Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

June 5, 2006

Like the song says, our bozo for today had a bad day. From St. Paul, Minnesota comes the story of bozo Sharon Thompson who walked into a bank wearing clothing from the burger restaurant White Castle, which made her easy to identify. Mistake number one. When she got her money, instead of fleeing the scene, she hung around near the bank, looking all sweaty and nervous. Mistake number two. Her appearance attracted an investigating officer, who motioned her to his squad car. She came over, told the officer she was exhausted and asked him for a lift. Mistake number three. That’s when the officer took a look inside the bag she was carrying and noticed the money. Busted!

June 2, 2006

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Kumagaya, Japan where an unidentified bozo walked into a bank. And that was just about the last thing he did right. He then went up to a teller and asked her meekly, "Any idea how you rob a bank?" She said, "No," and when she told him to leave, he quietly turned and walked away. A security guard stepped up and escorted him to the door and on the way out he noticed a bloodstain on our bozo’s trousers. He had stabbed himself in the leg with the knife he had planned to use in his heist. He’s been charged with illegal possession of a weapon. Maybe they should make a "Bank Robbing for Dummies" book!

June 1, 2006

Bozo criminal for today comes from Austin, Texas, where bozo Paul Greer walked into a bank and demanded money from a teller. He got his cash and on his way out a magazine in the bank lobby caught his interest. Instead of stealing it also, he sat down on one of the bank’s comfy sofas and began reading it. He continued to read while bank employees called the cops. He was still engrossed in the magazine when the police arrived. If he enjoys Field and Stream that much he should subscribe!