Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

August 3, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from San Bernardino, California where bozo Armando Garcia was on probation for car theft and burglary. And as part of his probation, he was fitted with a high tech Global Positioning System ankle bracelet that would help the cops keep track of his whereabouts. Guess he didn’t think it would also place him at the scene of the crime in the five armed robberies he pulled off. It did. He’s back in jail.

August 2, 2007

Bozo criminals for today come form Gainesville, Georgia where bozos Pamela Payne and Marc Baxter broke into an abandoned nursing home hoping to steal copper pipes and wiring. They were hard at work when they heard the sound of barking dogs. Lots of angry sounding barking dogs, heading in their direction. And following right behind those dogs, several police officers. Our bozos quickly surrendered. Guess they didn’t notice the sign out front stating that the former nursing home had been turned into a training facility for the Gainesville Police Department’s K-9 Unit.

August 1, 2007

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Barbara Goldstein for sending in today’s report. From Goochland, Virginia comes the story of bozo Thomas Lang who was missing his fourteen year old girlfriend while she took summer school. So, he hatched a bozo plan to get her out of class. He headed down to the school and told the administrators that he was a police officer conducting a drug investigation and he needed to talk to the young lady. A couple of things caused his plan to go awry. First, he didn’t bother to try to dress like a police officer and second, he looked his age, seventeen. The administrator called the cops and our bozo was charged with trespassing.