Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 3, 2008

Our bozos for today don’t really qualify as criminals, but they are without doubt bozos. From Chaparral, New Mexico, comes the story of bozos Robert Green and Joey Arroyo who decided they wanted to get a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, but a tattoo of their favorite gun, a .357 Magnum. And since they just happened to have one, our first bozo decided to use it to trace a pattern of the gun on bozo number two’s arm, so the tattoo artist would have something to work from. They never made it to the tattoo parlor. The gun went off while they were tracing its outline, striking bozo number one in the hand and bozo number two in the arm. No charges were filed.

January 2, 2008

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From Madison Heights, Michigan comes the story of bozo Thomas Henningan who wanted to break into a car, hoping to find something valuable. And, thinking it might be more profitable to break into several cars at a time, he went looking for a lot that was full of them. He found one and was in the process of rifling through the first car he came across when he suddenly found himself surrounded by the cops. The reason? He had selected the police department parking lot and the cars he was attempting to burglarize were marked police cruisers. Oops. He’s under arrest.

January 1, 2008

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today went to the well, or in his case, the bank, too often. From Baltimore, Maryland, comes the story of bozo Jeff Tarver who held up a Signet Bank there, getting away with a sizable amount of cash. Our bozo must have decided this was pretty easy work, because he went back to the same bank a few days later and held it up again. This time he felt so at home in the bank that he stopped at one of the counters to tally up his take before leaving. He didn’t even notice one of the employees calling the cops who hurried over and nabbed him before he even left the bank.