Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

7 2, 1997

Bozo criminal for today comes from Lacombe, Louisiana where T.P. Impasto was tired of someone breaking into his shed and stealing his stuff. So, he sprinkled red chalk dye on the floor of the shed, hoping to catch a thief. And he did. When bozo Douglas Casborn broke into the shed and carried off a chain saw, some tools and fishing supplies he left behind some very incriminating evidence. A red chalk trail leading from the shed to his front door. When police knocked on the door, they found the stolen articles and a bozo covered in red dye.

7 1, 1997

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File. From Bangkok, Thailand comes the story of a bozo running for office on a law and order platform. One of the bozo’s major campaign promises was to strengthen enforcement of drug laws. To demonstrate just how easy it is to obtain drugs in Bangkok, our bozo purchased some street amphetamines and then called a news conference to inform the public that if he could buy drugs that easily on the street, anyone could. To add emphasis to his news conference, the bozo ground up a pill, heated it on a piece of aluminum foil and inhaled the smoke thru a straw, as a user might do if free-basing. Apparently, his demonstration was a little too graphic. After the news conference, authorities arrested the bozo for possession. Bozo was also in violation of Bozo Rule #92–politicians should never inhale.