April 2, 2002

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Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Santiago, Chile comes the story of bozo Jose Moreno who held up a store. In the ensuing scuffle with the owner our bozo lost his gun. He fled the store only to return a few hours later, showered, shaved and in his best clothes. He apologized, said it was all a big mistake and asked if he could please have his gun back. Sorry, Jose, no deal. He was arrested.

April 1, 2002

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Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Chad Edwards for sending in today’s report. From Terre Haute, Indiana comes the story of a couple of teenage bozos who were going door to door offering to shovel snow off sidewalks. Our bozos came to the home of retired school teacher Eileen Prose who wasn’t at home. The door was unlocked and our bozos decided to go inside and nose around, looking for anything they might want. About that time Mrs. Prose returned home, saw the two shovels standing outside and the front door slightly ajar and quickly figured out what was going on. First, she used her cell phone to call the cops. Then, as she approached the house, our two bozos came walking out. Using her best school teacher voice she said, "You boys are going to stay right there until the police come." Our bozos must have had some sort of grade school flashback, because that’s just what they did. They followed their teacher’s instructions and waited quietly until the police arrived to arrest them.