Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 3, 2003

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Donald Stephens for sending in today’s report. From Topeka, Kansas comes the story of bozo Howard Phillips who should perhaps consider moving to a warmer climate. On a recent chilly night in Topeka bozo Howard fled when confronted by the police during an attempted robbery. Seeking a place to hide, our bozo took refuge in the chilly waters of an outdoor swimming pool. Not a good idea. When the cops fished him out, he was blue and his body temperature had reached 87 degrees. He’s thawing out in a nice warm jail.

January 2, 2003

Bozo criminal for today isn’t really a criminal, but he’s so dumb it’s a crime. From Bennington, Vermont comes the story of 18 year old bozo Nicolas Parra who was arrested for reckless driving after his pickup sideswiped a utility pole. It was the reason he gave to the officers for the accident that landed him in the Bozo Hall of Fame. He told the cop that there was a short in one of his truck’s stereo speaker wires and he deliberately ran into the pole, hoping to jar the speaker back into working order. Don’t know if it worked but we’re only sorry it didn’t jar any sense into him.

January 1, 2003

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Gaithersburg, Maryland where there had been a number of new appliances stolen from townhomes that were being built. Police were on the site investigating the theft of a refrigerator from one of the homes when they noticed our bozo Freddie Simon pull up in his pickup. He backed the truck up to the dumpster on the site and tossed in…a large cardboard box that the refrigerator he had stolen had come in. He’s under arrest.