Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 24, 2001

Thanks to bozo News Hawk Jo Will for sending in today’s report. From North Conway Village, New Hampshire comes the story of bozo Kevin Phillips who violated bozo Rule Number 3490: When you steal a car it’s usually a good idea to remember where you parked it. Our bozo heisted a bright red BMW and headed straight to the nearest bar to have a few drinks. When he came back out he tried the key in the lock and it wouldn’t fit. He looked at the key and looked at the car and tried it again and again the key wouldn’t work. Becoming frustrated, our bozo next picked up a brick and tried to smash the window. And that’s when he attracted the attention of the the cops, who came over and sorted the whole thing out. They discovered that our bozo’s car, the stolen one, was parked a few spaces away. Yep, he’d gone to the wrong car. He’s now been charged with theft and destruction of property.

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