Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

3 3, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Detroit, Michigan where bozo Hank Collins broke into the basement of a bank by breaking a street level window and squeezing through. Unfortunately for our bozo, once he was in the basement he could find no way to get into the bank itself. Also unfortunately for the bozo the window was too high for him to climb back up and escape and besides he had cut himself rather badly on the broken glass as he had climbed through. So, what did he do? He found a phone in the basement and called 911 for help.

3 2, 1999

Bozo criminal for today picked the wrong place to hide from the cops. From the International File in Johannesburg, South Africa comes the story of Isaac Moohad who was surprised by the police as he was attempting to break into a house. Fleeing down the street, our bozo made a quick turn and ran into the local zoo, leaping over a wall and directly into the gorilla cage. He found himself face to face with Max the Gorilla, who wasn’t in the mood for visitors. Max the Gorillia tore the bozo’s jeans, bit him on the behind, grabbed his leg, swung him around and threw him against the wall, where he kept him pinned until police and zookeepers arrived.

3 1, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from New Rochelle, New York where bozo Lucy Amador was arrested for bank robbery. Bozo Lucy held up the Marine Midland Bank, getting away with $10,000. Police had no difficulty in tracking her down, however. Before pulling a knife on the bank manager, our bozo sat down and filled out a complete loan application, including her correct name and address.