Just Take One From Column A

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Hooksett, New Hampshire, where bozo Elizabeth Norton was in a quandary, so she did what any bozo would do, she called 911 for help. She told the operator she had a medical emergency, but when the officers arrived our bozo revealed all she really needed was help ordering food from a confusing Chinese restaurant menu. Maybe she should have just ordered pizza instead. She’s been charged with misuse of Emergency 911.

He Should Have Taken the Bunny Trail Instead

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Bozo criminal for today comes from San Diego, California, where cops pulled over a motorcycle rider for not wearing a helmet. While this may not sound unusual, it was what he was wearing that landed him in the Bozo Hall of Fame. Our unidentified easy rider was dressed up as a giant rabbit, right down to the giant head with the big floppy ears. Peter Cottontail told the cops he was headed to a charity event and wanted to have his costume on when he arrived. Perhaps feeling the spirit of the holiday, the cop only gave him a verbal warning and told him to be careful.