THE SPORTS BOX

PAT:  We are broadcasting LIVE from the DS9 observation deck where the SportsBox is set-up to see some serious Star Fleet excitement. Today, Captains James T. Kirk and Benjamin Sisko face off in ship to ship combat with Captains Jean Luc Picard and Catharine Janeway. Hello and Welcome! I'm Pat Summers!

JAY:  And I'm Jay Peoples. I have been waiting all week for this Pat. Each of these captains has their own strength and weaknesses and it will be told on the battlefield or I should say the holo-deck. Each of the captains and their crews will operate from a simulated bridge and we'll get to see their ships battle from here as if it was the real thing! Kirk and Picard will each operate a Galaxy Class Starship, while Sisko will command the Defiant and Janeway will command Voyager.

PAT:  Voyager seems to be a little behind schedule getting here....

JAY:  Hope they aren't lost again, Pat.

PAT:  ... so why were waiting, let's look at some of the response we've gotten on the match:

YOUR OPINIONS

Drew Martin writes:

This fight has to go to the (Kirk) Enterprise and Defiant for several reasons:

Picard seeks to understand the unknown; Kirk seeks to destroy the unknown.

Janeway doesn't know where she is or where she's going... a problem when facing a cloaked opponent like Defiant.

Picard only gets really mad when fighting the Borg...Kirk gets mad whenever he isn't busy schmoozing the young ladies.

Kirk had to kill the baddies with a fraction of Picard's budget. With the big-time dollars of a TNG episode, he'll rock the galaxy and have money enough to build another Enterprise A.

Janeway is still secretly mad that she was a minor has-been on Kirk's Enterprise back in the 60's.

Sisko is a bald, angry man who learned some nasty tricks on "Spencer for Hire." Sisko also has a major score to settle with Picard/"Locutus of Borg" for killing his wife.

Picard's Enterprise was forever contaminated by Wesley Crusher's presence. There ain't enough Lysol in the Gamma Quadrant to kill that stink.

Give Scotty a ship like the Enterprise D for a few days, and he'll fly the damn thing through a star. Plus, O'Brien and Worf are ready to teach Jean-Luc a few things about the meaning of the word "respect."

Photon Torps and Phasers don't kill people -- Captain Kirk kills people! The new crowd is too "peaceful" and "understanding." Kirk will blast the Voyager to bits while Janeway is still trying to figure out why he won't answer her hailing frequency. Then, it's two against one, and we know that rock 'em, sock 'em Starships isn't Picard's forte. Look for Sisko to catch fire under the guidance of the lean, mean Khan-stomping machine.

Kirk doesn't have weighty concerns like acting to stop him from kicking ass.

That's all there is to it, may the Force be with you.

Ahmed Elnajaro writes:

Oh COME now, Defiant held its own against the BORG, whilst Voyager got it's buttocks booted by a SPACE WHALE, and then got HIJACKED, i.e. taken over, by a gang of idiots with hair-do's made of dog feces. (Oh I get it, you're joking, right? I get it, very funny! :-)

Joseph W. Duis writes:

Picard, Janeway, and company should win because Patrick Stewart didn't try to sing "Mr. Tambourine Man" and fail like William Shatner did.

Ed Tang writes:

UH-UH-UH! Why is it that Kirk's allowed to be upgraded to a Galaxy Class Starship from an Excelsior Class Starship (the last Enterprise he commanded)? That's not fair. If you must upgrade Kirk to a Galaxy Class starship, then Picard must at least be allowed to use his CURRENT Sovereign Class Enterprise.

Plus, giving Kirk such an advantage, Voyager must be allowed to have a full layover and any upgrades to the Intrepid Class Starships! Now that's more fair, considering Kirk's gone up 2 or 3 classes in Starships.

It seems to me you purposely made the Kirk and Sisko the more powerful team because that's the team you want to win. Now, play fair. I'm being more than fair... and allowing Kirk a better starship.

THE BATTLE

JAY:  Hmmm, some real controversy here, Pat. O.K. folks Voyager just arrived on the scene and she is taking her place along side Picard's Enterprise. We are waiting for the signal to start the match...

PAT:  And there's the signal! Picard and Janeway are in a standard two abreast formation and Kirk and Sisko... wait... The Defiant just went cloak, folks. We've lost visual on Sisko's Defiant.

JAY:  Picard and Janeway are loosening up their formation so as not to give Sisko an easy shot at them both, Pat. Kirk's Enterprise is closing in fast, he'll be in phaser range in seconds.

PAT:  Wait... the speedy Defiant is de-cloaking above Picard's Enterprise, he has a clear shot. Picard's Enterprise is maneuvering, Voyager is trying to intercept the Defiant.

JAY:  Kirk is coming in fast...

PAT:  Sisko's Defiant is blasting Picard's shields. Picard is returning fire, but misses. Sisko's Defiant is smaller than the Enterprise, and a very nimble ship. Wait... Its all smoke and mirrors folks! It's a wedge! Kirk is trying to split off Voyager.

JAY:  Incredible timing between Kirk and Sisko. There's a dizzying exchange of phaser and torpedo fire between all four starships as they loop by each other! The Defiant is still assaulting Picard's Enterprise. Kirk has managed to cut off Voyager from Picard.

PAT:  ... Whoa, Sisko felt that one! Picard's Enterprise is beating down the Defiant's shields, but the, perky ship with Worf on the guns is still blasting away! With Picard diverted, we are looking at a one on one between Kirk and Janeway...

JAY:  Janeway is trying to use her ship's superior maneuverability to attack Kirk's Enterprise and to rejoin Picard. Voyager has fired a volley of torpedoes into Kirk. Direct hit! I can almost hear Scotty screaming in Kirk's ear that the "Shields are buckling Captain!"

PAT:  Voyager is said to be the fastest ship in Star Fleet, Jay...

JAY:  And with Paris at the helm, it's that much more maneuverable! Voyager is about to break past Kirk's Enterprise and get some pressure off Picard. Wait, Kirk's Enterprise has activated their tractor beam emitter trying to knock Voyager off course...

PAT:  ...Too little, too late, Jay. Voyager races on, Full torpedo spread launched and streaking at the Defiant!

JAY:  The Defiant spins about dodging most of them and bull dogs through what it can't dodge. That's one tough little ship Pat!!

PAT:  Kirk is odd man out now, Jay, as Picard and Janeway throw everything they've got into trashing the Defiant.

JAY:  Sisko finds himself sandwiched between them... the Defiant's shields are being pounded down by the intense phaser barrage...

PAT:  Sisko is running, cloaking, trying to get the hell out of there. Voyager is after 'em!

JAY:  Pat, this is big excitement. Now lets check the pulse on the Promande where our own Sideline Commentator Frank Williams is standing by....

PAT:  Thank you, Jay. This is Frank Williams on the Promande, and I must say, the response to this is astounding! A fist fight has just broken out between a pair of cadets over who will emerge the victor today! In fact, it appears things down here are approaching riot conditions! Everyone's getting in on the act! Uhh, If you'll excuse me, I'll just stand over by this escape pod.... back to you Pat.

JAY:  Folks, excitement is reaching a fever pitch in this confrontation, and it looks like Voyager is going to catch the Defiant.

PAT:  Kirk's Enterprise is charging to the rescue... he's throwing everything at Voyager... A HIT! A phaser blast penetrated her shields!!

JAY:  Picard is coming about... Full torpedo spread into Kirk! Phasers on full into Kirk! Wait... The Defiant has vanished!

PAT:  Voyager is hurt, I see a trail of plasma vapor coming from her right warp nacelle. Kirk and Picard are exchanging heavy weapons fire at point blank range... it's like watching tanks shooting it out at 20 paces! What a sight!

JAY:  No signs of the Defiant yet, Jay. The Voyager is out there waiting to get pounced, and they know it. I can almost hear them, scrambling to find an energy signature or something.

PAT:  Too late!! The Defiant is de-cloaking just off Voyager's portside and is looking for some payback... the Defiant is firing...

JAY:  Full Pulse barrage, through Voyager's taxed shields and into the engines... we're getting a sound patch-in now with Voyager. Engineer B'Ellana Torres is speaking:

......we are ... holding on, after the last ......can't last long .....need more sup..... Warp cor breech... OH MY GOD!!!

JAY:  Voyager is engulfed by a massive blinding explosion!! Incredible, I almost forgot that this was is just a holo-projection. The Defiant is now turning to assist Kirk... Picard is on his own!

PAT:  Picard goes for the weak link- the battle weary Defiant! Charging his Enterprise through the cloud of vapor which used to be Voyager, Full Torps, full Phasers....

JAY:  Picard launches a full spread of torpedoes first... the Defiant tries to evade but takes several hits. The ship lurches, her shields failing. Picard now fires his phasers... the beams breaking down Sisko's remaining shields and begins to peel away the Defiant's armor plates.

PAT:  But Kirk's in range, Jay, and giving everything he's got at the aft of Picard's Enterprise. The Defiant is firing everything it's got into Picard's Bow. It's a classic nutcracker...

JAY:  Picard was hoping to take out the Defiant but that little ship took his best shot. Now he's caught between them. His ship's shields are cracking from the strain Pat...

PAT:  Defiant away with Quantum Torps! Kirks Enterprise is channeling all power to the phaser array...firing...

JAY:  Picard's shields collapse from the pounding. The Quantum Torps impacted on drive and saucer section... entire portions of the Enterprise hull is engulfed by explosions.

PAT:  almost reflexively, Picard's Enterprise continues slicing Defiant's ablative armour plating.... WHAM! Massive explosion on Defiant. It is going down. We're patching sound in from Defiant Engineer Chief O'Brien...

..Sisko, she's.. AAHHHHRRRGGG.......

PAT:  er... Sorry, Defiant no longer has an Engineering...

JAY:  You said it Pat and the Defiant is...

KA-BOOOOOM

JAY:  ...no longer a ship! Sisko and his crew are out of the match!

PAT:  Picard's Galaxy Class Starship is crumbling. The damage has been done and Kirk is just watching the show. As Picard's holo-deck crew abandon ship is holo-deck escape pods, I must say that this match is history.

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

Final Vote:

PICARD / JANEWAY: 86

KIRK / SISKO: 182

THE WRAP UP

PAT:  From DS9, I'm Pat Summer's wishing you a goodnight.

JAY:  And I'm Jay Peoples. Be here next week for more mayhem when the Borg take on the Aliens.

Special Thanxs to:

• The Temple of Shatner
• Barry's Trek Page
• Tiny's Deep Space Nine
• Andrew Tong's ST:TNG site

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE: All Star Trek stuff is the Absoloute Sole property of Paramount / Viacom. No infringement is intended, this is just for fun!

The Part of Pat written by Serge - Electric Ferret Studios

The Part of Jay written by Shawn - Callisto Tales

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles