Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

February 8, 2001

Bozo criminal for today must have let the batteries run down in his watch. From Vernon Township, New Jersey comes the story of bozo James Drake who was planning to hold up a local bank. Our bozo arrived ready to do the job. He even put on his ski mask before he got out of the car. He strode purposefully up to the front door of the bank and gave it a mighty tug. The door didn’t budge. So he gave it a push. Still didn’t budge. Not realizing that it was past the bank’s closing time, he banged on the door, hoping a helpful employee would let him in. (Not while you’re wearing a ski mask, you bozo!) Startled bank employees tripped the alarm and the cops quickly arrived and arrested him.

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