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Martial Mayhem - Round One!

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Dr. Doom vs. Magneto


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The Punisher vs. France


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Martial Mayhem - Round Two!


Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs


Men in Black vs. Marvin the Martian


Mario vs. Sonic

ISSUE #103

Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

I've Got The Power
star star
Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix
With your Guest Hosts Rod and Jim


Parallax: Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern, was one of the most powerful beings in the universe, and a righteous defender of good. That is, until his city was destroyed. When Jordan tried to use his power ring to rebuild his city, including the people, the cosmic beings who regulated his power revoked it. Hal Jordan... no longer the Green Lantern... now Parallax, Went insane. He tried to make everything right again, in his own way.... by destroying the Green Lanterns of a hundred different worlds and eventually taking all the cosmic power into himself. He began to play God and remold the Universe, and it took every hero available to stop his dark reign. In the end, he sacrificed himself to save the Earth. Some might consider him redeemed... many still consider him a villian. Dark Phoenix: The mutant telepath known as Jean Grey, one of Earth's most powerful mentalists, possessed by the comic entity known as the Phoenix. Grey found that she could not control the Phoenix persona that inhabited her, and, with the help of Professor Charles Xavier, she was able to lock the Phoenix force away in the far recesses of her mind. That is, until the day she was captured and brainwashed by an evil telepath. The Phoenix force, freed from Grey's mental blocks, absorbed all the dark thoughts and desires that had been released within Grey's mind.... and sought to act on them. Now as the Dark Phoenix, she destroys entire solar systems on her mad quest for power. While in a lifeless sector of space our contestants sense each other. Parallax sees a grave threat to innocents across the universe and will attempt to stop her here, before lives are lost. The Dark Phoenix sees a possible stumbling block to her plans of destruction and will hand him oblivion.

Join us now for a battle we had to call...

The Good, The Bad... and both Insane


JIM:   LIVE! From the promenade of the U.S.S. Cooper, I'm Jim Mies! We've got a real barn-burner for you here today! Two titanic titans! Two gargantuan giants! Two Pulse Pounding Powerhouses BABY!

ROD:   Um...yeah. Hello and welcome. I'm Rod Friendly. We're filling in for Pat and Jay, who are lost somewhere out in space. We have with us here today Callisto, the resident Judge of the Khazan Arena, to protect us from the outpouring of cosmic energy this match has been producing.

JIM:   Our contestants have been battling it out for days now. Entire solar systems have been consumed in the wake of this Bemammoth Brawl! Yes folks, this one has been a real Sloberknocker! A first class Humdinger!

ROD:   ...You actually READ the Sportscasters Handbook, didn't you?

JIM:   Well...yeah. Doesn't everyone?

ROD:   Oh boy...We've got one fantastic match here today. While I straighten out our zealous young friend here, why don't we check the Comm channels to see what you, the viewers have to say:


Favorite Letter of the Week

bannerman writes:

It's going to be long and bloody first of all. I'm going to try not to be a DC guy here and look at the raw facts. Jean Grey is second only to Charles Xavier in terms of psionic ability, right? She's a veteran X-Man (or Woman) with several years of experience in the use of her powers. The Dark Phoenix has Jean's powers and a ton of energy manipulation on top of all that. She's destroyed galaxies, right? I think that puts Phoenix in the realm of force of nature. She can manipulate energy I'm sure and any energy simulacrum that Parallax throws at her could be reduced to simple energy, absorbed into her and thereby making her stronger. The Green Lantern power ring is the most powerful weapon in the universe. That's not just a catchphrase, or a slogan, but a fact. Each ring was made with limitations (to try to ensure that someone like Parallax would never happen) but was still powerful in it's own right. The power behind the Power Rings comes from an offshoot of the Source (the end-all be-all in DC) and is therefore self-replenishing. Now imagine the power of *thousands* of GL rings, without any limitations whatsoever and under the control of a madman and you've got Parallax. He also has the power of the Guardians of the Universe, the alien race that created the Green Lanterns. With the Guardians knowledge and power, Parallax knows a *lot* of tricks that most GLs wouldn't think of. Not to be underestimated. With the power within him, *technically* that means that he himself has a connection to the Source itself and the only real limitation is the fact that the power is contained in a human body (although that human body has become very godlike). Let's look at all that Parallax can do. He can manipulate energy. He can absorb energy which means that he can absorb any blow from Phoenix and not get hurt. He may even be able to absorb light energy from distant stars, I don't know. As she tries to get into his head, he may use her psionics to get into *her* head and learn what she's planning. On his way to confront her, I can imagine him trying to pull some tricks out of his knowledge that he stole from the Guardians. His power is always emphasized but add that to the knowledge of the Guardians and he becomes a genius to the Nth degree. He even used some of this knowledge to recreate the universe out of plasma energy. Also, he has absorbed chronal energy meaning he can time travel without breaking a sweat. He can read minds, pass through solid objects, manipulate matter and energy. If written right, Parallax comes more into the level of the Silver Surfer (Surfer has a portion of the Power Cosmic while the Green Lantern energy is an offshoot of the Source). As the fight progresses, Jean starts *really* screwing with Hal's mind as she's using his most beloved memories against him. He sees Coast City happen again in his mind as Phoenix is telling him how she wishes she was there to savor the devastation. He sees seven million people dying one by one as Phoenix uses the distraction to start trying to sap the energy out of him. Then Hal mentally vanishes and only Parallax is left. All through the fight, he's been holding back somewhat afraid to use his powers to their fullest but now Phoenix's manipulations have unleashed an animal as Hal uses *all* his power against her. He starts tearing into *her* mind and slashing at her psionically (psionic energy is still energy and once he adapts the Green Power inside him to match it, he's just as tough as Xavier) until Jean is nearly mindwiped. Then he unravels Jean's DNA so that she becomes nothing more than an opaque flotsam of protoplasm leaving Hal to fight against The Phoenix Force itself. I say Hal then absorbs the Force into himself and makes himself even stronger. The absorption of the Phoenix force makes him a little unbalanced but otherwise he's unchanged. Maybe I am a DC guy through and through. Hal wins.

Amazon writes:

The Phoenix is the most powerful force ever to be held in mortal hands at ANY comics company. She lost to the X-Men because she loved them too much to fight back. She'll feel no such bonding with Hal Jordan, and he'll fall as quickly as the Shi'ar Imperial Battle Cruisers did under her assault.

geniepants writes:

Gotta go with Hal on this. Yeah, Phoenix can destroy whole solar systems, but even the Klingons can do that. When's the last time anyone else RESTARTED A UNIVERSE?!?! Phoenix will give him quite the workout, but Hal has gone toe to toe with a superpowered Thanos, and you just don't get more insane than him. Phoenix's one weakness? Jean Grey. She may try to reassert herself for a moment, and that's all Parallax needs to lay her out for the count.

Cardinal Ximinez writes:

This is a gimme. Dark Phoenix has this one in the bag. Think about it...this chick destroys solar systems for fun. She gets hungry, she devours a SUN! She doesn't even get heartburn either. That is tough in my book. Parallax? What had he done? He went crazy and killed a couple of color-coordinated super-heroes. Nothing impressive. Ms. Grey can have this in a millisecond, but it wouldn't be any fun then. Wait a minute...who needs fun...she can just destroy another solar system. In that case, she will have Hal destroyed and another sun eaten faster than the kids break their new Furbies.

XXUTAK the Unconquerable writes:

Pfft. Parallax destroyed the universe, then rebuilt it. I don't think DP is QUITE at that level.

Parallax writes:

Well, the Phoenix took out a sun. But Hal took out all of time/space/reality. He's held his own against the Spectre (and we all know the phoenix is not in the spectres league). Simply put, Phoenix can not win against Hal. Parallax in 3 minutes. And that's only if he's in a good mood.

Firestar Artemis writes:

You people aren't serious? Dark Phoenix is a terror on a universal scale. The Phoenix amplifies its host's own abilities to infinite levels, and has an enormous amount of power on its own. Rachel Summers was the weaker of its hosts, and she still managed to take down Galactus. What's Hal Jordan gonna do? ZAP! ZAP!. "My powers are having no effect! ZAP! ZAP! ZA-EIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Fight's over, Phoenix is still rampaging.

Actlete writes:

Phoenix is pretty darn powerful. Parallax destroyed and recreated the universe. That includes the really darn powerful. Parallax is in a class by himself.

Dan Radice writes:

I think it all comes down to this. One can destroy Solar Systems, the other can destroy--and remake--Universes. The victor is quite clear.

Chuckg writes:

Parallax has ALL the edges. Dark Phoenix needs the M'Krann Crystal just to destroy the entire Universe. Parallax destroyed the entire universe just by standing there and thinking about it, and still had enough power left over to try and re-create it from scratch! The girl who can't destroy a galaxy without using an ancient Shi'Ar artifact for a boost, vs. the guy who single-handedly powered a full-scale re-enactment of the Big Bang? Parallax takes this one faster than Captain America can salute the flag.

TheBigGiantHead writes:

Parallax is simply more powerful. Phoenix is no slouch, but her best feat was destroying a solar system. Heck, the Silver Surfer has done that on accident.

Black Jack writes:

Dark Phoenix, pure and simple. She's more powerful and she's one hot babe!

Wolf Leader writes:

Dark Phoenix will win because she's a superhero babe, and when a superhero babe gets mad all hell breaks loose!!

Gman writes:

Interesting Matchup. Two semi good guys toeing it out. Both have interesting character traits and it's a toss up as to who would win. I think Parallax/Green Lantern has the edge in experience and control of his powers.

Sunwright writes:

Great Fight! It will devastate countless worlds. I like that. The fight goes to Dark Phoenix in the end. Why? Simple. Parallax's powers derive from his will. Dark Phoenix is one of the strongest mentalists in the universe. As powerful as Parallax is on the matter-energy department he still has a human will, albeit a strong one. Dark Phoenix will take over Parallax's mind and will. This will mean Dark Phoenix controls Parallax and his powers. In short, Parallax becomes the herald of Dark Phoenix. *shudder*

Blue Beetle writes:

Itīs a tough choice. I go with Parallax, because he has more willpower than Dark Phoenix!

Runewulf writes:

Not too difficult to call, really. Willpower or no, Phoenix is still more than telepath enough to read Jordan's mind and determine his plan of attack before he gets a chance to act on it. Nice fight, to be sure, but she'll always be a step ahead of him, and in the end, the Dark Phoenix will prevail.

Phranque writes:

Ok, Dark Phoenix destroyed one solar system and was defeated single-handedly by Professor X. Parallax destroyed the entire space-time continuum and it took every DC hero combined to beat him. This guy even gave the Spectre a run for his money! Hal's power seems to be finite, though, so the only way Dark Phoenix would win would be if she could last long enough against him (note: against a tired Parallax, even an arrow can do the trick). But, Dark Phoenix isn't the calculating type that it would take to do this; she'll just come in firing all she's got and get her *insert unbelievably obscene and vulgar euphemism here* by Parallax.

Sailor Xena writes:

Parallax or Green Lantern, it makes no difference who he is, he's going to lose. Granted, the cosmic power of the green ring is formidable, and one hundred of them is awesome, it will still not help against the psi-abilities of the Dark Phoenix. The Phoenix is PURE telepathic and telekinetic energy given physical form in Jean Grey. Sure Parallax could make some kick ass weapon or Armor with his powers, but it wouldn't prevent his mind from being turned to jello or his body twisted into a slinky. Jordan will try his dammndest, but in the end the TRUE cosmic being will utterly crush the wanna-be.

Vashna Ironheart writes:

Parallax is a mean son of a bitch. He's insane yet intelligent. Powerful yet destructive. Sure, Phoenix is all these things and more, but that doesn't change the fact that Parallax is much more powerful now than he ever was as Green Lantern. If you're looking for a winner, Parallax is the way to go.

bridge troll writes:

Oh come on. Dark Phoenix would win any day. She can fly through stars and is surrounded by two miles of fire. Parallax is a pansy who has two inches of green glow, very scary. (What kind of a name is Parallax in the first place? It sounds like x-lax.) If you ask me this isn't even a match up. X-lax shall be buried

Atomic Arrow writes:

That Parallax is going to beat Dark Phoenix to cosmic dust. Think about it. Someone that can make anything verses Dark Phoenix a fire birdish kind of wacko. Who do you think is going to win? Some bird or a guy with a cool suit?

Lobby writes:

Dark Phoenix all the way!!! Parallax may have plenty of power but Dark Phoenix tears through star systems and galaxies in the blink of an eye. She'll go through Parallax like a hot knife through butter.

Ganthet 2814 writes:

What most people forget is that Parallax is not just an ex-Green Lantern, but the combination of a bitter Hal Jordan with the power and the knowledge of the Guardians of the universe. While Phoenix has a link to the power cosmic Hal understands it on a level she never can. I also feel that Hal is less vulnerable to psi attacks due to this multi personality nature to his his new identity, not to mention that the Green power itself can protect him once he wills it. I think Hal is a smarter warrior than Phoenix as well.

Hari Seldon writes:

Phoenix Chows down on stars and has no ulterior motives (eat, destroy and be merry)patterned after a mythical firebird, Parallax is an error in measurement and so deserves to be reduced. Go jeannie

Captain Steel writes:

Dark Phoenix can just roast Parallax's @$$.

Matt. Still only Matt. I'm not very exciting. writes:

Parallax, just because I am so intensely sick of every single X-Men fanatic throwing Phoenix around like she's a magic wand. She was a stupid idea, executed poorly and later even reviled by her own creators. I actually also hate the Parallax version of Hal Jordan, but at least the base character is an interesting one. AND he made his own realities, so he's got power in spades. I am just so sick of Phoenix, I don't even like the town anymore.

X-Dude writes:

Forget about the battle. Parallax would probably arrive at the scene drunk and brooding about the fact that he hasn't got a girlfriend (c'mon, even the Joker has Harley Quinn), and Phoenix would be just as bored, cause she only goes out and destroyed galaxies, so she's also VERY horny. Once they see each other in Spandex(TM), they'll forget why they're there, and rush to the nearest casino-planet (Vegas style) and get married with Elvis as the wedding singer .(So aliens DID take him after all) I love happy endings *sniff*

Sam Bluestone writes:

Look, granted Dark Phoenix was one big bad mutha in her day, but the whole Dark Phoenix saga was a crisis purely contained within the X-Men's boundaries. But when Parallax took to doing all that cool stuff he was at, it seemed to very often involve THE ENTRIE DC UNIVERSE! He's got gobs of will power and he's as brave as they come. He's got far more cosmic power at his hands. He has the power of creation at his fingertips. Dark Phoenix has gobs of power, but she's a little psychologically unstable. Hell, she's VERY psychologically unstable. Dark Phoenix is just plain evil. She just blew planets up and threatened the universe. Little stuff like that, y'know? But Hal, he could recreate anything she could destroy, but twice as powerful as before. He's still the hero, and he must protect those whom Dark Phoenix threatens to destroy. Which brings me to my final and best point. Hal's the hero. Dark Phoenix is evil. In the end, good ALWAYS beats evil. End o' story.

Watcher writes:

This is a great fight!

Guest Commentator's Note: Why thank you, thank you very much!


[ pic ] [ pic ]

JIM:   They seem to be eyeing each other. Circling wearily.

ROD:   While there's a lull in our battle let's check in on our sideline commentator Frank Williams, who is currently in a shuttlecraft near the scene. Take it away Frank.

FRANK: vacation? Let's just say it was "purrrfect". Catwoman was all over me like a- oh, we're on? I don't even know why you guys need a sideline commentator for this one. You can see this match from twelve sectors away. They're powerful and they've smashed things. Back to you Rod.

ROD:   Thanks Frank. Our two combatants are coming together once again. The Dark Phoenix, a power mad entity bent on destruction, and Parallax, a reformed man sworn to eradicate evil in all the myriad shapes and forms it takes.

CALLISTO:   Humph. Who does he think he is?

JIM:   He's...Parallax the mighty, roams though the countryside, he never needs a place to hide. With Gab-

CALLISTO:   Cute [ pic ] [ pic ]

ROD:   That's a rather malicious stare Callisto's leveling at you Jim.

JIM:   No accounting for some people's taste… Dark Phoenix is going on the offensive. A massive energy blast streaking towards Parallax. Who easily blocks it. For as much havoc these two have wrought, they have made surprisingly little headway against each other.

ROD:   It was a feint! She's used the momentary distraction to race for this system's sun! She's trying to "power up"!

JIM:   This could be close! It all depends on who gets there first!

ROD:   I'm not so sure Jim. Parallax hasn't moved a muscle.

JIM:   And Dark Phoenix is almost to the star-

ROD:   Wait! Parallax is raising his arms-

JIM:   And pointing them at the fourth planet out from this system's sun. A gas giant if I'm not mistaken.

ROD:   Dark Phoenix has reached the sun! I'm not sure what Parallax-

JIM:   He's focusing his energy on the gas giant! The power being displayed here is incredible!

ROD:   Dark Phoenix is starting to-

JIM:   Great Gravy! The planet, the gas giant, has just exploded! The energy being released-

ROD:   Is triggering a supernova! It's going to go-with Dark Phoenix right in the middle of it!

SUN:   KrackaThooom!

JIM:   The shockwave...

CALLISTO:   (Through gritted teeth) Hang on...

ROD:   -being thrown arou...zizzt...rag doll...zizzt...

JIM:   Ship...zizzt...stabiliz-...zizzt...

ROD:   ...zizzt...-through. It was a rough ride, but we made it through. There goes another star system.

JIM:   Incredible! There's Parallax! He has not moved so much as an inch all this time!

CALLISTO:   Show off...

ROD:   The debris is clearing out now. It looks like-

JIM:   Dark Phoenix is tearing out of the debris! Not even a scratch on her! Parallax should have realized that it would take more than a supernova to down her!

ROD:   I don't think that was the point. It looks like Parallax only sought to deny her a ready meal.

JIM:   This is going to be a loooong match if he's trying to starve her to death.

ROD:   And pointless. There are plenty more suns in this sector alone. This was a stop gag measure at best.

JIM:   These past few days, whenever Parallax started to get the upper hand Dark Phoenix would soak up some juice and come out swinging. This time Parallax has denied her a meal.

ROD:   And it looks like it has drove Dark Phoenix past the breaking point. She's heading right for Parallax. Energy crackling around though the very space itself was alive!

PARALLAX:   It ends here.

DARK PHOENIX:   Insolent fool! I possess the infinite powers of the universe! I am omnipotent!

PARALLAX:   Preach on sister.

DARK PHOENIX:   Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

JIM:   It looks like Parallax wants it to come down to a "all or nothing" showdown with all the cards on the table.

ROD:   And a battle enraged Dark Phoenix is more than happy to oblige. All pretense of strategy has gone out the window folks. Thor would be proud.

JIM:   Indeed. Dark Phoenix is lashing out with her mind. She is bringing ALL of her immense telepathic abilities to bear on Parallax!

ROD:   Oh! Parallax has had his mind messed with before. It's what made him the man he is today. To fight off this sort of mind attack will require a titanic amount of willpower. Which is right up his alley.

JIM:   As is telepathic manipulation for Dark Phoenix. They are bringing their very best abilities to bear against one another.

ROD:   It's like watching a cosmic tug-a-war, only they're pushing against each other instead of pulling.

JIM:   The strain on their faces in agonizing! They are pushing themselves to their absolute limits!

ROD:   Jordan is sweating. His face tells it all.

JIM:   Dark Phoenix is straining as well. Trying to push Jordan over that edge of no return.

ROD:   The sweat is rolling off of Jordan's face now. The look of agony is unbearable! It looks like he's buckling...

JIM:   Dark Phoenix is smiling...

ROD:   Wait! Jordan is mumbling something. Can we get some sound on this?

CALLISTO:   *Sigh* If you must...

PARALLAX:   ...In brightest day...

ROD:   My goodness...the EFFORT this must take...

PARALLAX:   ...In blackest night...

JIM:   I didn't think it was possible, but Jordan's face his an even BIGGER look of consternation on it!

PARALLAX:   ...No evil shall...

ROD:   Dark Phoenix's smile is fading...

PARALLAX:   ...Escape my site...

ROD:   Parallax's voice seems to be getting stronger with each line uttered though clenched teeth.

PARALLAX:   ...Let those who worship...

JIM:   Dark Phoenix is really frowning now...

PARALLAX:   ...Evil's might...

ROD:   Dark Phoenix is fighting back with everything she has, determined not to lose control.

PARALLAX:   ...Beware my Power!...

JIM:   Their facial expressions change from defeat to victory to agony by the split second. They've reached a crest. They've-

ROD:   Parallax is straining... with every fiber of his being...

JIM:   ...

ROD:   ...



PARALLAX:   ...Green Lantern's Light!

JIM:   The energy...

ROD:   Cover your eyes! [ pic ] [ pic ]


'Nuff Said!


Parallax: 581

Dark Phoenix: 573


ROD:   Is it over?

JIM:   Yes. It looks like Parallax has removed the Phoenix entity from Jean Grey, whom we are currently beaming aboard.

ROD:   Today's battle has been won. It looks like Parallax is off-

JIM:   Righting wrongs and singing songs! Being mighty all day loooong! He's Parallax! He's Parallax the mighty!

ROD:   Are you quite through?

JIM:   Sorry. Just had to get it out of my system. Is it just me, or was Parallax looking over at Callisto during the "No evil shall escape my sight" bit?

ROD:   Hmmm. She DID take off rather suddenly after the match...

JIM:   Well, I'm Jim Mies and see you-hey wait! That energy anomaly...something's coming out of it...

ROD:   ...It's the U.S.S. Leick! Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

GLantern's Green Lantern Page.

The Jean Grey Page.


Parallax (TM) is the property (c) of D.C. Comics

Dark Phoenix (TM) is the property (c) of Marvel Comics

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles