And It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day

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Bozo criminal for today comes from the seldom seen four-legged file. Sherwood, Arkansas cops were called to a report of a bull running loose in a neighborhood. When they arrived, they saw a man slapping and trying to guide the bull. As the patrol car drew nearer, the animal reared up and pinned the man against the vehicle. It was then that things took a rather nasty turn. The confused bull, according to the deputy’s report, “tried to mate” with the man and the car. Fortunately the bull quickly became distracted by a passing truck and took off after it. Eventually the bull was caught and returned home. The patrol car suffered minor damage. The man probably suffered emotional damage. No word on whether assault charges will be filed against the bull.

Honest, I Thought It Was A BC Powder

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Fort Walton Beach, Florida, where police were called to a bar to investigate a report of a drug dealer on the premises. They quickly narrowed down their search to bozo Herminio Rodriguez, who adamantly denied that he was dealing drugs. And to prove his innocence to the cops, he turned his pants pockets inside out to show that they were indeed empty. Except that they weren’t. When he pulled out his pockets, a bag of cocaine fell to the floor. Oops. He’s busted!