Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 3, 2011

Bozo criminal for today may have technically committed a crime, but we would have to agree with him that the rapidly rising gas prices are the crime here. From LaPlace, Louisiana, comes the story of an unidentified bozo who called 911 to complain about the rising gas prices. When the officers arrived, he explained that the price of gas on the pump was $3.04 when he started pumping, but rose to $3.19 before he was finished. The manager of the store said the pumps were controlled by computer and once the price change was initiated there was no way to stop it, even if someone was pumping gas at the time. The officers took pity on our bozo and merely warned him about mis-using the 911 service.

March 2, 2011

Bozo criminal for today comes from Covington, Georgia, where bozo Robert Smith had a plan. He was going to break into a local school by climbing down through an air vent. The first hiccup in the plan came as he tried to squeeze himself into the vent. It was a tight fit. So tight that something had to go if he was going to get in. And that something was his clothes, which he left in a pile on the roof beside the vent. The second problem was the school’s security system, which was set off as soon as our bozo set foot on the floor. Oops. Naked bozo is under arrest.

March 1, 2011

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow who sent in today’s report, which violates Bozo Rule Number 4678: It’s best to keep a low profile when you’re a wanted man. From the International File in Piatra-Neamt, Romania comes the story of bozo Viorel Piescan who fled from the cops 10 years ago after being charged with forgery. And of course, you’d want to find a low profile job that didn’t draw attention to you, right? Wrong. Our bozo found gainful employment as an anchorman on a primetime TV show. Must have been a low-rated one, as no one noticed him until the cops pulled him over for a traffic violation and discovered the outstanding warrant. He’s under arrest.