Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

6 3, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today comes from Bozo News Hawk Miller Duncan via the internet. From Ipswich, Australia comes the story of bozo Nigel Gilliam who was pulled over for driving without a license. When the officer asked him for his ID, the bozo panicked and gave him the name of a friend instead of his own. Police checked the friend’s name in their computer and found he was wanted on more than a dozen traffic offenses. The cops cleared up the confusion and arrested not only our bozo but also his friend. The bozo was quoted as saying as he was being taken away, "I’ve got to get some new friends."

6 2, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File. From Montreal, Canada, comes the story of Bozo Marianne Reiser who was arrested and charged with assault of her husband. It was her method that gets her into the bozo hall of fame. It seems her victim is allergic to peanuts and breaks out in a rash whenever he comes incontact with them. Bozo wife decided the easiest way to get rid of him would be to smear peanut butter over his face while he was sleeping. The husband escaped injury when he woke up and took his allergy medicine–right after calling police.

6 1, 1998

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Miller Duncan who reports in with today’s Bozo Criminal Story. From the Didn’t Know When to Leave Well Enough Alone File comes the story of bozo Randall Carlson who was doing time for arson in jail in Alabama. During his stint in jail, our bozo accumulated a collection of 150 boxes of matches which he fashioned together into a crude bomb and mailed to the federal appeals court. Fortunately, the bomb did not go off. Unfortunately for the bozo, he put his name and return address on the package.