Rick: I'm receiving word from one of the camera crew that Scrooge has been
sighted. He is currently in his room and taking his arthritis medication
before he makes his way downstairs.
DamieN: Umm, I don't think they have arthritis medication at this point in
history. So whilst we wait for Grinch to wake up and Scrooge to come down
here, lets go now to a report from our special guest sideline commentator; the
Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ghost of Christmas Future: ... *silence*
DamieN: Ah, I see, thanks for clearing that up. Can you give us any insight
into Scrooge's mental state at this juncture?
Ghost of Christmas Future: ... *more silence*
DamieN: Well, thank you very much for that excellent report. Now lets get back
to the match.
Rick: What report are you talking about. That guy didn't say one freaking
DamieN: *whispering* Shut up Rick. We don't want to insult a big spiritual
entity who wears a dark cloak and carries a scythe around. Now, LETS GET BACK
TO THE MATCH.
Rick: *gulp* Okay then, well it looks like Scrooge has finally left his
house. And the Grinch is up and fully recovered. The competitors are staring
each other down from about five yards away now.
DamieN: I think Scrooge is saying something.
Scrooge: Be gone, foul figment of my imagination, lest I open up a can of
Bah-Humbug and get medieval on your green buttocks.
Rick: Grinch didn't take kindly to those remarks. He is approaching Scrooge
DamieN: And Scrooge winds up with the traditional weapon of the elderly, a
cane. He swings and...
Rick: Grinch grabs the cane right from Scrooges hands. What reflexes.
DamieN: Now Scrooge is being flogged like whale at a cheap Mexican amusement
park! Such brutality.
Rick: That is no way to treat someone who is age-challenged, especially during
the holiday season.
DamieN: Scrooge has crumpled to his knees now. Beneath his coat, his back
must be covered in painful welts. This will all be over so... No, wait,
Grinch isn't following through. He seems to be whistling for his dog.
Rick: And Scrooge capitalizes on the moment. Mustering all his strength, he
just delivered a solid punch to Grinch's gut. Now he has grappled Grinch
DamieN: AMAZING! Grinch just got hip-tossed halfway down the block. I didn't
think Ebeneezer had it in him. But wait, he isn't capitalizing on the
opportunity. He has just turned his back to Grinch, and he is now crawling on
the ground. Has he lost his mind?
Rick: No DamieN, he simply can't help himself. It seems that one of his pockets
ripped during that last exchange, you know how Scrooge is about his money. He
is compulsively trying to pick up every single shilling he dropped.
DamieN: What is this? Grinch's dog just delivered something to his master,
unbeknownst to Scrooge of course.
Rick: I believe that Grinch is now holding a 49-and-a-half foot pole. Hey,
why do you suppose he has that malicious grin on his face. And why is he
aiming the end of that pole at Scrooges... oh no.
DamieN: No, he couldn't he wouldn't?!
Rick: I think that...
DamieN: This looks very bad. My god! Grinch is charging and, and...
Ghost of Christmas Future: ... HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!