Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

September 01, 1999

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 3329: It’s usually not a good idea to use your mom as your getaway car driver. From Columbus, Ohio comes the story of bozo Darren Wallace who decided to hold up the local bank. Only problem-our bozo had no transportation. So he asked his mother if she would give him a lift to the bank. Since mom didn’t know what his plans were she was glad to oblige. What our bozo didn’t know was that mom also needed to make a quick trip to the grocery store a couple of blocks away. So she dropped him off at the bank and headed for the store to take care of her shopping. When our bozo ran out of the bank his getaway car was nowhere to be found. He was arrested before mom ever returned with her groceries.