Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

October 3, 2001

bozo criminals for today come from the appropriately named city of Dummerston, Vermont. Father and son bozo team Herbert and Brian Powell went for a little drive over to Connecticut where they became hopelessly lost. Driving aimlessly down the road, they spotted a police car parked on the shoulder. Our bozos thought they would stop and ask for directions, which would have been fine except for the fact that they weren’t alone in the car. They were traveling with their good friends Bud and Weiser. And it didn’t help their cause any when bozo Brian told the officer his date of birth was "September 31." Pops has been arrested for drunk driving and son for drug possession and resisting arrest.

October 2, 2001

bozo criminal for today comes from Van Buren, Arkansas where bozo Mark Thompson stole a car stereo and and amplifier from a car parked in front of a tire store. And after getting his loot, he just couldn’t leave well enough alone. He had to go on a rampage in the parking lot, breaking bottles, tearing up stuff, and as his crowning achievement, mooning the empty store, leaving a rather large print on the front window. He then left, thinking he had gotten away scot free. Only one problem, when he dropped his pants to moon the store, his wallet fell from his pocket. He didn’t notice but the cops did. He’s been arrested.

October 1, 2001

Thanks to bozo News Hawk Dan Cordell for sending in today’s report. From Minneapolis, Minnesota comes the story of bozo Wayne Geary who was selling drugs on a street corner in the southeast part of town when a big car pulled up and the woman in the back seat rolled down her window. Our bozo immediately rushed up and asked her if she was looking for a deal. Guess he didn’t recognize her. It was the mayor who was driving around the area to take part in a neighborhood clean-up effort to rid the area of drug dealers. He’s been arrested.