Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

October 3, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from Clifton Heights, Pennsylvania where, for reasons known only to the Bozo Mind, Jeffrey Maines decided to follow a police car as it made its rounds. He tailed the cops down one street and up another and when they pulled into a private drive, he was right behind them. Guess he didn’t notice that drive was actually the security entrance of the Hamilton County Jail. The cruiser got through but our bozo was stopped. And after he refused to take a blood alcohol test he was arrested and charged with DUI.

October 2, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from Des Moines, Iowa where two teenage bozos tried to break into a liquor store by drilling a hole through the roof. Unfortunately for them, they forgot to allow for the overhang over the front door and ended up drilling a hole that opened up to the sidewalk below. And even more unfortunately, a woman walking her dog saw what they were attempting and threatened to call the cops if they didn’t stop. And most unfortunately of all, when they jumped down from the roof they landed right in front of the store’s security camera, giving the cops a perfect mug shot. They’re under arrest.

October 1, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from Des Plaines, Illinois where bozo James Packer just didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Police were called to our bozo’s residence on a report of fireworks being shot off illegally. When our bozo failed to answer the door, the cops drove down the street a block or so and waited for him to come out of the house. When he did, they swooped in and presented him with the illegal fireworks charge. And that’s when that bozo mouth just couldn’t stop. He told them, "I deal drugs but I don’t set off fireworks." Busted!