Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 3, 2004

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal today comes from the International File in Drogheda, Ireland, where bozo Paul Fulham’s robbery skills still need a little work. Our bozo returned to his hometown on holiday and planned to rob a shop next door to his childhood home. He armed himself with a knife, put a mask over his face and headed next door to do the deed. But it seems our bozo is a friendly sort, and on his way to the shop, he kept running into old friends, and each time he would lift his mask to say hello. And to top it off, he was more than a little inebriated, and once he got into the shop, he couldn’t find his way out. The police were called and helped him find his way to jail.

March 2, 2004

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Annapolis, Maryland, where bozo Chad Wilson was in violation of his parole and was about to be taken into custody in the county courthouse when he broke free and ran from the courtroom. Our bozo, with deputies in hot pursuit, ran to the nearby Maryland Inn, where he hid in a closet. So far, so good. It’s when our bozo came out of the closet that he got into trouble. Inside that closet, for reasons unknown, was a full-size bunny suit, complete with floppy pink ears and big bunny feet. Yes, our bozo put it on. And yes, he was immediately spotted by the deputies and arrested.

March 1, 2004

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Sparks, Nevada, where bozo Donald Eiland robbed two women pedestrians and then made his getaway by stealing a beer truck. Not believing his luck, our bozo stopped a few blocks away to see if the truck was full. It was. He couldn’t resist the chance to sample the brew. One thing led to another and, before you know it, our bozo was drunk. So drunk that when the police brought the two women by to identify him, before they could say anything, our bozo identified them as his victims. He’s been arrested.