The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #145

Planet of the Apes vs. Star Trek Away Team

ISSUE #30

Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel

ISSUE #65

Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero

ISSUE #154

Xena vs. Buffy

ISSUE #90

Supergirl vs. A-ko vs. Ryoko

ISSUE #136

The Thing vs. Colossus

ISSUE #28

Boba Fett vs. Batman

ISSUE #33

Mach 5 vs. Batmobile

ISSUE #106

Nightwing vs. Daredevil

ISSUE #75

Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D

ISSUE #158

Bond Girl Blowout

ISSUE #117

Kraven vs. Pokemon Island

ISSUE #129

Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine

ISSUE #80

Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser

ISSUE #82

Gambit vs. Catwoman vs. Black Cat

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs

ISSUE #34

Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #59

Hulk vs. Doomsday vs. Juggernaut

ISSUE #94

Iron Man vs. Steel

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger

ISSUE #50

Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek

ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl

ISSUE #161

G.I. Joe vs. S.H.I.E.L.D

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt

ISSUE #38

Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #157

Iceman vs. The Human Torch

ISSUE #49

Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable

ISSUE #23

Jawas vs. Ewoks

ISSUE #13

Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #99

Batman vs. Captain America

ISSUE #153

Mum-Ra vs. Skeletor

ISSUE #19

Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2

ISSUE #16

Keebler Elves vs. Krispy Elves

ISSUE #138

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

ISSUE #11

The Borg vs. Aliens

ISSUE #88

Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix

And We Bid You Goodnight
[ Jays All Stars ] [ Pats All Stars ]
star star
Jay's All Stars vs. Pat's All Stars

THE SCENARIO

Given time to produce a final, glorious Khazan battle before following Callisto into a life of travel and adventure, Pat and Jay prepare their last Arena Event.

Acting in her role as Khazan Judge for a final time, Callisto grants Pat and Jay the fight of their dreams: a burn-down-the-house two-team blitzkrieg of a fight which is sure to be the talk of Khazan City for days to come.

Pat and Jay have hand-picked their respective teams from the fighters they themselves have watched, reported on and been impressed by in days past...
Jay's All-Stars

The Men In Black
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Tick
The Ghostrider
Harley Quinn
One-Half Dozen Keebler Cookie Elves

Pat's All-Stars

The Ghostbusters
Sailor Moon
Conan
Cheetarah
Snake Plisskin
One Half Dozen Jawas

Tickets for this event will go quick, so get them while you can. Then raise a glass and toast the health, wealth and wisdom of Pat and Jay as they sail for farther shores.

Join us now for a battle we had to call...

Out of the Blue and into the Black

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT:   Hello and Welcome! we have an amazing Arena of Khazan match for you today. A fight so big we had to throw up a full-strength force field around the perimeter of the Arena pit to protect the crowd. Coming to you LIVE, I'm Pat Summers.


JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. You folks at home are about to witness the most awe inspiring two team match up in Khazan history, assembled by yours truly and Pat Summers. Why? Because we wanted to!!


PAT:   Indeed. Taking a look down into the Arena Pit, we see the teams are being released from the massive steel side gates to the roar of the crowd! This promises to be quite a show.


JAY:   Our contestants waves to the crowd… Well most of them. Ghost Rider is looking intensely at the opposing team across the field while Snake Plisskin does likewise, scoping out his targets and Harley Quinn is giving Cheetarah the raspberry. No love lost there Pat.


PAT:   Yes, as I recall that match between Harley Quinn and Cheetarah went down to the wire. Okay, lets get into the mailbag to see what you had to say about this.


YOUR OPINIONS

The mail bag was really-really full this week, so we had to trim. Thanks to everybody for all your great letters, and for your kind words!

Favorite letter of the Week

Chocobot writes:

Forget the match! Go He-Man! (This is the first time I've commented. I'm making up for lost time starting with Match #1).


Britannia Boyz writes:

Pat and Jay, you are awesome. This site rules and I am sorry to see it go. I think Justicar and Damien should take over and Buffy the Vampire Slayer should become the new ruler of Khazan. Thanks for the memories. I'll always remember the X-Men triumphing over the mighty JLA, Leonardo DiCaprio being hunted down by mercenaries, Daredevil getting hit with pepper spray, Iron Man and Steel finally fighting, three vampire hunters deciding the match with rock, paper scissors, Smurfs and Snorks tearing each other to colorful shreds, and scores of irritating celebrities being devoured by Ctuluthu, some kind of magical squid. I never commented before but this site is always a blast!

Oh Yeah! In the final fight, Jay's All Stars win! Ghost Rider fries the GhostBusters, MIB blast the Jawas, and Buffy takes down Conan with a well placed stake. Harley then distracts Sailor Moon with a boxing glove gun and finishes her off with a spray of Joker Brand (tm)laughing (and nerve) gas. Finally, Cheetarah stops to try a Keebler fudge cookie.And another. And another. She ends up fat and sluggish, an easy target for the Keebler elves, who force feed her chocolate chip cookies till her arteries clog.

Well, goodbye guys. I would really appreciate it if you printed this message from a loyal, but largely silent, fan.


Silent Watcher 8496 writes:

*Sniff* I'm gonna miss you guys! I've been watching you duke it out since He-Man versus Calisto. (Long live Calisto! (Obvious Suck up) She Rocks!)

Well anyways as much as I like Jawas I have to say that Buffy and the MiB can utterly destroy the rest of the other teams.

Farewell my stalward friends!


Suteki girl writes:

You really can't get any better than the side that has sailor moon!!!! My whole Univeristy dorm will really miss you guys. Thanx for all the fun!!! Sailor moon AND Jawas, and that's just the beginning of why they will win!!!


Sailor Xena writes:

First of all I would like to say thank you to Pat and Jay for hosting so many memorable fights, good journies you two.

Now as for the two teams, I think that Sanke Pliscan is better than the Tick and Jawas are cooler than Keebler Elves; and with Sailor Moon, Cheetara and the Ghostbusters, there will be no contest. Pat's team will win hands down. I always thought that Pat was the smarter of the two and his picks prove it. Sure Jay has the MIB; but who wants them when there's Conan! And as I look at the two teams I think Pat has more winners than Jay does.


Sol writes:

Since this is the last battle, I had to comment. I must say that Pat's commentary on what might happen almost fooled me. Sure, Cheetarah can take Harley. There's just no way Buffy would stand against Conan. Heck, the Tick might even fall to the onslaught, but then I remembered something. Jay has the Ghostrider. I'm not talking about that Zarathos creep who messed up Johnny Blaze's life either. I'm talking about THE Ghostrider. He can take both teams all by his wee lonesome with out even breaking a sweat! The Ghostbusters would all fall before the penance stare (GR would just use the chains, but after seeing Ghostbusters II, I do believe that he would make this personal). There is no way that the Jawas are gona survive his scorched-earth policy. Conan would feel the wrath as well. Sure he would try to put up a fight but we're talking the Spirit of vengeance here. Gr would go easy on Cheetarah, but she would have to fall because she's on such a wack team. Then there's Sailor Moon. Kids the world over would mourn her loss. Gr would probably turn on the Keebler elves since I'm sure they've been getting down with the wickedness in that ol' tree for decades now. The rest of the team would probably try to avenge them and then GR would kick the mojo out of them too. So that's the way I see it. GR lays the smack down on everyone, then goes to the Marvel editorial board that failed to release issue 94 of his mag and give them a piece of his mind. Oh, by the way, this is the only time I've ever commented. Could you please post it (even if it's at the end or something) just so I can see it in print. Thanks guys, you've been a ot of fun. Take care on your journeys with Callisto, and whatever you do, DON'T tick her off!


Daki writes:

NO! Say it ain't so!!! *sniff* I'm gonna miss you guys. You two did a hell of a job here! And let me thank you for letting me be a small part of it. Now...on to the fight. Gotta go with Pat's All-Stars. First, you have the Ghostbusters and Snake Plisken. Four nuclear accelerated positron sliders and a guy who LOVES to blow S&%t up! Next you have Sailer Moon. *Shudder* Let's hope she's an early casulty. I don't like her. Jawas stomp the hell out of the Keebler Elves, drink some Juri juice and run around for the rest of the match yelling "UTINI!" Do I have to mention Cheetarah running circle around Ghost Rider and rapping him up in his own chain? Or shoudl I instead mention how Conan is going to powerslam the Tick through the floor? Nah...I've said enough. Thanks for letting me say it Pat and Jay. It's been a blast!


Wolf Leader writes:

First off, farewell and good luck Pat and Jay! It's been our pleasure to visit your site and submit our opinions! We will miss you! On to the fight, sorry Jay, but I gotta go with Pat ultimately. The Ghostbusters will take out Ghostrider, of course. If they can stop Zool, Gozer, AND Vigo, a punk on a Harley ain't gonna be a problem. Speaking of Harley's lets move on to Quinn. She will square off against Cheetarah obviously, but she just doesn't have the skills to pull off a victory against Cheetarah. Sailor Moon and Buffy will face off. Buffy will get an early start, but when the chips are down and her back's against a wall Sailor Moon always has what it takes to lay massive smack down! Conan and the Tick are the next obvious match up. These to towers of power will give us an impressive show and demolish much of the battle ground in the process. However, Conan brute force and brains will prove to be too much for the Tick's bumbling and childlike mind. This leaves us with Snake and the Jawas vs. the MIB and the Elves. This should be very interesting. Snake and the Jawas will massacre the Elves straight away. The MIB witnessing the carnage will rush to their aid. They won't be able to save the Elves, but they will take out the Jawas as they are aliens and the MIB are trained to take out aliens. However, Snake will deftly dodge the initial attack and the match up will then be two MIB agents vs. Snake. We've seen Snake take out two against one before. I'm reminded of the "when the can hits the ground we draw" scene. 'Nuff said! So, in the end, Pat's team will win and Jay's team will be reduced to so much kibble. All in all, it'll be a spectacular battle and a great send-off for our favorite commentators. Farewell!!


Keebler 3:16 writes:

Yo listen up first off I gotta say hasta la vista to sailor moon pie girl right off the bat cause she aint got no game when it comes to a Ass kicking name taker like Ghostrider.
point 1 to Jay's team . round two.
The Ghostbusters get took out of the game when the MIB Agent's stop them and ask to see some license for them Fancy packs they packing and fail to cough up any .
point 2 to jay's team . Round 3.
Conan draws his sword gives a mighty battle cry stops and hears somthing big up above him jumping and running around .Then he looks up just in time to see a rather large man in a strange blue suit yelling a battle cry all his "SPOOON!!" falling right at him in conan's shock at such a odd vision he does not react in time to jump out of harms way then SPLAT!
It's to messy to even talk about . point 3 to Jay's team . Round 4.
Cheetarah vs Harley Quinn lotta heat between these two but well we all seen this 1 already .
Point 4 to Jay's team . Round 5 .
Snack Plisskin vs Buffy hmmm this 1 is a tuffy I would say I see alot of hand to hand but Snake relizing his Tough Guy Fu aint up to snuff against Buffy's Slayer Fu I see him pulling out his ace up his sleve right off the bat parden my pun bat/vampire ya get it "gigle gigle" well on to my point he will point to the big screen above his interence that shows all her tenny bop /IM to cool even though IM not even trying to be/ friends hanging in a cage slowly lowering it's self down that will fall apart when it makes contact with the floor of a pit that is filled with ravuness vampires starved to the brink of maddness . Buffy starts to walk over to him as she gives Snake a oh so evil IM going to put gum in your hair looks . "nah uh now" says Snake as he grins and then says you can stay here and fight me or forfit and go back home and save your friends there at the old abanded warehouse on the south side of town . apon hearing this Buffy says Grrr ok you win runs then runs out of the arena. Snake waits then starts for the exit . Everything is quiet then you can here Snake gigling then laughing aloud as he stops below the big screen at the exit and pulls out a small remote controll presses a butten then everybody can here screams they look up just in time to see Buffy's friends fall into the pit .
Point 1 to Pats team . Round 6.
Jawas vs Keebler Cookie Elves hmmm Jawas come from a place of high teck that has space flght But on the other Hand you have the Keebler Elves with better food and lets not forget ther cookies are filled with elfen magick ..Jawas dont even make good use of some of Star Wars better weapons like light sabers or them neat Han Solo lasser pistols all they use as far as I ever seen is some statick shock thingy that works pretty good on a lone R2D2 . But Statick cling will not win this day for or little hooded friends oh no cause when them elfs Lay the Smack Down and let lose with ther cookie havock many the Jawa will fall on the battle field this day . If you can smell what the Keebler ..are cooking ! "It is a good day to cook !" ohhh Yeahhh !
Keebler 4 Life !
Game point set and match Jay's team 5.
Pat's team 1. Simple math people . P.S. Oh and thanks Pat & Jay you two guys made me laugh alot so I say good luck to ya both TTFN .


Dan writes:

Well, I'm just a big loser who never gets his opinions posted (on these fights), but hey its your last one. Pat, I'll see you on the FPL. Jay, for a long time I didn't realize you were a separate person, but I hope you won't just fade into the backround. Drop by the FPL, make some chars, or something. anywho, about the fight Jay's

MIB: These guys are the most impressive asset to Jay's team. they have great gadgets and serious firepower. However, they're just humans, and one of the guys on Pat's team will recognize the threat and shoot them. Buffy: Has anyone ever used an effective missile weapon against her? seriously, she'll get wiped out fast by a standard handgun. bad choice Jay. Tick: If it weren't for Sailor Moon, this guy would be a huge asset to Jay's team, but He's dumb and clumsy. an easy target for her energy frisbee. Ghost rider: another tough opponent who got unlucky. c'mon, GHOSTrider. GHOSTBUSTERS. this guy will be rattling in a ghost trap very soon. Harley Quinn: hmm, I think she's rather similar to Buffy in terms of this fight. no, scratch that, She'll dodge a bunch of shots until she get's distracted by one and is nailed by another. 6 Keebler elves:.........whatever. these guys are just cannon fodder. Pat's Ghostbusters: these guys will be good for taking out Ghostrider. like Pat said, it's what they do. then they'll be just 5 pretty good gun fighters. oh and a annoying, distracting, difficult to take out ghost. Sailor Moon: I dont know much about her, but the energy frisbee will be a huge asset, and the healing powers will allow KO'ed fighters to get back in the action. I imagine she has a bunch of other powerful abilities too. Conan: IF the MIB don't toast this guy early, he'll be fairly helpful but I think the only one of Jay's fighters that he could actually take out by himself are the elves. he'll be fighting with Buffy, when Plisskin will shoot her. Cheetarah: she's fast and she's got a stick. expect her to fight Quinn, and be winning when someone else fromPat's team tips the scales. Plisskin: this guy, though just a human, will probably take out at least one of the MIB, and sneak up on a bunch of the other standard body guys and take them out. 6 Jawas: Well, they're wimpy, but they have guns and they're fairly accurate with them. these guys will be good against the MIB, and I think theirs would be a valuable (not difficult) contribution if they took out one of them. Victory: Pat's team, with moderate casualties.


Beetle Bomb writes:

Pat's team HAS to win by virtue of Conan and Plisskin alone. I see the fight going alot of ways, but I broke it down as so:

1. M.I.B. vs. Ghostbusters-> "Who ya' gonna call?" It's 3 to one and majority rules. The Men in Black have better weapons, but if they defeat the GB's, Plissken pops a cap in their ass.

2. Buffy (hopefully) destroys Sailor Moon. (Sorry Pat, had to root against ya here buddy.)

3. The Tick is quickly beheaded after spewing one or two bad jokes in Conan's face. "Crom! But this THING is annoying!"

4. Conan, unbelievably drawn to situations supernatural, then tangles with Ghostrider. While Conan has his trouble, Plissken pops a cap in Ghostie's ass from aways back. The GB's then zap him while he's down. If they survive the M.I.B that is.

5. Harley Q. then has to tangle with Cheetarah, who's itching for a kill. Harley proceeds to get mangled in classical Roman persecution style. Nasty stuff here kiddies. You may not wanna look.

6. The Jawas ride into town in their sandcrawler (oooooooooh, yeah.) and crush the cookie boys into a fine paste.

7. Les'see that leaves Buffy alone to defeat Cheetarah. Cheetarah's fed quite enough and is judoed and staked easily. Buffy then sweet talks (like she has to!) her way out of this huge mess and goes back to vampire town, The Ghostbusters drive off in their cheesy car, The Jawas go back to junking, and Conan and Plissken go out for ale and wenches.

Thanks for a lot of great fights you guys! Peace and may your God go with you. L8er.


Tatters writes:

For a final blowout battle, this match just doesn't cut it. Honestly, how can you retire without having a battle of "Dr. Manhattan vs. Solar, Man of the Atom"? Oh, well, the best characters never get the spotlight.

I have to go with the team that has the Tick, simply because nobody on the other side has enough firepower to take out the nigh-invulnerable moron. Sailor Moon's ability to charm him into submission will be prevented by the Tick's simple observation that the team with Snake (a convicted felon, the Jawas (repo aliens without regard for rightful ownership) and Conan ("a thief, a reaver, a slayer") is clearly the side of EVIL! Although Cheetarah's ability to rip the hell out of Buffy and Harley will make for a nasty body count, Ghostrider will back them up after toasting both Elves and Jawas (they're both forces of sin). The MIB's are more competent than the Ghostbusters, and they have access to non-Terran tech. No contest.


Katrover writes:

You're leaving?? NOOOOooooooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOooooo.... For the love of um.....cake, please don't! It's not worth it!! jay's All Stars takes it all. You heard me. I Katrover Swatroad, has voted against my home team at the BMSSCE. Why? With packed powerhouses like MiB and Buffy, they must win. It was those two names whom swayed my vote. I hope you're happy, Jay. Now the Sailor Senshi probably wouldn't want to work at Springfield Battlefield anymore. Of course, this means I can have Acme vs. Anime(TM) all to myself.....hmmmmm Go Jay all the Way!! That rythmes!


Rich Stellato writes:

Sniff...Sob...It's the end of an era. Good luck to you guys. Now for the battle, I voted for Pat's All Stars because he was behind in the scoring. Ultimately, though, I think you're both going to lose when MY all-star team of Unicron, the Decepticons, and Voltron arrive. Ah well...it's been a heck of a ride. Thanks for providing a bored college student with something to do.


DamieN Brimstone writes:

This is indeed our darkest hour. Pat is leaving. Jay is leaving. Callisto is leaving. If anybody wishes to put me out of my misery please do so now *grits teeth and waits*. No takers? Oh well, on with the fight. Jay's team is preordained to lose. For one very simple reason. It has Buffy. ie: The teenaged temptress who has defied fate one two many times. Twice now, she's one CBUB fights in which she was totally outclassed. Twice now, the laws of universal logic have ceased to function due to her supporters. Well, the third time MUST be the charm. Buffy's entrance in the this match ensures that her cute little ass will finally recieve the kicking she so richly deserves. Whether she goes down in a hail of gunfire from Snake, or she's literally torn apart by Conan's mad fight skills and herculian physicality matters not: BUFFY WILL GO DOWN! (and not in a fun way.) Destiny cannot be denied this time. That being said, Sailor Moon, the real Ghostbusters (you know those habitually defeat gods), resident speedster Cheetarah and those wily Jawas ensure a victroy for Team Pat. And now, in the vain hopes of getting attention, I hereby commence the Sacred Chant(TM)... CALL-IST-O, CALL-IST-O, CALL-IST-O!!!


Maskim Xuul writes:

Gentlemen! Thank you. I've enjoyed the ride. As to the current match-up...an interesting pair of teams. I will address them per the natural leaders of the groups, Ghostrider and Conan. (Natural leaders, BTW, does not mean excellent leaders. Both of these are solos. But they each have the presence to take command.) Conan-not a sophisticated tactician-will naturally target the largest, strongest of the enemy fighters...being the Tick. The Tick is not a killer, but Conan can't kill him, either, and the Tick's strength is much greater. Conan down. Harley and Cheetarah are probably itching for a rematch. Harley's probably has something nasty ready for her this time. Cheetarah's tricks haven't changed. Call it a tie. The MIBs and the Ghostbusters are natural opponents - weirdhunters with big guns. But the GB's aren't experienced with fighting humans. Indeed, they're not especially violent people. They will probably direct their attentions to GhostRider. While J and K quietly explain to them that none of this actually happened. GhostBusters down. Buffy and Sailor Moon - both ridiculous cartoon schoolgirls in short skirts, catering to the indecent-liberties-with-a-minor crowd. They'll probably hate each others' lipstick. The Moonie has the power advantage, though. Buffy falls in a savage hair-pulling fight. What do Jawas do when large guns start going off? They run, that's what. They're not dumb. But they might take the Elves with them to sell as baking slaves. Call it a tie, 'cause neither group is gonna have any other effect on the fight. Which leaves Ghost Rider and Snake Plissken. While Snake is way out of his league here, he is also the most likely of the crowd to actually shoot and kill someone. That will get Ghostie's attention right quick, once he's shrugged off the particle beams from the 'Busters. Plissken will drop sobbing, and Ghostie will be free to help his teammates mop up the stragglers. Ghost Rider and his crew take it with no significant losses. (I do not count Buffy or the Elves as significant losses.) Oh, and Harley? If you're out of work now, drop me a line. Bring the puppies. I got a list of names.

Godspeed!


SonicHunter writes:

Before I begin my commentary, I bid Pat , Jay AND Callisto a heartfelt farewell from the Arena of Khazan. May your travels be enjoyable ( and may you come back occasionaly to do guest spots. Hint Hint !! ) Lets see.... RIght away, the Kebbler elves will be taken out by the Jawas . Xena-like elf Amazons or not, they cannot stand up to the power of cool dudes in hoods with glowing eyes who have a sandcrawler AND a buncha suicide bomber droids. In the misdst of their premature celebrating, most of the Jawas will get fried by the combined blasts of the MIB and Ghostrider. The remaining Jawas will distract the MIB long enough to prevent them from helping Ghostrider battle the Ghostbusters.

Ghostrider will be in a ghost trap in under ten minutes, and most likely, one or more of the Ghostbusters will have been killed. The remaining Ghostbusters will engage the MIB in a heavy firefight of proton packs vs aliens doohickeys. I don't know which type of firepower is superior, so I consider this a draw.

Meanwhile, Buffy, The Tick and Harley Quinn will be in a heated battle with Sailor Moon, Conan, Snake Plisskin, and Cheetarah. Being somewhat overconfident, Cheetarah will take on Harley, thinking that she will achieve another easy win. She recieves a rather painful death when Harley simply hits her with a dose of Laugh gas. This wil leave an even three members of each All-Star Team left for the final drag down no lookin' back showdown. Shouting out her "I'm Sailor Moon!" speech , Sailor Moon will charge Harley Quinn . Quinn will reach for her bag of nasty things , only to have it knocked away by Sailor Moon's tiarra . Then the evil clown girl ( no offense Harl, but I like SM more that you ) will then get moon dusted by Sailor Moon's Moon Scepter Attack .

The two dunces of the Teams ( Conan & The Tick ) will be about even. ( another stalemate here folks ) Then, Sailor Moon will take on Buffy. Another frustrating stalemate, The Champion Of Love & Justice vs The Best Vampire Slayer on any Network EVER!! Lastly, Harley Quinn vs Snake Plisskin . Before they hit each other, Harley and Snake get a good look at each other's eyes. They fall madly in love and simply leave the Arena. Ten Hours Later.... In the charred remains of the Arena of Khazan, a triumphant all star team will emerge. Conan will let out a battle cry, holding the Tick's severed head in his hands. The MIB will shake hands with the Ghostbusters, and sign them on a new agents. Buffy and Sailor Moon will patch up their differences and go out with their friends to the Arena Of Khazan's malt shop. All in all , Pat's All Stars will reign SUPREME !!


Darth Maxx writes:

Well, first, many kudos to both of our departing commentators. I know I speak for us all when I say that you will be sorely missed. It's been a great ride, and I've been glad to tag along. Peace & Long life wherever your Real Lives take you...

As for the rest of it, I see it in this fashion: The two teams meet up in the arena. First to square off are Agents K & J and the Ghostbusters. The MiB pull out of this for one reason and one reason ONLY: real firepower. Ghostbusters have much more experience, but, unfortunately, their weapons can only hurt ectoplasm. Egon is smart enough to realize this difference, and ducks out of the firefight before he gets killed. Next, Buffy vs. Sailor Moon, as, naturally, the two female superheroes square off (Harlequin is a villan, remember?). The dialog goes something like this: Buffy : HAI-YAAAA!
Sailor Moon: (Insert appropriate anime sound effect for major destructive blast here). Once again, this contest comes down to shere firepower, and, despite combat skills, Buffy isn't fighting a vampire here, can't take advantage of Kewl Powers, and gets nailed by the Standard Anime Power [tm] of BIG ENERGY BLAST!

The Tick is good, but not enough to outmatch the combined might of Conan and Cheetarah, who, quite naturally, link up. I mean, Barbarian and Animal Woman, it's a match made in... wherever.

Ghostrider gives the Conan/Cheetarah mix a what-for, but, in the end, gets nailed by Egon (remember him?). Of course, he escapes the entrapment chamber while Egon's on the way home and rampages through New York, but that's a different story.... :)

I've never seen the character of Snake Pilskin before, but I assume he's the guy with an automatic weapon and a sight, and, as such, can probably outclass Harlequin... That outfit is just too visible, after all...

Then, finally, we come down to the heart of the fight: Keebler Elves vs. Jawas. Now, the Elves put up a good defense with their magic (no k, please), but it doesn't take the Jawas very long to start blasting away with those little energy-stunner pistols of theirs and short out the elves, who turn out to be the Keebler manufacturing 'droids in disguise.

So, to make a long story short, an honorable victory by Pat's All-Stars, followed by a tearful fairwell to both of our Correspondants over at Khazan central. Hail and Farewell.


Hackrat writes:

What can I say, you gotta love Buffy *swoons in ecstasy* And you gotta love the kebbler elves, no one can resist their magical cookie treats, not even barbarians, ghostbusters, or sailor moon! Besides he's got the coolness of Will Smith in the MIB's! That and Harley Quinn although annoying always seems to bust out of Arkham and cause mischief. Jay's got it in the bag, sorry pat but you'll be waste for the garbage man on thursday


Aubri writes:

I've been a fan ever since Macross vs the Transformers, and I'm sorry to see you guys leave! On the fight, though, I have to go with Pat's team. This fight is so big, any advantages of one hero is negated by another, but generally I think Pat has the edge of flexibility. Buffy really only knows Vampires; she's out of her league. That puts Jay down by one. Also, do you really think Keebler elves could do anything besides make cookies? Given, that might distract Sailor Moon, but she always needs help anyway; no real advantage there.

The Ghostbusters have a real target in this case, Ghostrider, which will keep both of them busy and at even odds. Skullhead will need backup. The Tick is pretty much useless; his dearth of brains means he's either going to blunder about aimlessly or require constant attention to direct him; someone's going to be distracted by that, whether it's Tick or someone taking the time to steer him. All of Pat's team can pretty much take care of themselves, and see what needs doing.

Oh, and the Jawas will steal everything of value on the MiB.


Neodymium writes:

I hate to vote against my boy the Tick, but his team has no chance. Pat's Team: Snake by himself could probably take out half of the opposing team, and with Conan helping him out... it's a slaughter. Sailor Moon.. well.. come on! She's SAILOR MOON! She can't lose because she's just too cute. Cheetarah makes excellent cannon fodder, and Jawas are the bomb shiznit. Now for Jay's Team: Buffy is worthless, the elves are not even made for combat(they should stay in that big tree of theirs and make me some cookies), Ghost Rider is a bad-ass but not when facing the GHOSTbusters, although I do like Harley she is pretty ineffectual in a fight, J and K may have cool gizmos but nothing good enough to stop everyone. My final say... Pat's All-Stars all the way.


Dark Queen writes:

Sorry to hear that you guys will be leaving. It has been a great 110 issues and I have enjoyed your broadcasts of the many fights of the Khazan arena.

I guess we need to show my opinion in this matter. I agree with the ghostbusters taking down ghostrider, that seems to be the obvious choice. Jay, what's up with the Keebler Elves? If you expect them to go against the Jawas then you might want to rethink that stratagie. Jawas have weaponry, and are twice as big as Elves. What are the Elves going to do? Use their rainbow magic to turn the Jawas into rainbow colors?

There might be trouble with Buffy but Sailor Moon has got the moves to stop Buffy dead in her tracks. ( No pun intended.) Good luck to the winner(s) whoever that may be. Pat and Jay, good luck in your travels. I hope to see you return someday if not so that we can see how Callisto handles you too. :)


Jace Von Varius writes:

The only way to deciet his is to base it on who attacks whom. But we all know who this is gonna come down to. Regardless of the others on the team, with the MIB, the Tick, and Ghostrider, Jay's team has the pure power. The ghostbusters win because they always get the first shot off. Here, well, what the bloody @#%! do they have that can hurt the Tick or Ghostrider? Sailor Moon is the big strength of Pat's team, but even she will be annihilated, 'cause her friends always have to rescue her. She draws her weapon 'bout as quick as the power ranger megazord. K and J will turn EVERYTHING on the battlefield into burning piles of goo. can Who there can actually withstand some BOOM-Shot? Ghostrider is...Well, he's GHOSTRIDER. This is the guy who can kill demons from hell. The pure spirirt of Vengance. His bike acts as an ally, and that frikkin' chain can take any of the enemy down. "Nuff Said!


§indel 77 writes:

Pat and Jay, it'll be sad to see you go, but you've given us lots of great battles, and I salute you.

Sorry Jay, but I have to go for Pat's stars. How could I vote against Jawas and and The Ghostbusters! Sorry Harley Quinn, I know you can forgive me!

Till Next Time, this is §indel 77, signing off.


T-1000(I will miss you, CBUB) writes:

As a long time fan of the CBUB I wish to say farewell to Pat and Jay, and especially the Judge Callisto. The CBUB has ever been my favorite web site to visit in my free time. As to who I think would win in this massive tagteam event, I have to go with Jay and his killer team. First lets look at the line up. Tick: Super strong, nigh-invulnerable. The guy has survived being blasted into outer space, being chewed by massive dinosaur and falling off a 30 story building without even a scratch. Ghostrider: Super strong. One all around mean biker. He has the Penance Stair which has brought down mighty beings like Galactus. Men-in Black: Have tangled with the scourges of the universe without even having bad nightmares. Have the most advanced weapons in the universe. Have succesfully concealed knowledge of the exsistence of extra terrestail life for years. So what if they lost to Marvin the Martain, that guy is one bad dude. Buffy: Undefeated in the CBUB. She is one major hotty as well as a killer fighter. No way she is going down today. Harly Quinn: An amazing acrobat. She is also very likely to have tons of killer gadgets that she borrowed from her puddin'. I may not like her that much but she is undefeated in the CBUB, even though she only fought one fight. Keebler elves: At first I didn't think they were that tough but ever since the famous elves vs. elves fight, I now see that they reall know how to crack open a barrel of whup ass. I am really, really going to miss you Pat, Jat, and especially Callisto. However, I have to say that Jay's team wins.


WhereWolf, the Happy, Willing Lapdog to our goddess, Callisto writes:

As much as it pains me to vote this way, Pat... I hadda' go with Jay on this one. With the exception of Snake Plisskin, Jay's jus' got the coolness factor in this one. Sorry, buddy. :( If you'd had one of the SWAT Cats in place of Cheetarah, that might have swung my vote, but you're team's goin' up against The "I Am MIGHTY!" Tick, dude... And Buffy (grrr-ROWL!) Summers... AND Harley "HEY, Puddin'" Quinzel! I see the Jawas taking out the elves easily enough. No chance in 'ell of 'em goin' after anything over 3' tall. Ghostbusters got "creamed" by a giant marshmellow man. So, Harley's the one to watch in that bout. Probably gonna' turn out to be a pie-fest the likes of which No One has seen since the Three Stooges were in top form. It really doesn't matter how the rest of the fight goes... the deciding factor is going to be: Buffy vs. Snake. They're the TOP COOLNESS'ez in this battle. But Buffy's Top Coolnessezier! The czich's beaten Spike. Snake is only 2 letters off from Spike. Coincidence?... I don't think so. Hate ta' see you dudes leavin'. *sniffle* Do you know how Boring Tartarus will be without ya'?


Sailor Dragonfyre writes:

you know, this is a hard choice, Pat, i love the fact that you have Sailor Moon on your team, but unfortunatly Jay is right, the chocolate goodness of the elves will render her usless, and although cheetarah is the coolest of the eighties characters, buffy or even harley will take care of her after she has exauhsted herself running away.

for all the rest, well, i just can't vote for Pat because of Snake, his last movie made my eyes hurt, and i think ghost rider will take hime down before those cheesy ghost busters will zap him. 'nough said. GO TO IT JAY'S ALL STARS!!


The Cat writes:

Jay before you even think you have a chance hire a stylist. Like, ohmigod, Cheetarah's make up is making me feel dizzy. And I'm not even going to go into the dangers of steriods.


Achin' Dave writes:

*sniff* *Sob* I'm gonna miss this place! It just won't be the same anymore... I've been coming here almost every week since Defiant Vs. White Star and, while I haven't always agreed with the results (Emperor Palpatine losing to Raiden? I DON'T THINK SO!) I've always enjoyed the fights. Ah well... all good things must come to an end, as they say. On to the fight... My vote this week goes to Jay's All-Stars. Why? Well,as always there are many factors that go into deciding who to vote for, but let's nail it down to just one. BABES. Buffy and Harley are SOOOOO far beyond any babeliness that Sailor Moon and Cheetara could ever hope to achieve. Especially that Harley... man, she looks so good in that outfit... Quite simply, the all-powerful babeliness of these two gifted young women will overcome any resistance the male members of the opposition team could muster. They'll be queing up to take out Cheetara and S.M. for our heroines. The moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of hormones... So long fellas. We'll miss your incisive commentary.


Googleshng writes:

One could spend all day saying who can beat who out of these matchups, but I think it really comes down to who would work best as a team. I mean there is going to be some MAJOR culture shock involved here and some people would just be totally freaked out by their team mates. Let's look at coping skills here, shall we? On Pat's team, first we have the Ghost Busters. While they can pretty much take anything without batting an eye, think really hard about their weapons. Conan and Cheetarah will both be fighting at close range, and the accuracy of those proton packs isn't that great as you know. Ouch. Next, we have Sailor Moon. Do I even have to dignify this with a response? Sailor Moon freaks out over EVERYTING, the only thing Sailor Moon can ever do successfully is pull of one attack, against an enemy that is so distracted that even with a 15 second sequence they can't dodge. Plus Sailor Moon is almost CONSTANTLY freaking out upon seeing her enemies. These next three would probably be OK, if they didn't leave in disgust upon seeing Sailor Moon, there's a real clash of themes there. As for the Jawas, They're JAWAS! Now, as for Jay's Team, first there's the Men in Black. Being able to cope with extremely odd situations is basically their job. I haven't seen the TV show of Buffy, so, going by the movie, I think she's been exposed to enough combative silliness to handle this. The Tick would have NO problem with ANY team. I mean, The Tick was once turned into a 6 inch tall 2 headed bluebird that could only speak high school french and he took it pretty well! These next to I don't know much about, but I am under the impression one is very professional and the other's insane, yes? Again, no conflicts. That leaves the Keebler Elves. I seem to recall from the elves fight way back when that they are BLOODTHIRSTY little buggers, they probably won't even NOTICE who else is fighting. Therefore, I think Jay's team will take it just from their lack of infighting, besides, the only way to really take The Tick out of commision is to send him into orbit and none of these people have the means to pull THAT off. Oh, there's also the antenae thing, but I doubt anyone would try it.


Z-man writes:

Thank you Jay for putting Buffy on your team. Here is the list. On the message board, we decided that Ghostrider would take the Ghostbusters down easily. It's not even a contest when the hellfire gets into the ring, and the motorcycle does more than tip the balance. The Tick can take out Conan like yesterday's trash. SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON The Men in Black take out the Jawas with one noisy cricket that happens to blast them into Sailor Moon. Once Sailor Moon is down, Buffy can finish off the Power Ranger Rip-off even faster. It would be a fair fight even if Sailor Moon were up. Harley has a good supply of Rage(sigh, TM, I suppose) in her to begin with. This time, she is not going to go down when confronted with Cheetarah again. Cheetarah will be too busy gloating from her first match-up with the Clown Girl. And the Cookie Elves are pretty much toast. What did you expect? The remaining five gang up on Snake, and he wastes his ammo on the Tick. One Penance stare from Ghostrider, and he's finished. And the MIB have better weapons. I'm going to miss you guys. It was fun while it lasted, and it will survive. Your commitment to your fans even now is admirable. Bye.


AndyAnime writes:

Well, you can say one thing: No one would have expected this! Okay, for the purposes of this match, I matched the opponents against each other like so: Men in Black vs. Ghostbusters
Men in Black, definitely. They have more powerful weapons.
Jay 1, Pat 0 Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs. Sailor Moon
Buffy. I mean, in the earlier episodes, Sailor Moon was useless without either the other Sailor Scouts or Tuxedo Mask (or the Sailor Shinji and Tuxedo Kamen, for you sticklers to detail) Even if it's not the one from mid-series, she still doesn't stand much of a chance against Buffy.
Jay 2, Pat 0 The Tick vs. Conan
Well, Conan is definitely smarter, but The Tick is probably a LOT stronger, AND he's Nigh Invulnerable(TM).
Jay 3, Pat 0 Ghostrider vs. Snake Plisskin
Now we all know Snake has done some terrible things in his time. One dose of the Penance Stare from Ghost Rider, and Snake will be begging for mercy for the first time in his life.
Jay 4, Pat 0 Harley Quinn vs. Cheetarah
I see Cheetarah beating Harley once again.
Jay 4, Pat 1 Keebler Elves vs. Jawas
The Keebler Elves don't stand a chance, unless of course they happen to have something like Plutonium-Peanut Butter Brownie Bars sitting around, which I doubt.
Jay 4, Pat 2 Well, look at it this way Pat. You didn't walk away empty handed. Farewell and godspeed, gentlemen.


Darth SPOCK 3:16 writes:

Pon Far 4 Ever !!
Buffy is da bomb baby and so is Harley ! So I have to side with Jay's team on this one . In the end I had to go with the babe factor on this one cause I could not make my my mind up any other way . Cause everybody on both teams tottally kick but in battle just look back at them Elfs lay the smack down on an enemy when they want to . Hey I do have to say this it has been a real Gas reading all ya guy's highly illogical battles you have had here I and many many other people/Vulcans will miss all the laughs and chuckles we had when something completely wacky would go down in the fights and the great way ya did commentary on them . So to you Jay & Pat I say Hats off to ya for job well done cause ya made us laugh till it hurt ! "The Farce is Strong with these two". Your Battles where the stuff of Legends . Live long and may the farce be with you ! fare well ... Scotty one to beam up . "Darth Spock 3:16 fades out ".


HexxJo writes:

My god is this going to be a massacre. Sailor Moon can single handedly take down every one on the opposing team, including Ghost Rider. Pennance Stare? Feh! Sailor Moon has a pure heart for crying out loud! That stare won't be effecting her at all. As for the others, The Tick might give her some trouble, but the rest are nothing compared to the monstrosities that she's run into in her day.

The others on her team can sit back and take the day off. Usagi will deal out the death today...


Charge Man writes:

Let the statistics tell the story:
Estimated Number of People who will use the Phrase "Who ya gonna call": 28
Estimated Number of People who will use the Phrase "Thundercats Ho": 37
Estimated Number of People who will use the Phrase "Protecting the Earth from the scum of the Universe": 65
Estimated Number of People who will use the Phrase "Spoon": 89
Estimated Number of People who will say Harley will be helped by Joker: 91
Estimated Number of People who will say the Keeblers are a bunch of short-asses and can't do jack: 97
Estimated Number of People who will say the Jawas are a bunch of short-asses and can't do jack: 97
Estimated Number of Rabid Warsie Idiots who will scream "Where the &^%$ is Darth Maul?!": 307 The stats don't lie. Farewell, Pat and Jay. You will be missed.


The Sandman writes:

I'm going to miss you guys, but Jay has the superior team.

Cmon, the Ghostbusters won't be able to do jack to Ghostrider. The MIB will take out Conan by erasing his memory and persuading him to their team. Buffy will take out both Sailor Moon and Snake Plisskin and the Tick will take out Cheetarah with his stupidily funny luck.

Jay's team will kick some major ass!


Zisteau writes:

*Sniff, sniff*, I'm about to cry. But anyway, as to this fight, its really decided by two things.One: Conan. Go read some Robert E. Howard Conan stories, come back, and you'll be agreeing with me that he could take down Jay's entire team by himself. Summed up in a word: Crom!!!Two: The Jawas. Don't screw with little short guys in robes with Ion guns. I'm serious, don't do it.Summed up in a word: Utinni!!!


Mockingbird writes:

I'm sorry, Jay...but Sailor Moon alonewould take out half of your team. Addto that mix the Ghostbusters with theirguns and the Jawa's with their guns andthe rest of your team gets mopped up.Having Cheetara doesn't hurt, either...she could take down all the human onesat superspeed before the rest of your team could blink. GO PAT!

THE BATTLE

JAY:   A lot of analyzing here Pat and to which team member might carrying the day. All right, our two teams are lining up and are ready to get down and dirty. Whoa! The Ghostbusters are activating their 'nuclear accelerators'… I can hear their packs energizing all the way up here.


PAT:   Cheetarah is stretching out her cat-like muscles while Sailor Moon has begun her transformation into a Sailor Scout. Conan stands grim while Snake Plisskin lights a smoke and one half-dozen Jawas chatter at each other in a bundled group. Looking across to the other team, now...


JAY:   Ghost Rider readies his battle chain, looking very intimating as Buffy gives him a side glance, obviously thinking if she's fighting on the right side. Harley Quinn is cracking a joke about the other team, while the Tick is standing heroic with that HUGE chin. The Keebler Elves are in a football huddle before breaking to line up to fight. Agents K and J puts on their shades with their guns ready… I see Jay is still using the noisy cricket. Both teams are ready and we're waiting for signal to start the match.


PAT:   Callisto moves to the edge of her balcony. She flashes a bloodthirsty smile and screams at the sky! She makes the signal, We Are On!


JAY:   The two teams charge forward, some of them taking advantage of miniature concrete walls for cover as they advance. However some of more superpowered members like the Tick are barreling forward to fight. Snake Plisskin takes aim at the guy in blue with the grenade launcher mounted under his rifle…


TICK:   SPOOOONNNN!




PAT:   The Jawas follow Snake's lead and lower one-half dozen blasters upon the charging blue man...


TICK:   Prepare to FACE MY JUSTICE!!!


Snake:   Judge this!


Explosion:   KA-BOOM




JAY:   Doh! Ahem… Ladies and gentlemen, the horrific sound you just heard was the Tick getting hit by the combined power of a grenade launcher and one half dozen blasters. His body is now lodged head first in the arena wall!


PAT:   And here come the rest of the team mates, screaming for vengeance! Ghost Rider charges in the lead, Buffy the Vampire Slayer siding behind him upon his hellspawn Harley. The Keebler Elves are scampering forward in blood rage. The MIB have moved into range... and are laying down a suppressing fire on the other team!


JAY:   Yes! Two Jawas fall. One took an arrow from Buffy's crossbow and another was reduced to tattered robes from Agent J's noisy cricket!


JAWA:   UUTINIII!!!




PAT:   A gaping hole opens in the teams defenses with the Jawa slaughter! Ghostrider and Buffy roar into the breach! WAIT!!! Conan - out of nowhere - rushes, leaps... rips Buffy off the back of the cycle!! And now it's the Ghostbusters on the scene!!!


JAY:   Oh god… I can't watch this!


WINSTON:   On three.


Egon, Peter and Winston:   THREE!!!




PAT:   Proton pack streams light up the arena pit! Ghost Rider is caught by the three... he appears immobilized!


Egon:   We Got Him! We Got Him!


Peter:   Stay on target! Don't cross the streams!




JAY:   They're reeling him into position to put him to trap... but the spirit of vengeance is fighting! He's thrashing about nearly pulling the Ghostbusters off their feet…


Peter:   Whoa! We got a whooper here boys... Anyone remembered to bring a trap????




PAT:   Big action Jay, big action. But let's turn now to the face off between Conan and Buffy! It's the Sword of Crom vs. a Big Ass wooden stake and all bets are off!


Conan:   You should learn to fight with a real weapon, and not with a toothpick.


Buffy:   Wow! You spoke an entire sentence without pausing once, your mother should be proud!




JAY:   Oh-oh, those were fighting words Pat. Conan goes after Buffy, swinging with his trusty sword. Buffy drops her stake and brings her hands up together and catches the lethal descending sword blade between them!


PAT:   Jay, you keep us updated on that action while I roam the field. The MiB have targeted the Ghostbusters! But some Jawas are targeting the Men in Black... wait... the Tick!


JAY:   Buffy is laying into Conan with a fury of punches after knocking away his sword but he's one tough Barbarian… wait… Harley Quinn and Cheetarah are facing off. Harley is cradling a massive wooden maul while the female Thundercat holds her battle staff. They're slowly advancing towards one another.


HARLEY:   The circle is now complete. When we last met I was the learner but now I am the master.


CHEETARAH:   You just got done watching the Phantom Menace… Right?


TICK:   SPOOON!!!!




PAT:   My God! A flying tackle aimed at Cheetarah has missed - she split too fast! and... I can't look...


JAY:   Cheetarah is now charging at Harley! Harley takes a wild swing but misses the speeding Thundercat. Cheetarah speeds around - stops behind Harley! Wait! Harley's swing was too strong. Harley spins uncontrollably around... and her wooden maul catches the Thundercat in the breadbasket!! What luck!


PAT:   Ooof! I bet that hurt. Jay, I'm moving now to update on the Ghost Buster - Ghost Rider situation. The Ghost Rider has been trapped by the 'Buster proton packs, but has so far resisted full capture. It looks like Sailor Moon is about to jump into this fray to tip the balance...


JAY:   And things are seesawing between the slayer and the barbarian. Conan uses his strength and size advantage to try and overcome Buffy's slayer strength. He grapples with her and tosses Buffy like a sack of potatoes against the arena wall…


PAT:   ... Sailor Moon is winding up with the Moon Scepter Elimination... Ghost Rider fixes a gaze on the 15 year old girl, trying to stop her with the Penance Stare!


JAY:   … Pat, big development between Harley and Cheetarah. Harley jumped on top of the Thundercat before she could get back up! Harley viciously pounds - no, she's now savagely headbutting the nearly unconscious Cheetarah!


HARLEY:   THIS IS…


Cheetarah's Skull WHACK!!


HARLEY:   WHAT YOU GET…


Cheetarah's Skull WHACK!!


HARLEY:   FOR GETTING ON…


Cheetarah's Skull WHACK!!


HARLEY:   MY BAD SIDE!!


Cheetarah's Skull WHACK!!


HARLEY:   Anymore questions? Owie… I think I over did it… aspirin…




PAT:   ...Sailor Moon and Ghost Rider lock eyes... his empty, burning sockets seem to bore directly into the young girls soul....


JAY:   Cheetarah is out of it… There is a massive running gunfight between the MIB and the Keebler elves VS Snake Plisskin and the remaining Jawas. The Keebler elves are throwing explosion pastry on the other team position forcing them back. Wait! Snake jumps up and machine guns down 3 elves as they tried to advance…


PAT:   ... The Ghost Riders Penance Stare may be having an effect on Sailor Moon. The Ghost Busters hold steady - still unable to trap the rider, but holding him still...


JAY:   It's almost impossible to follow everything that's happening here on the arena floor Pat! Conan recovers his sword and is advancing on Buffy as she jumps back onto her feet. The two combatants ready themselves for another round… Harley is advancing on Conan from behind with her wooden maul!


HARLEY:   Well, THIS day was a total waste of makeup. I put down that Thunderkitty in under 30 seconds and what can you do, you ape of a barbarian?


BUFFY:   Quinn, watch it! This guy pulls no punches!


PAT:   ... Jay, The ol' Penance stare was useless against the pure of heart young girl. Sailor Moon was simply distracted by a cute looking guy in the stands. Now she winds up with the old Moon Scepter Elimination!


Sailor Moon:   Mooon! Scepter!! Elimination!!!


Egon:   Now! Now!


Peter:   Cross The Streams!


PAT:   That's all she wrote for Ghost Rider.


JAY:   So much for the Spirit of Vengeance… Conan turns slicing at Harley with his sword. He cuts away half of the wooden maul, leaving only part of the handle in her hands. Poor Harley is more than a little surprised… She's freaking.


HARLEY:   Heheheheh… Nice trick… BUFFY! SAVE ME!!


PAT:   The Ghost Busters are hot footing it to reinforce the Jawas and Snake... oh my....


The Tick:   SPOOOON!!!!


JAY:   Buffy shakes her head in disbelief before leaping to the rescue. Conan tries to run the teenage slayer through but she ducks onto one knee and sweeps the barbarian feet out from underneath him… Harley then hands Buffy something…


HARLEY:   Hit him with this!


PAT:   The Tick comes crashing down on all three Ghost Busters! Wrecking their proton packs and knocking them unconscious! Oh, my! What a hit!! Sailor Moon, now... going to try to lend a hand in this situation....


Sailor Moon:   Moon! Tiara! Magic!!!


JAY:   Buffy looks at the weapon that Harley handed her… Knowing Quinn, it'll be something that'll put the fear of god into any enemy.


BUFFY:   YOU want me to stop Conan with a rubber chicken?!


HARLEY:   Trust me! Hit him but hold your breath!


PAT:   ..as Sailor Moon winds up with the Tiara attack... little elves appear around her! Teleporting into her field of view, it's the Keebler Elves! My God! They're packing double-fudge!


Ebeneezer Elf:   Hey little girl - wanna piece of candy?


JAY:   With a shrug of the shoulders Buffy grasps the rubber bird tightly by the neck. Buffy winds up and belts the barbarian warrior up side the head… There's a eruption of some sort of white stuff from the chicken… Conan is starting to yawn… It's sleeping powder!


PAT:   The elves are stuffing cookies and fudge sticks in the helpless girl's mouth! There's too many of them! Sailor Moon is helpless before their chocolate attack!!


JAY:   Pat, Conan is now sleeping like a baby. After seeing their more powerful teammates being defeated one by one, Snake Plisskin and the remaining Jawas fall back to regroup for what could be their last stand.


PAT:   Jay, I'm afraid it doesn't look good. The Keebler Elves smash Sailor Moon repeatedly with bags of chocolate chip. She's of no further help!


JAY:   Snake and the Jawas are quickly regrouping - wait - one of the Jawas is hit by a flying rubber chicken…


PAT:   It's that sleeping powder filled bird thrown by a charging Buffy and Harley Quinn. Snake is not impressed as the members of his surviving teammates are now falling asleep…


JAY:   He levels his rifle and fires several long bursts upon the two advancing women, forcing them to dive for cover.


PAT:   The MiB are circling around trying to out flank them…


The Tick:   SPOOOON!!!!


JAY:   The Tick is again barreling forward against all sense and logic…


EXPLOSION:   KA-BOOM!!


PAT:   And again Snake blasted the Tick out of the air like the big blue target that he is.


JAY:   However the Tick gave the MiB the chance to advance close enough to use their Neutralizers.


Agent K:   Watch the birdie!


Neutralizer:   Zzzaappppp!!!!


Snake:   Huh??? …Hey, who are you losers?


PAT:   They erased Snake's memory!! But how much of it? He's looking at the various people surrounding him… He stares at Harley and her colorful costume.


Snake:   And how did I ended up in a freaking Mother Goose story book. I'm out of here!


JAY:   Snake turns and walks over a Jawa, leaving through the main arena gates. Well, he might have forgotten who he was fighting but he's still a badass mother@!*^%@.


PAT:   Hush yo mouth!


JAY:   Jus talkin' 'bout Snake


PAT:   We can dig it. The remaining Jawas quickly surrenders as they're cornered by the MiB, Buffy, Harley and a slightly battered Tick.


JAY:   That's it! My team has carried the day but why am I so sad.


PAT:   That was our last much.


JAY:   Oh, that's right.


PAT:   You were always a quick one Jay.


THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Pat's All-Stars: 632

Jay's All-Stars: 866

THE WRAP UP

PAT:   All in all a good show. I think the audience won this one. Hey, here comes Callisto.

Callisto:   Good job you two. Now pack your stuff; we're blowing this popsicle stand.

PAT:   Jay, it's been a pleasure to work with you all these many months. And to the audience, thanks again and be well!

JAY:   Pat, I always enjoyed working side by side with you on the CBUB. Together we put did some pretty colorful commentaries. For the fans, we all appreciate your loyal following and your weekly attendance. I know without your support we would have never gone as far as we did and we thank everyone of you. This is Jay Peoples… As much as I hate to say this…. Bid you all a good day and a fond farewell.

PAT, JAY and Callisto:   *waving at the camera* That's all folks!

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

All the characters of Pat's All-Stars is the property (c) of their many respective owners. Not us.

All the characters of Jay's All-Stars is the property (c) of their many respective owners. Not us.

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles