Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

He Did Everything But Arrest Himself

Sometimes it’s just too easy, as was the case in our Bozo Report for today from Marietta, Georgia. Bozo Dale Tucker had his eye on a $200 military knife at the local pawn shop. He came in, took look at the knife, gave the clerk all his personal information including his drivers license and his fingerprint on the pawn ticket. and everything was caught on security cameras. It was then he decided to steal the knife rather than paying for it. Bad, bad idea. The cops were called and our bozo was quickly placed under arrest, charged with theft and drug possession charges.

You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Car, Pal

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk for sending in today’s report from Ocala, Florida, where the hero of our story was minding his own business, stopped at a red light in his big, lifted Ford F-150 truck. Suddenly, bozo Adalberto Ramirez pulled up behind him in his Toyota Camry. He jumped out and approached the window of the truck, yelling, reaching through the window and striking the driver. It was at this time that the driver’s girlfriend, in the passenger seat, told the man they had a gun, in an effort to scare him off. Our bozo replied, “I’ll show you a real gun” and went back to his car to retrieve it. It was then that our hero sprang into action. He threw the truck into reverse and backed over the hood of the Camry, effectively trapping the man in the car. The cops were called, and after witnesses corroborated the story, our bozo was arrested for driving with a suspended license, failure to pay child support, battery and and old burglary charge.