Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

August 16, 2001

Our bozo for today goes a long way toward proving that the "Dog as Man’s Best Friend" theory does not apply to bozos. From Missoula, Montana comes the story of bozo Michael Starkey who left his black lab tied up to a water spigot in front of his house. One day while our bozo was away the lab broke free, rupturing the pipe, which caused the basement to flood. When the property manager came by to take care of the problem he discovered the water cutoff was in the basement. To reach it, however, he had to fight his way through a six foot tall jungle of marijuana plants which our bozo was cultivating using grow lights. Don’t know who got possession of the dog but we do know the cops were waiting for our bozo when he returned home.

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