Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

But I PAID For It!

Bozo criminal for today comes from Las Cruces, New Mexico. It’s late at night on a Sunday and you’re out of cigarettes, but all the stores are closed. This didn’t deter bozo Charles Crawford. He went down to his neighborhood convenience store and, after pounding on the locked front door several times, kicked it in, breaking the door’s lower panel. Surveillance cameras then show him entering the store, taking a pack of cigarettes off the shelf, and then leaving $6 on the counter. No harm, no foul, right? Wrong. A witness called 911 and the cops quickly tracked down our bozo. He faces a felony charge of breaking and entering and repair to the door to the tune of $800.

Guess Uber Was Unavailable

Bozo criminal for today from Willimantic, Connecticut, violated Bozo Rule Number 23543: It’s best to rob your limo driver before you give him your home address. It seems bozo Sharon Shafer was out celebrating her birthday by traveling by limo to New York with friends. After a long evening of partying, the driver dropped off all her friends and when he arrived at our bozo’s residence, an argument ensued over the fee. She grabbed the keys, ran inside her house and returned with a pistol, threatening to “shoot out” the tires of the limo. She then removed the GPS from the vehicle, along with a clipboard containing cash and the signed contract. The limo driver made his getaway and quickly called 911. Hope she enjoyed her birthday. Her bail has been set at $100,00 and she’s charged with first-degree robbery, sixth-degree larceny, second-degree threatening, breach of peace and carrying a firearm while under the influence.