Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 3, 2002

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Bruno d’Asti, Italy comes the story of bozo Carlo Brunelli who held up a post office at gunpoint, fleeing with about $4300. Postal employees quickly locked the door after our bozo fled and watched in amazement as he got into his car, sat there for a moment and then ran back to the door of the post office. Finding it locked he began to shout for them to please let him in, as he’d left his car keys on the counter. Sorry, Carlo. He was still crying and begging to be let back in when the police arrived.

July 2, 2002

Bozo criminal for today comes from New Orleans, Louisiana where bozo Mitchell Lane was frustrated with his life. Our bozo was a cab driver but he felt unfulfilled. He had always wanted to be on TV and that’s what led him to become a bozo. In his quest for fame he called the cops and told them that he was on his way to New Orleans International Airport to "cause some trouble" in the name of Saddam Hussein. He then armed himself with a BB gun and a small knife and headed out. Don’t know if he really intended to cause any problems but he did get his wish…TV cameras filmed him as the FBI took him into custody.

July 1, 2002

Bozo criminal for today comes from St. Petersburg, Florida where bozo Daniel Bryarly robbed a residence and then used a cab as his getaway car. This in itself is not new, bozos have tried it before. It was what our bozo brought with him when he climbed into the cab that aroused the driver’s suspicions. He had his loot, consisting of four snakes, a sword, two mobile phones and a purse he’d taken from the house. The cabbie called the cops after the bozo was dropped off at his residence. His next ride was free, courtesy of the police department.