Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

December 3, 2002

Bozo criminal for today comes from Austin, Texas where bozo Jamie O’Donnell stole a car and headed North. Somewhere between Austin and Arkansas he picked up a hitchhiker. When he reached Virginia, our bozo stopped at a rest area to use the bathroom. When he came back out the car was gone. That’s right, our bozo’s stolen car was stolen again, this time by the hitchhiker. His problems were further complicated when he called the cops to report the heist. It didn’t take them long to figure out our bozo was the first thief. And it didn’t take them long to find the second thief, either. They’re both under arrest for stealing the same car.

December 2, 2002

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Donald Stephens for sending in today’s report. From Arlington, Virgina comes the story of Bozo Javier Ortega who was prowling around a parking lot looking for a car to steal the license plates off of. In typical Bozo fashion, he chose the worst possible car to go to work on. First, it was an unmarked police car. Second, it was occupied–by a plain clothed cop. Third, the cop in car number one was talking to another officer in the car next door. And fourth, our bozo didn’t even notice when the cop leaned out of the window to get a better look at what was going on. He was arrested as he headed back to his car to get a larger screwdriver.