Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

5 4, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 6549: Be sure you are well rested before committing a crime. From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania comes the story of bozo Walter Mitchell who broke into a home, ransacked it, grabbing some jewelry and a few other items. The bozo then headed downstairs where he spotted what appeared to be a comfy chair. The bozo decided to try out the comfy chair and promptly fell asleep. The homeowner arrived home, found the bozo and called the cops who came by and rousted sleeping beauty, charging him with burglary.

5 1, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today comes from Farmingdale, New York where bozo Raymond Lerner walked up to a restaurant cashier and demanded money. The nervous cashier, while handing the gun-toting bozo his cash, dropped some of it on the floor underneath the counter. The bozo placed his gun on the counter and bent down to pick up the fallen money. The cashier then grabbed the bozo’s gun, firing a shot at the flustered thief as he rushed out the door. The bozo hopped in his car, peeled out and promptly ran into another car in the parking lot. The cops came by and arrested the bozo, who now had no money, no gun and a wrecked car.