Bozo criminal for today from Anchorage, Alaska, wanted to get some booze, but it was late and all the liquor stores were closed. So, he came up with a bozo plan. He headed down to a construction site and stole a front-end loader. He then drove the heavy piece of equipment to the liquor store where he crashed it through the front door. After grabbing a few bottles of liquor, he jumped back into the front-end loader and made a not so speedy getaway. A witness called the cops and a slow speed chase ensued. He was finally captured when the cops blocked the exit to an RV park. He’s been charged with criminal mischief, failure to stop at the direction of an officer, theft, criminal trespassing, burglary, felony DUI and felony refusal to submit.
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Fred McKinney for sending in today’s report from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Bozo Neil Boyd broke into a residence through a back window. He then went to work, ransacking the house and stacking items he intended to steal by the back door. His next stop was the medicine cabinet where he found some opiate medications, which he also placed at the back door, right? Wrong. Instead, he took some of the pills and before long he was looking for a place to take a nap. He crawled into the bedroom closet and fell sound asleep. He was still there when the homeowner’s daughter came by to check on the home. The cops were called, sleeping beauty was awakened and placed under arrest.