Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 3, 2005

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Slidell, Louisiana, where bozo Darryl Evans called the 911 operator and told her he needed help from the police in getting his mother to cook him a pork chop dinner. When the operator told him 911 was for emergencies only, he told her this was an emergency, he really wanted that pork chop dinner. The operator again politely tried to get off the line. Our bozo refused to shut up and finally became abusive to the operator. So the police were sent to his home, and he was arrested for disorderly conduct. Maybe they’re serving pork chops in jail this week.

March 2, 2005

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Kansas City, Missouri, where bozo Lawrence Kimbrough was a night clerk at a convenience store. It was while working the late shift that our bozo hatched his plan. (And after hearing the details, you may think he was half asleep when he came up with it!) He put tape over the lenses of the store’s security cameras, took the money from the cash registers, stashed it in a trash bin behind the store, and called the cops to report an armed robbery. Officers investigating the robbery quickly figured out what our bozo had done…He placed tape over the lenses of the security cameras, that’s true. Unfortunately, he used transparent tape. Everything he did was caught on video.

March 1, 2005

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Blaine, Washington, where bozo James Barker made his first mistake when he accepted a job from a marijuana farmer to haul off 38 bags full of marijuana leaves, stems and potting soil. Instead of hauling the stuff to the dump about six miles away from the farm, our bozo headed toward the U.S./Canadian border. That’s mistake two. He then got into the express lane for frequent border crossers, where vehicles without a special sticker are automatically pulled over for inspections. And that’s strike three, as the agents searched our bozo’s truck and found the dope. Do you think maybe he smoked a little of the stuff before he headed to the dump?