Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

May 3, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from Columbus, Ohio where bozo Martino Wallace confronted his victim at gunpoint, demanding his wallet and car keys. After he got them, he then threw the poor guy into the trunk of his car, locking him inside. Our bozo then drove the car to an ATM, where he withdrew cash with the stolen ATM card. When he was asking his victim to turn over his valuables, our bozo should also have asked him for his cell phone. He didn’t and the guy used it to call the cops from inside the trunk, giving them a description of both the car and our bozo. The cops tracked him down and placed him under arrest.

May 2, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Neustrelitz, Germany and it proves something we’ve known for a very long time: Bozos love beer. Our unidentified bozo stole a cell phone. When the phone’s owner reported the theft to the police, one officer decided to try something. He called the number and when our bozo answered, he told him that he’s just won a case of beer…and if he’d just give him the address he’d deliver it. He did. Our bozo didn’t get his beer but he did get a free ride to jail.

May 1, 2007

Bozo criminal for today comes from Lenoir, North Carolina where Bozo Dennis Voyles went down to the county sheriff’s office to apply for a gun permit. As he was filling out his form, the officers noticed a familiar aroma wafting from his person, and it wasn’t Old Spice. Soon, the unmistakable smell of marijuana was so strong that it literally filled the hallways of the sheriff’s office. So, Kilo the drug dog was called into action. He immediately sniffed out some marijuana in our bozo’s truck. Busted!