Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

December 3, 2008

Bozo criminals for today come from Lincoln, Nebraska, where two unidentified bozos stole a 55-inch TV from a residence. It was as they were preparing for their getaway that they made the unfortunate discovery that the TV was too big to fit in their car. Coming up with a plan that could only make sense to the Bozo Mind, they went next door and asked the neighbor if they could store the TV at her place until they could come back with a bigger car. In the meantime, the homeowner returned home and called the cops who arrested our bozos.

December 2, 2008

Bozo criminal for today comes from Forrest City, Arkansas, where bozo Richard Parks received a $650 fine and four days in jail for driving with a suspended license. Thinking the sentence was a little harsh, our bozo tried to take matters into his own hands. No, he didn’t make an appeal before the judge and jury. Instead, he took a pen and scratched through the "four day jail sentence" part of his paperwork before turning the notice listing his sentence into the clerk’s office. Didn’t work. He’s now had tampering with a public record added to his rap sheet.

December 1, 2008

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Randy Shereda for sending in today’s report. From Leavenworth, Kansas, comes the story of bozo Bill Wilkinson who had big plans for breaking into an ATM machine. He first stole the heavy equipment he needed to do the job, a big skid loader. He then used the machine to pry the ATM loose from the concrete slab it was attached to. Then, in an attempt to break open the ATM, he drove the skid loader to the edge of a 50-foot embankment, intending to drop it over the ledge. Perhaps he should have taken a few more skid loader driving lessons before attempting this job. The ATM, loader and bozo all went plummeting off the embankment, trapping him inside. After a quick trip to the hospital, he was placed under arrest.