and the dirty trick. Tigger, though lovable and the undisputed master of the Bounce, just won't hold up as well away from his supporting cast. Most likely he'll get bored before the fight is over and try to go home...


Kes writes:

Tiger can like bounce and cream Hobbes so bad it's not even funny. Plus Tigger is way hyper just get the adrenalin pumpin' and BOOM !!!!!!!!!


Spark writes:

Pure and simple, Tigger has the annoyance factor at 100%.


Baal Tocard writes:

Come On! Hobbes(?) Vs Tigger(!) this is ridiculous! Now I like Calvin and Hobbes and all but come on! Tigger could Annoy, Bounce, and sing the flap- jacks out of any one or any thing, be they Friend or 'foe'!


The Almighty Council writes:

Hobbes will probably win this one because he is famous and is liked. This is a popularity contest. If it was to annoy the hell out of some one, Tiger would win because he'll just bounce and bounce and come up with some stupid rhythm song to drive someone nuts.


tom jones writes:

Hobbes is gonna win cus Tigger is Disney and Disney is bad. Now if it was the original tigger from the books then I would still say Hobbes. But the original Tigger would have a better chance.


Omega Red writes:

I love both these guys, but let's look at the cold hard facts. Tigger doesn't need anyone to bring him to life... Hobbes really only comes to life when spurred on by Calvin. No Calvin, No Hobbes. Tigger can bounce and has the logic of a Vulcan on E. Tigger wins by a bounce!


matt writes:

Hobbes is much more powerful he definitely has the brains for this match, while tiger,who seems like he is always stoned, just bounces on his stupid tail!


Liz writes:

Hobbes has common sense, keen insight, and an instantaneous ferocious nature, But I believe that Tigger excels in the sporadic unpredictability that will give him the winning edge in this battle. Besides, Hobbes' legions only consisted of one child while Tigger had an army of stuffed animals at his side.


Mr Big writes:

Lets face it Tigger is a wuss! All he ever does is bounce all the bloody time. Tigger is the ultimate loser as tigers go mate.


Jura-Cilean writes:

Hobbes would kick arse! Even though Tigger's arms are slightly more buff, he has a gut. Hobbes has fingers, Tigger only has mits. HOBBES!!!!


Chris Sawler writes:

Tigger's gonna bounce all over this Hobbes guy! He's bouncy, trounsy, something, something, fun fun fun fun FUN! What's Hobbes? nothing. No song. Plus, Tigger's the only tigger in the world. So those asians won't know what he is and will be even more surprised by him.


qsolo writes:

Well, if it was a contest of "who do you like better," I would say Hobbes all the way. But the question is who will bother more natives. To that end, I believe there is only one thing to analyze: survival.

Hobbes, although he is one cool cat and has a lot of wisdom for a stuffed animal, is still domesticated. Tigger lives on his own in the Hundred Acre Wood. Without Calvin there to make him his tuna sandwiches, Hobbes just won't last long enough to bother anyone.

Let the record show, however, that it pains me greatly to say this.


Ped writes:

C'mon Hobbes will kick Tigger's butt! I mean Hobbes is obviously malevolent, while Tigger is just lucky at hitting things with his bounce..


Moocow writes:

I just need to say that I think that Hobbes is a natural winner. Hobbes is obviously a natural hunter. he keeps his keen instincts honed by terrorizing Calvin, always waiting for him after school and such. Now.... if we throw in Hobbes access to the transmogrifier, and the time machine.... Tigger is as good as toast.

THE BATTLE


JAY: O.K. I'm showing that Tigger has stopped on the outskirts of a good sized village and is sizing-up the situation. I'm moving my crew of robo-cams to view the location.

PAT: And I have Hobbes overlooking a jungle trail. He seems to be waiting... I'm deploying my own camera crew to the scene.

JAY: O.K. Pat, I have the village... It's pretty good size... and there's Tigger! He's winding up his tail and getting some warm-up bounces in. He is definitely going to pull a move here.

PAT: Jay, I can barely see Hobbes... He's up in a tree. He is watching a trail but I don't see... Oh, wait a minute... here comes a group! It appears like a group of soldiers on patrol.

JAY: The villagers are working away in the hot morning sun... kids at play around the huts... lots of possibilities for Tigger. He's still working on the bounce though....

PAT: Hobbes is watching the patrol pass under his tree with narrow, malevolent eyes. Jay, I am expecting big things out of this contestant today, and I feel sorry already for the soldiers.

JAY: Tigger is testing the wind, now... Pat, this is a lot more consideration then I am used to seeing out of Tigger the tiger. Usually he just jumps right in and let's his personal annoyance factor do the work...

PAT: Jay, Hobbes has silently slunk out of his tree... he seems to be stalking a straggler soldier that is lagging behind the group. Wait! The soldier has stopped to light a ciga... Hobbes pounces like lightning!!

JAY: Pat, Tigger is winding up for something... he bounce.. oh my... and... oh my god!!! Tigger is going to bounce the entire rice paddy!!!

PAT: Jay, Hobbes has taken out the soldier and he is now carrying a Russian made AK-47 and a bandoleer of hand grenades... Hobbes is moving back into the bush...

JAY: Tigger is falling out of the sky like a comet... WHAMMM!!!! That rice crop is history!!!! The villagers are soaked with water... confused...

PAT: Hobbes opens fire over the heads of the soldiers! The patrol hits the ground... returning fire...

JAY: Tigger is bouncing the villagers!!! He's singing his insane song!!! The horror! The Horror!

PAT: Hobbes has dropped the gun and speedily slunk around behind the soldiers.... He pounces on one!! He's in their midst!!

JAY: Ohhhh these are some annoyed villagers, Pat!! Tigger has destroyed their livelihood and his repeating, hysterical song is destroying their sanity. There is big, big annoyance going on here and I don't think Hobbes can top it.

PAT: Jay, I don't know if this patrol of soldiers is annoyed, but they are scared, and I guess that counts. Hobbes just pulled a pin on a grenade....

JAY: The villagers are picking up tools, sticks, rocks... they are attempting to fend off Tigger...

PAT: Hobbes is now forcing the patrol to disco dance and sing "Macho Man" lest he drop the grenade. These soldiers are scared, annoyed and humiliated.

JAY: Pat, I agree that on a deeply individual level Hobbes is pulling some big annoyance points right now... I'm getting incoming initial scores now from our Judges that have been following the match all week...

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Tigger: 139

Hobbes: 173

THE WRAP UP


PAT: Yes, it's true Tigger did take more points on the final day, but it wasn't enough to pull ahead of the lead Hobbes had over the previous days.

JAY: Indeed... but that final gambit... whoa. I expect big things in next years re-match.

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

Tigger (TM) is the property of A.A. Milne & Disney

Hobbes (TM) is the property of Bill Waterson

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

Pat & Jay written by Serge - Electric Ferret Studios

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles