Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 3, 2003

Another story today that helps to confirm that bozos and cell phones just don’t mix. From Hicksville, New York comes the story of 19 year old bozo Ryan Barker who, with the help of an accomplice broke into a residence. As they were ransacking the place, bozo Ryan accidentally hit the redial button on his cell phone. The call went to the voice mail of a girlfriend of the victim, who our bozo had called earlier in the day. The tape contained audio of our bozo and his friend casually chatting about the items they were stealing. Later, when the girlfriend checked her voice mail, she realized what was going on and called the cops. They tracked down our bozo and found the loot still in his car.

July 2, 2003

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Andy Ilott for sending in today’s report. From the International File in London, England comes the story of bozo Charles Peters who was cruising around Gatwick airport looking for bags to steal. And of all the bags to select, our bozo picked the worst possible one. He grabbed the bag of former world super middleweight champion Nigel Benn. Needless to say, the former champ didn’t take the idea of his bag being stolen lightly. He gave chase and held our bozo in a firm headlock until the police arrived.