Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Too Bad One of the Stolen Items Wasn’t an Outboard

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number #222675: Put a lot of thought into your escape vehicle. Our bozo staked out a restaurant on the shores of a lake, and broke in on a day the place was closed. He had grabbed a number of items when he was surprised by an employee that was giving a tour of the facility. He fled out the back door and jumped into his getaway kayak. Yep, he paddled away from the place in a kayak. Unfortunately, the kayak was no match for the cops who arrived with a fire department boat. He was quickly caught and placed under arrest.

She Wasn’t Happy To Hear “Happy” Again

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report of an assault, which could perhaps be justifiable. Guests at a birthday party at a pub in Madison, Wisconsin, were shocked when one of the partygoers began yelling at the disc jockey, apparently upset over his song selection. The fight escalated and the woman got in a few punches, scratched the DJ on his face, and broke his laptop computer and microphone before she was pulled off of him. The cops were called and before they arrived the woman broke free, grabbed a piece of glass and tossed it at he bewildered DJ as she made her getaway. The disc jockey was not seriously injured. The music critic remains at large.