Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

November 02, 1999

Bozo criminals for today come from the International File. Three bozos were attempting so smuggle about $5 million worth of drugs into the U.S. from the Netherlands. The three bozos checked their drug filled luggage at the airport in the Netherlands only to find that the flight to Newark was overbooked. The luggage left on the plane to New Jersey while the bozos had to stay behind and wait for a later flight. In the meantime, customs agents checked the suspicious unclaimed baggage and found the drugs. When the bozos finally arrived in the United States, they didn’t sneak out to the baggage claim area looking for their luggage. Nope, they did what any bozo would do. They checked into an expensive New York hotel, called the airline and demanded that their luggage be brought to their room. The only thing delivered to their room was their arrest warrant.

November 01, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Brownsboro, Texas where bozo Randy Dillon was pulled over by the police for speeding. As the officer walked up to the car he thought he smelled something funny burning and asked our bozo, "Where’s the marijuana?" Our friendly bozo thought for a moment, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a plastic baggy filled with the stuff. The officer then asked if there was any more and the bozo told him there was another pound and a half in the floorboard and back seat. Our cooperative bozo was then arrested.